Do They Ever Come Back?
Posted: June 20, 2020, 11:49 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: June 20, 2020

My daughter is 38 now and been using meth since she was about 15 I guess. Her own daughter who is now 15 wants nothing to do with her mother after living with this disease for so long and 3 CPS cases. I have not spoken to my daughter for nearly 4 yrs. She moves in and out of shelters. Homeless much of the time. Working as a prostitute sometimes. I hear her gambling problem is just as bad as the meth. When she last wrote me she sounds like she has changed into someone I do not know. That was 6 months ago. She wanted to argue with me about her "right" to drink and use pot. She rejects any thought of recovery. It's like I'm watching her die, but it's a slow death. Do they ever come back when it get's like this? I guess I'm just about out of hope. Thanks for listening,
Posted: June 21, 2020, 5:31 PM

Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019

Welcome Northapt and I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. You ask a really good question and one I've asked myself about my daughter. She's 27 and has been doing drugs since she was 15.

I think the longer they use the more it changes their brain. I think it's possible, however, they want to have to change their life and work their sobriety. I always have hope she will come around.

Its hard to watch and it's very frustrating too. I hope your daughter will come around too.
Posted: June 24, 2020, 4:12 PM

Posts: 332
Joined: December 23, 2018

Welcome to Families & Partners - a group I wish on no one but I'm glad y'all are here for me. Please feel free to vent, cry, express your anger & disappointment here. We will be here for you, we will no judge you or condemn you as we have all walked in your shoes one way or another.

My son is mid 40's, used since his teens also. Has lost everything (relationships, home/housing, jobs, etc.) several times. Right now he IS working on his sobriety & is working again. So he has goals & future dreams. We are still on the tight rope & our heart jumps when he calls because we know he is always one bad decision from falling into his hole again.

But yes, they CAN come back but they have to choose to do so. No amount of love, anger, help, withdrawal, etc. will make the decision for them.

This post has been edited by mtnmom on June 24, 2020, 4:15 PM
Posted: June 25, 2020, 9:50 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: June 20, 2020

I didn't hear from her on father's day again. This is year 3 I think. maybe 4. I know she's alive because I can see her online activity on Facebook even though we are not "friends." My crime? I guess no longer giving her money? I'm not sure because she won't say. Sometimes I check the Tacoma jail roster looking for signs of life. I wish she'd turn it around but it's like she has become someone else. I don't know if she has a phone or if she is homeless again. I don't know much. She used to be the best person I ever met.Now she is just mean and angry. Thank you both for your comments.
Posted: June 26, 2020, 7:41 PM

Posts: 1750
Joined: June 27, 2016

Hello North,
Thank you for sharing. It helps to hear that we are not alone. My son is still at the 'harassing for money' stage and saying he is OK and does not need help. I have recently had the thoughts that I don't know him anymore. He has been out of the house for more than a year. He was starting to do OK, but recently took a wrong turn off the path of recovery.
Be Well.
Posted: June 28, 2020, 10:19 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: June 20, 2020

Ironically, I just heard from her. An IM on FB messenger. First time in 6-weeks. She mentioned her "house caught fire." She said they same thing 6 weeks ago.It's so sad. I think meth is the worst drug ever created. It turns people into someone else. Someone you don't recognize.
Posted: August 21, 2020, 9:10 AM

Posts: 43
Joined: May 13, 2007

My son gets better when he is on the heroin wagon, but then he falls off I don't know who he is. There has been years where I literally wonder what ever happened to my son. I hope he is still surviving somewhere down under. It would be nice to see him again. I would recognize him, but it would definitely be like seeing a long, lost friend.
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