What's A Holiday Without A Drunk's Explosion
Posted: December 26, 2019, 10:45 PM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



What's a holiday without an alkie's temper tantrum.

Almost had a complete low key holiday then at the last minute the drunk's gf wants to go out to dinner. Oh please come(she was kissing my butt because she is trying to sway family business involving her alkie bf). So like an idiot taking initiative again to keep the peace I agree and they know my preferences aren't what they want. Well comes time to leave, the drunk is undecided and they are like 2 teenagers 'I don't know what do you want to do'. So last minute with his gf waiting for a decision he decides to cook in, goes to a 24/7 store and comes back screaming including complaining about the way I pulled stuff out to cook, he complained about his gf complaining they didn't go out and complains about family business dealings/decisions. All in about 1 minute outside for the neighborhood to hear. He calmed down a little but even his gf had a look on her face and she's his biggest enabler and is always trying to ingratiate herself with people which is an issue all by itself.

Wakes up today in not a great mood. He has some injury problem but as usual he desires instant gratification for healing and pain relief so now he's on pain killers and corticosteriods mixed with alcohol. Boom over small stuff again. Now he wants to be alone/I dare you to look at me.GF not with him today. I'm staying away. He'll just have to 'cook' or 'stew' on his own for a day or two.

  Top
Posted: December 27, 2019, 6:36 PM


Posts: 254
Joined: December 23, 2018



awwww Samegame - so close but they just can't let it be. (side question - who is the Alkie? Your son, ex-husband? I'm confused...)
  Top
Posted: December 27, 2019, 9:13 PM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



For anonymity sake it's family. The gf in particular is a social media hound and she reports everything to the alkie like it's her job(actually just trying try ingratiate herself). She is a Matahari to say the least literally reporting 'stuff' or comments with in minutes.

That being said one would figure an alkie would wind up sleeping half the time but it's like they are constantly looking for entertainment. Yet they do very lazy things.



This post has been edited by samegame on December 27, 2019, 9:14 PM
  Top
Posted: December 28, 2019, 5:48 AM


Posts: 123
Joined: November 10, 2019



Always drama with this turkey....what a bummer. Do you live with him? I'm thinking you do
  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 10:41 AM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



Wind up living with him part-time. There's some family issues to be taken care of after that he's out of my and other's life. It's all about others moving and/or moving on at this point.

He is really having a hard time with people moving, moving on with their lives. He wants his to remain the same forever. He has lived his life off others in more ways than one. He can't stand loosing crash pads, free rides so he can lead the life of a bar hopping drunk. It's all about his recreational activity(drinking). And enabling gf is now in on the act complaining people are moving too far away.

Then he has gall to complain about others at another holiday function he attended(to deflect) yet he's the one with more severe issues (over a year unemployed mooching for starters). But he got upset because people questioned him about issues like that. What does he think the issue of whiskey or pot quality is the only thing on people's minds I wish I would've been there to see the look on his because he was obviously rattled. He's a half century old adult acting like a high school graduate wondering what they're going to do. Even other half century old adults have learned you have to work and not wonder-that really caught him off guard.

The thing is now his gf tries to manage & enable him. She'll work him, you and the room. Always trying to ingratiate herself with others. Right now they're up to something. Both always work an angle and sometimes each other. They're blatant and shallow but you still have to deal with them. And the gf will sometimes run to tell what others have said but even worse she frequently misses detail, context etc. But his bar stool buddies enable and put alot of crap in his head along with validating his ideas. This is one reason I might post on the culture and not just the chemical because who voluntarily partake tend to act and think the same way forming their culture.



  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 11:51 AM


Posts: 123
Joined: November 10, 2019



Samegame why hasn't the family let him crash. If he's not working he can't pay rent or food so why are people still supporting him?? Has he ever been homeless or gone to food pantries? It doesn't sound like he's held accountable for his behaviors and poor choices, addiction or not. For most people life isn't a free ride.

  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 12:14 PM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



Sallyanna you are so right as usual.

Problem is parents and senior relatives enabled him and tolerated excessive drinking. They even questioned or were stunned by how much he drinks but never did anything. So this makes it tougher for others when the patriarchs of the family won't do anything. Along with tolerating the drinking the parent didn't set enough boundaries even on the simple stuff like be neat and clean. Throw in the fact he considers himself a jet setter and hangs out with the rich or professional managers/owners that drink and party he doesn't see it as being detrimental.

Part of the problem now he see's his free ride coming to an end in more ways than one. It's about to get very legal. And again his enabling gf and bar stool buddies. Almost all of them have suffered the consequences and they've groomed him to think they are part of the game. He's a grown man and all this just validates his own decision making in the end.
  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 12:46 PM


Posts: 123
Joined: November 10, 2019



It's a really dysfunctional family dynamic which has been going on for a long time....he's 50 years old. Is anyone in the family the truth teller who can burst their denial and delusional bubble? It's not a popular position to be in and they may be punished for it. It would be really hard for me to 'go along' with the delusion. Are the parents addicted to alcohol too?
  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 3:57 PM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



The parents weren't addicted to alcohol mostly drinking on occasion or holiday. The problem was with distant relatives who would host holiday meals/parties. But even grand parents, aunts, uncles were much more functional and didn't drink heavier until their retirement. The did tolerate drinking to say the least. Some of cousins who only saw only holidays wound up having some issues but lived far away.

To me people who were role models had just as much influence as the parents. He was always a executive want to be so kissed butt with partying and drinking management. His mentor in a weekend warrior league was meeting him in bars decades ago. So when a 45 year old man invites/meets a 25 year old to hang out in bars the younger person sees that has acceptable behavior. That same mentor lost a child to drug addiction but when a parent is hanging out in bars instead of being with their young child this is the sort of poop that happens. He's had gfs and buddies whose child flunked high school which is pretty hard to do now a days. But this is another example of the culture he's been hanging out in. Again though he voluntarily chose this life and his friends.

This post has been edited by samegame on December 29, 2019, 3:58 PM
  Top
Posted: December 29, 2019, 5:49 PM


Posts: 123
Joined: November 10, 2019



It sounds to me he has a lot of support for his addiction. He doesn't have to work because someone else is providing food and shelter. He's obviously been getting money to pursue his drinking because one can't drink for free. And until all that ends, the delusion lives on....
  Top
Posted: December 30, 2019, 11:52 AM


Posts: 224
Joined: December 21, 2018



The support for his addiction comes from those who over drink alot themselves at this point. Even his gf replenished his whisky stock. And validation from his peer group who he values more than family or sober friends keep him going. His choice. His consequences to suffer.

But again I don't get why shame doesn't kick in. I would be ashamed to have people drive me around like they're my soccer mom. At least pay for a taxi or go with a designated driver. Oooops not to likely in his circles. But still to be carted around like a child or even asked to be driven around. I'd be ashamed to act like career professional yet unemployed half the time. He's only had one fulltime benefit paying job for a couple of years over the last decade. His life/image is so contrived at this point to me I'd feel like a fugitive on the run but to him he's a grifter in action.
  top of page  Top