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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: March 30, 2011, 9:38 AM
I'm not sure I can keep the daily thing going...but for now. Day 7 begins. I went to a meeting last night. This was one in my home town, and I had not been there before. I found it and went in... It surprising how fast an hour goes by. I was absorbed in each story. It was the typical what I was like what happened and how I am now type thing. It could get really boring but it hasn't yet. My next step is to find a womens group. So that is what I am looking for now. The meetings help. When I came home from work I freaked out on my son. Yelling how he never follows through with anything and yada yada on and on. I realized what I was doing so I went on a walk. I came back and collected myself enough to get the kids and head to my moms and have dinner. I went to the meeting and came back with a full grateful heart. I believe in the last 6 years I forgot where I came from. I have seriously come a long way. I want to reach out and get a sponser and try to get out from underneath the cigarette issue. If it is in Gods plan (wich I think I am aligning with) I will do the footwork. Now that sounds a bit over zelous. So let me come back with. Just for today I will hit a meeting and not smoke. :) Just today no long term meeting every minute sponsor live and breathe AA thing. I am just going to a meeting today and thats it. I know I will be better off if I ease into this.
Ok long winded there NOw I am off to work. (URGGG driving without a ciggarette on the way to work double URGGGG) This too will pass. **I also had my car detailed so it no longer smells lke smoke the BF paid for it ! :) Love, Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen  | ||
Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: March 30, 2011, 4:38 PM
Hang in there, Jane.
-------------------- १२ स्तैप्पैर! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: March 30, 2011, 5:55 PM
I'm so f***ing emotional. Your post almost made me cry. Thanks KAT
how you doing on yours? -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: March 30, 2011, 9:28 PM
Just got back from a meeting. I took a 24 hour chip and a hug. Then proceeded to try to tell the group that I was there for quitting smoking. I ended up sounded like I was terminally unique and had no other problems. An old timer handed me a pamphlet about insisting that you have an alcohol problem to be there. THen everyone's shares turned in to how when they came to the rooms they didn't think they had a problem. It probably was what I needed to hear. But it made me laugh. Because in all my cigarette induced fog I just sounded like an idiot. All I wanted to say was that I didn't want any numbers for people who smoked. Wich I don't know why I thought that anyway. It's like my brain is on permanent "don't smoke" tape recorder so that is what comes out of my mouth as well. LOL! I am a dork. But all things aside I am glad I went and probably got brought down a few notches. Humbled. Now they all think that I am "unique" maybe I am.. and I am of good naturedness about it. I know I am 100% powerless over whats on my back right now. Thank God I have some place to go where everyone knows exactly how that feels. I'll take another 24 smoke free hours.
heart, jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: February 3, 2020, 3:12 PM
Day 7 again. I am starting over but not from scratch. I am starting over with experience. Hope that doesn't work against me. I didn't start smoking a ton again, but a puff here and a puff there and eventually one a day or half a day. The bigger deal is that I try to hide it. I dont know what is with that behavior but it is sneaky s***. A subtle foe if you will. I didn't mean to start quitting again but I got dry socket after a tooth pulled. I see all the insanity seeping back into my life. Funny- maybe that I woudl say that about a cigarette when I have much bigger fish to fry. But again its sneaky and I dont know where one thing ends and the other begins. Just for today and the last 7 days i haven't smoked i have chewed a couple of pieces of nicontine gum. ya even with the dental stuff. I never said I was smart. I am struggling and have had terrible insomnia, but honestly I get insomnia anyways so it may or may not have anythign to do with the nicotine. Here we go again. Please god let it be the last time
-------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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