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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: May 24, 2011, 3:07 PM
I've heard human growth (emotional or otherwize) Likened to children growing and learning. Have you ever seen a baby just before it learns something new like crawling or rolling or teeth growing?? If you have then you know what I mean. I feel like that growing child. Yesterday I was convinced this was the wierdest program and that I may even be done with it. I am alienating everyone. I told my daughter to f*** off, and she is always so sweet. Its like I don't know how to set healthy boundaries. I only know how to try to scare people away from me. Or cry and get them to feel sorry for me. Or even guilt them into being nice to me. but never straight forward set a boundary. I must be exhausting to be around. At least the old me. Yesterday had a morning full of tears and worries. Today I was recharged and able to face the day I thought healthily then E shows up for a ride to school after I haven't seen him all weekend. WTH?? So I yelled and raged and carried on. About it wasn't ok, not to show up all weekend and then show up and expect a ride to school. Have grandma give you a ride. Now I owe more ammends. Only this time. I learned from my friend, I need to set living ones. NO more I'm sorries. I'm sick and tired of being sorry. I think?? I hope. This time I SWEAR I am entirely sick of this character defect. I swear...
When will this step be over. Love Jane BTW 61 days smoke free!!! -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen  | ||
Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005
Posted: May 24, 2011, 3:18 PM
When will this step be over.
Ummm, when we quit doing what we used to do & reacting in old ways<beg> Once I get done with it, I'll let you know but I still get those defects that come up & it's another opportunity for change & spiritual growth.............oh, how I love this program. ps...you can't quit until you get through the rest of the steps! Then we'll talk about it...LOL -------------------- Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you. | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: May 24, 2011, 5:46 PM
LOL! I just love you. Ok, ok. we will talk about it. maybe that is part of why I am rushing it. I just want it to be over. And be perfect. I guess I'll have to practice first. PS You mean this is a design for living? I thought it was how to get you to quit something. LOL :) -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: March 30, 2020, 11:59 AM
I think I am on 63 but I got all messed up. I love these old threads. They just make me smile. I loved AA from day one. I found people and ideas that resonated completely with me. So grateful I stuck around. As the world is chaos I have inner peace. I cannot explain. I have to attribute that to my HP and a desing for living. I am one prone to anxiousness and I have not been anxious at all. I dont feel I am in denial I am just at peace un- REAL. I'll take it. Thank you God for the blessing of peace that you have given me and I am passing it on to my sponsees. I haven't called my new sponsor and I am pretty sure that I am not going to use her a sponsor. Its just not working out. I told myself to work the steps with her and give it a real go. I honestly dont think that is a possibility. So I will move forward and trust that I will be shown how to find my recovery. I am connected to a great group of women and I think a new sponsor will reveal I have to believe. Still SMober. Very grateful I quit when I did.
Much love 7 Respect Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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