42
Posted: May 5, 2011, 11:24 AM


Posts: 3052
Joined: January 11, 2006



Good morning. I am here. So far I am smoke free, and drug free and even alcohol free. I am working on being free of running the world. Arranging the people, places and things to make ME happy. Working on it. Not completely conquering. I am small God is big. I think for today, I will let him do for me what I cannot seem to do for myself. So I will stop trying so f***ing hard. Happy Cinco De Mayo.

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


user posted image
  Top
Posted: May 5, 2011, 3:28 PM


Posts: 3052
Joined: January 11, 2006



Went to a non meeting. My God was it powerful! Amazing group of people. Each one had a different and very opposing view of the Higher Power in thier program. There was several good anologies. One was getting a new pair of glasses: Change the way you see things, and the things you see will change. Not Seing the forest for the tress. And one very awesome one came from a guy worshiping Native American: He said when you walk around in anger, you put a bullseye on you, All the arrows will get you. Take away the anger, people stop shooting. I am gonna try that one. I have had alot of anger, and in turn tought my kids

Love
Jane

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


user posted image
  Top
Posted: March 10, 2020, 10:27 AM


Posts: 3052
Joined: January 11, 2006



42 again. The message is still as clear as ever. God either is or he isn't. Last night I met with a sponsee to finish up her 4/5th step then hit a jail meeting. It was a very long day. I slept like total s*** last night. It was the full moon. Since I didn't sleep anyway though I got up and ran 3 miles. The moon lit the way and it was cool and crisp but its already getting a little warmer. Day light saving though made it very dark- even with the full moon.
The meeting last night was of course on step 3. Because we just do the AA daily reader when I take the meeting to jail. It talked about the many times I should have been dead - yet something brought me to the rooms. That is just one part I remembered. The reminder being God is working in my life long before I realized it. He also continues to I dont know his plan especially when I dont agree with it. I've turned my will (judgements or thoughts of how it should be) over to him to do with me as he will. Today I will hold on and try my best to trust. Change generally moves me to where I need to be. I just dont like the hallways. I love that I know my higher power better now then I did when I started and we have built a relationship of sorts. I just have to continue moving forward.
42 smoke free. . . Its just the begining of the day but I feel like my obsession continues to be lifted. It comes back but its just a thought and I dont have to act on that thought today.
Much love & respect,
Jane
Edited to add. I love posting here still it just keeps me acountable. Blessed that God has kept this board up. I have such fond memories of this place

This post has been edited by justjane on March 10, 2020, 10:28 AM

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


user posted image
  Top
Posted: March 10, 2020, 8:47 PM


Posts: 3052
Joined: January 11, 2006



Had a good day but gotta just get it out I want a cigarette so damn bad I swear the last few days has been worse than the first. I got some physical stuff going on racing heart headache mouth watering. Like I WANT one. God relieve me of the obsession. I have been working with others and doing my program I’m doing my part. I just got to not give up before the miracle . Maybe it’s because I did t sleep well at all
God help me

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


user posted image
  top of page  Top