39
Posted: May 2, 2011, 8:37 AM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



Good morning. Had a nice weekend I hiked Angels Landing in Zions National Park. It was tuff, my body hurts and I can hardly move. But I did it. I spent only half the time I was there obsessing about the kids and my xhusband. Wich is not too bad. Considering I also did something for myself and went on with my life. Rather than sit home and think I was in controll because if I am home in my mind I am close enough to pick up all the pieces when everything falls apart. I must have quite a high self esteem to think that the world/kids fall apart when I am not here.
My daughter and my son do not check in with my x husband they never go to his house on his weekends. If I leave they just go to my parents or thier friends. They never go to his house. And he never tracks them down/calls them nothing. they are 14 & 16. I know this is unhealthy. I just can't seem to solve it. I tell them to go there (he lives within walking distance) Or I drop them off there. Then they just leave. I am open to suggestions if anyone can tell me what I can do to change the situation. My son supposedly lives there. But my x never knows where he is. Do I take him to court? What will that change? Do I just do the whole thing full time myself? I've tried that too. In the end I keep thinking they need thier dad. BUt he won't show up no matter what I do or do not do. I keep praying. I am trying to take care of myself. I don't feel what I am doing is right. But I seriously feel like I am powerless. HELP.

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: March 7, 2020, 8:49 PM


Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006



39. That post just makes me so sad. That was such a difficult time in my life. I was so stuck and scared and overwhelmed and I just still could do nothing to take care of myself or my kids. I hate reading it. My life was falling apart. Yuck 🤢!
Grateful to be smoke free and sober today. I went on a long run then hit and meeting. My favorite way to spend my weekend morning. Spent the day with my husband and hit my friends brother’s celebration of life. My feet really hurt and I’m glad to just be chilling out on the couch the rest of the day. My life is good and calm today. I can’t change the past but I can try to do better now. So grateful that I’m not smoking and still working on myself and on my recovery. Sometimes lately I am hard on myself that I should be more or better. I’m up to my a** in my recovery commitments and recovery in general. I do things I love. I am what I am and I am working on just accepting myself as I am. Worts and all.
Much love and respect,
Jane

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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