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Posts: 52
Joined: May 13, 2007
Posted: November 18, 2022, 6:52 AM
My son has used suboxone for 20 years. He has snorted in for 5 that I know of. When do counselors tell you that you have a suboxone problem? I really believe he does other things as well even though his weekly scheduled urine test is “usually “clean". But his behavior is erratic, aggressive, and bizarre. My timid, gentle son scares me, and he swears he doesn’t have a drug problem. If he doesn’t, he has serious mental issues. I evicted him from my house after 4 years of no rent and getting stuck with the water bill. He is livid! He breaks in my home; tells the cops I am the one trespassing and having bowel movements on my floor and in my tub. My husband of 39 years died October 21st, so I'm already stressed and now I am scared as well. He is supposed to be in a crisis house but waiting on an inpatient rehab he tells my sister-in-law is supposed to be to treat his Asperger's which was never diagnosed by the counselors or psychiatrist I took him to. I am lost other than to just pray he gets better. Any suggestions are welcome.
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 16, 2022, 12:50 AM
Hello,
I want to say I am sorry for the loss of your husband. My husband was helping to take care of his father for two years while our son was on the addiction roller coaster. It stinks knowing that your son could be helping the family but he chooses to be another part of the problem. The life you are describing sounds completely exhausting. After many years of trying to help our son, I got to the point where I felt that life is truly difficult. There is a lot of heartbreak and sadness. I just thought, whoever doesn’t have heartbreak, doesn’t have kids, lol. I did get to the point where I thought, it’s either him or me and I could not save either one of us until I moved out of our house, temporarily. I was contributing to his behavior even if I only gave a pack of cigs. I was cornered into it. And could not say no. We asked son to leave and I left also, I had just lost my job, so I went to stay with friends for a few months. In reading your posts I am most concerned about your health and safety. This might be a good time to liquidate your assets and downsize. Use some time to escape and take care of yourself. After my son left, and left our state, I still locked my bedroom door while sleeping. It took a year for me to feel safe enough to not lock the door. My son was not as unpredictable as yours. You might be able to take a home eq loan in order to float some expenses, hire a professional to get the houses ready to sell. Put your stuff in storage. Find your happy place and rent for a while. You really deserve some time for yourself. | ||
Posts: 271
Joined: June 27, 2015
Posted: January 9, 2023, 10:33 PM
Good advice ny florida.
-------------------- IT ONLY GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.! | ||
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Posts: 52
Joined: May 13, 2007
Posted: January 30, 2023, 6:33 AM
Thankyou NY to Fl. I finally got the house cleaned and repaired. Had some other issues come up such as my son refusing to sign the will so the lawyer has to post in the paper for a month for him to respond. That will be up tomorrow...yeah! On February 1 the lawyer can request the judge proceed with probate. That takes 2-4 weeks. At that point, I can sell the house. All I can say is I'm getting there. I have NO idea where my son is. His friends do not respond to my texts or calls. I'm going to choose to believe he is either in rehab or a safe place somewhere. Any other thoughts send me into a tailspin and that is just not healthy. I do get winded up when I think of all the lose and horrific hells I have experienced the last several years. My husband's 6 year battle with cancer has left me with PTSD as I've seen him projectile vomit blood, fall, not know me and hear and see people not there. It was almost like an exorcism or some other bizarre stretch of hideous experiences I went through with him before he died. Then, I was trapped working in a covid critical care unit for 2 years when that crap hit the fan. And, my son checking out of reality and living in drug kingdom for the entire time. I know I have PTSD. My daughter senses it too and I give her panic attacks talking about it. She texted me this morning that I give her panic attacks and she needs to not talk to me for a month or two. Lord! What next??? I have found a nice man who I have dated several times and have been spending time with. I am actually spending the night with him tonight. I feel so safe with him and he does not feel overwhelmed with my bouts of sadness. In fact, I'm not so sad when I am with him. I need a new beginning and someone who is safe to share with me. Maybe this is a good thing. I sure as hell hope so.
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Posts: 52
Joined: May 13, 2007
Posted: February 10, 2023, 12:27 AM
UPDATE: I got my property probated and put it on the market the same day. The first person that saw it placed a good offer, not much less than what I was asking on my home. Unfortunately it was contingent on my not getting a better offer during the time the person who made the offer had people inspecting the property. And, the second couple who went to see my house was stopped outside the door by the agent. It seems my son was in the house and had strowed food all over the kitchen and had locked himself in the bedroom. The couple was so horrified, they left without looking at my home. I nearly had a melt down as my son was intent on doing as he pleased and stay in an empty home that I had evicted him from 4 months earlier. The police said they couldn't do anything unless I was there when he was there and I called the police and John stayed in the house until they got there. Whatever! As if that would happen. My friend who I'd been seeing told me to just let him take care of it. My friend is 6'4" and 270 pounds. My son is 5'6" and 120. So, my friend finds John in the house asleep at 6am. He goes on to tell John just what a piece of crap he is, what a sorry father he is as he isn't even working or feeding his own children, and how he is not going to stay in this house and continue to harass his momma. He also is carrying a 44 pistol, which he has to carry for his job. My son jumps up and sucker punches him and runs away. My friend, who has the eviction notice for my son in his hand, calls the police and files a report for assault and battery. I honestly do not believe he will be coming back. Inspection is in the morning. All I can say is there is a God and He is good all of the time!
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: February 12, 2023, 5:39 PM
Hi !
Congrats! Sounds like you are making progress. Number one, is to stay safe and put some distance between you and your children. Try not to be hurt by your daughters request to not talk to you for a while. I had similar conversations with my daughters. I thought I could vent a little, or talk thru a situation, but it was too much for them. And I have to remember they are my kids, not able to have an adult unbiased, problem solving conversation with parents about family problems. I did find a therapist that helped for a while, as needed. Good Luck! Keep it going! | ||
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