Posted: May 23, 2011, 2:56 PM

Posts: 2945
Joined: January 11, 2006

"My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others." Went to the 6 am meeting. I couldn't sleep spent most of the night ruling the world. I went to a speaker meeting last night and it was excellent. I am living and breathing AA right now. Then this morning I told my daughter to f*** off. Proud moment in my life. I think I need help from others. Namedly her dad. Just like with Ed, I am overwhelmed and I need him to step in. I can't do this on my own and I don't want to . He has never stepped up to the plate and I doubt he will now. I know right before I got divorced that I was completely overwhelmed and I just kept using drugs and running until he HAD to do it. And even then my mom did it. Not him. This is a repeating pattern. How do I change it? I can't see the answer please god show me the answer. I have been to many meetings I have prayed read wrote what is it that is your will for me? I cannot see the light right now.

(BTW I know my numbers are off when I log on to the smoking cessation board it says 60 I am gonna go with it)

Im not doing so hot today. Please god save me from me.

My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins

Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."

"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen

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