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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: April 16, 2011, 7:06 PM
Sorry if this is getting old but you don't have to read it. LOL! Kinda for me there for you if its helping. Well I went to a noon meeting only to sit in the parking lot and wait for my son to call, to tell me what time we meet with the board of directors. I couldn't walk in and I couldn't drive away. So I just sa there. "on my hands" as a friend would say. It helped. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't use a pill. I was white nuckling it all the way. I prayed and prayed and waiting for him to call. He did.
We went to the meeting he is suspended for ten days random drug tests daily, and he has to pay for them. I sat there I let him talk and I was there for support. He was honest and they liked that. (oh and he used his dads jeep without asking thinking he wouldn't get caught) So there is that. But I made it through then I dropped him off at his dads. And I went to a meeting. There were about ten of us there so we had the meeting outside in the sun. Real casual really nice. I needed it so badly. I called Stacey on the way home and vented. I am almost back to "normal" whatever that is now. Trying to stay out of Gods way. Trying to stick with what I say. Im alive. I DIDN"T SMOKE. and I am greatful. Cause I easily could have. But I didn't think about it too much. I hardly think about them at all. Except maybe a passing thought. Thatsit. Glad I am alive. :) -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen  | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: February 20, 2020, 11:35 AM
3-2. I talked to my son he called from Prison. God.. to go back in time & try to stop the hands. I was so overwhelmed. I am sure I added to the confusion and not the peace. I did my best with what I had at the time. Bleh.. The thing I can see from this post is I just did the next right thing. I used the tools that I had at the time. E will be out in a month. I wont be in town when they release him. He asked for a ride to the half way house. I am way past rearranging my life to coincide with weather he is in or out of custody. I already had a half marathon scheduled for out of town. I had a sleepless night. Whatever here I am another day. Today is all I have. I didn't hit a meeting last night but I talked to 3 other alcoholics over the course of the evening. I listened to Bob D speaker tapes while I couldn't sleep. Really resonated. I have to keep working this program. I have a disease that can be arrested but not cured.
Love all this program has brought me. I will keep giving it away. Much Love & Respect, Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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