56
Posted: May 19, 2011, 10:51 AM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



I missed the morning meeting because I was lazy and its my birthday! (belly button) I was rottenly rude to E this morning. I was looking to get even. I will make ammends later. I wanted him to see how it feels. I don't think that was real mature, but I did it. He stayed at his dads and then he texted if I would pick him up for a ride to school. I said yes. Then I said never mind walk over. Because I realized what I was doing (a favor) when I told myself that was it. No more favors. After the Prom incident. Then he didn't show up. He texted that it was raining then proceeded to say f*** that its raining mom real mature, if you want this over you have to stop being immature. So I forwarded him the text that he sent me after he stood me up for prom. The text read: I'm sorry, not that it matters. It just slipped my mind. I love you.
I am an a******. That could have been handled better, but I got to admit it WAS pretty immature. URGGG>>> (I feel a little bad because it felt so good.) I am sure it will backfire. How will this thing end.

Anyways I am grateful I am drug free, smoke free, ruling the world free. I really feel at peace, and it is awesome. Then I start to feel bad that I feel good. wth


Jane

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: May 19, 2011, 11:27 AM


Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007



WHAT??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wanted to add I do things like that too (to get even.) My granddaughter said to me the other day "I don't like questions." When I said "I'm just trying to have a conversation with you." She said "I don't want to talk." (this after I took her out for dinner!!!) So the next time she asked me to take her somewhere I was so tempted to say "I don't like questions, I don't want to talk." I actually did not think about that retort until it was too late -- but I'm kinda glad now that I didn't think to say anything back.

Geez these teens nowadays, they are impossible.

This post has been edited by lightacandle on May 19, 2011, 11:30 AM

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For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter.

Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to.

Take what you need & leave the rest.

I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years.

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jesus loves us.

LAFFStore
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Posted: May 19, 2011, 11:36 AM


Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005



Happy Birthday, Jane. Treat yourself good today. No expectations from others, enjoy you.

QUOTE
I really feel at peace, and it is awesome. Then I start to feel bad that I feel good. wth


That's so codie behavior and I can relate A LOT to that, how can I be happy when everyone else is so into their drama & unhappy. The answer I have found is I'm okay with myself & at peace and by doing the next right thing & continuing to live that way, the bi-product from that is Happiness...............so, I dismiss the negative thinking/talk and allow myself to feel good and accept that this is truly God's will. He wants me (& you) happy, joyous & free and most days I am there.

Enjoy the freedom, Jane. And if you're feeling good, then you're in God's light and the work you've been doing, the pain you've walked through is now showing you the spiritual way of living. It's a beautiful & privelaged way of life. A gift.

Big hugs.
Stacey


--------------------
Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.
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Posted: May 19, 2011, 11:43 AM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



LAC- Its a tuff deal. I know it wasn't right. I just did it. The truth is I do want a relationship with him, but I also get treated like that. The I don't like questions thing. I get it, I was 17 so I am not taking all this BS too personally. But I am starting about last week, asking for some respect. The freewheelin what ever you want to say or do is fine with me days are over. After today no more "punishment" (hopefully) Just boundaries and rules. Thanks for chatting with me about this, it sure helps to have someone who gets it.

Stacey- Thank you for the permission, I will enjoy the day. Sometimes it helps when some one agrees that I am o.k. if I am happy. So right no expectations. I am sure my mom will play the if you don't come to my house=no present or wishes. And E will do his own thing. And thats ok. I am at peace. Thanks for your friendship and encouragement.

Love
Jane

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: May 19, 2011, 1:07 PM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



I just read part of the big book.

We must not retaliate and or argue. If we do it destorys our chances of helping. (More Chaos) Just to the extent that we trust him and do what he wants us to do. He will enable us to match SERENITY with calamity. If we trust him remarkable things will happen.

I am an a******. I will make my ammeds.

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: May 19, 2011, 1:33 PM


Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005



I will make my ammeds.


Smiling~

editted to add:

I still can hear my BFF chatter in my ear at times, Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?



This post has been edited by 24Gordon on May 19, 2011, 1:38 PM

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Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.
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Posted: March 24, 2020, 11:28 AM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



56.. More advice I needed to hear again. Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy. I get to choose where I put my focus today. I typed a long post but just delted it. I am choosing to be as happy as I can be in the circumstances today. My previous sponsor says ifes short and there is no guarantees. You worry about tomorrow as if it is promised. The world lately proves we never know what tomorrow brings. So just for today I a choosing happiness, helpfulness, and gratitude. I am grateful to be at work and went on a run this morning. I have a Al-anon Zoom meeting tonight. So Ill just do whats in front of me.
Much love and respect wash your hands keep your social distance and carry on,
Jane

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


user posted image
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