Auto Loan
Posted: May 5, 2019, 8:37 PM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Any thoughts out there on this... co-signed on auto loan for 27 year old son 1 year ago, after he had remained clean for 3 years... relapsed recently and loan is now in default. (60 days)

Probably driving uninsured also.

For the first time in my life, I have a red flag against my credit...
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Posted: May 5, 2019, 9:03 PM


Posts: 176
Joined: December 23, 2018



Yes, it will hurt your credit but if you have otherwise good credit it's not DEVASTATING.... We made the same mistake probably 25 years ago. Within 1 month of co-signing, son was fired from job & defaulted on all payments. We paid for about a year & then we insisted he sell it. A couple of years later we bought a new house & that was the ONLY problem on our credit & we had to write a letter of explanation. I think it helped because that we sold the car
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Posted: May 5, 2019, 9:59 PM


Posts: 181
Joined: July 6, 2018



I hope you can get thef car from him and sell it. Besides the hit to your credit what happens if he wrecks it and injured someone. You could be responsible for anything that happens.
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Posted: May 5, 2019, 10:28 PM


Posts: 1537
Joined: June 27, 2016



I made that mistake several years ago. Won’t do t again. Our son wrecked the last car. We are not replacing it. He is not clean. After 6 yrs of helping, we have hit bottom. Kicked him out. It is a sad place to be at. you did a good deed for a good reason. Sorry he didn’t stay clean. Selling the car is only thing I can think of, or pay the loan off. They force us to make tough decisions.
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Posted: May 5, 2019, 10:59 PM


Posts: 424
Joined: November 9, 2018



Does he still have the car? I would take it out of his possession. He defaulted on the agreement so he shouldn't have the car in my opinion.
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 2:03 AM


Posts: 154
Joined: December 21, 2018



You not the only one to get the nasty of that stick.

Saw a senior parent basically do something worse. They put the car in their name with the addict/alkie as the co signer. It took them a while to accept the gravity of their actions and paid for it because on the insurance especially they fronted the money on payments frequently never being reimbursed. This on top of an unpaid $25,000 loan with interest that wrecked their finances forever. They're fear was with no car their adult addict child wouldn't make it. The adult alkie/addict 'made it' but the drinking is worse. They still want to be carted around like a child by their soccer mom to avoid another drunk driving arrest-for now.

The alkie/addict must understand their are consequences to be paid for their choices. Especially choosing a behavior that others must experience with them over time. Consequences are cumulative. Anything done for the addict could be considered enabling because that's more time and resources for the alkie's/addicts habit.

I understand they were clean but apparently not self sufficient or able to accept the consequences of their previous choices-difficulty getting a car with lousy credit due to drinking or drugging is one of those consequences.
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 8:30 AM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Thank you all for your thoughts, comments. I don't feel nearly as alone! :)

Yesterday, I took control of the online account. For 1 year he faithfully made payments on time, usually early. I had no access to the account nor did I want any. This was a means of helping building his credit up.

Well... he was livid when he couldn't get into the account anymore!!! Now, he cannot "soft soap" the loan company with false promises, lies and fake deadlines.

I AM THE NEW LOAN COMPANY! :) AND HE IS NOT HAPPY! lol

Do I take possession of the car or let the professionals do it (in 30 days when it's 90 days overdue). That's what I'm wrestling with now. If I go get it, I have the added expense of storing it or "hiding" it somewhere so he can't come and get it. Next question: Are there fees involved if I gain control of the car after it's been reposessed?

After 11 years on this journey, one of the hardest things for me to endure is the constant lying. Addicts are master manipulators. But you all know that. Thanks and I feel I have a life line with this site!
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 9:02 AM


Posts: 424
Joined: November 9, 2018



I'm not sure if this would work. Could you make the delinquent payments then sell the car? This way it's not repossessed. I'm not really sure though. Does he still have a job?
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 9:20 AM


Posts: 373
Joined: October 25, 2016



I think taking control is a good idea. Would be even better if you took it back. Do you have a key? Might consult with police to see if you can legally go drive it away. They might even send an escort to avoid trouble. You could also talk directly to the loan people to see what the fees would be if it is repossessed. Chances are you couldn’t get it back at that point. Maybe they have other ideas that don’t involve repossessing it. I was always too afraid to be on any loan my son had or to have my name on his car title to avoid liability in case he killed somebody in it. We did buy him quite a few cash cars that he destroyed and paid many a car payment for loans he was able to get. All those many cars are gone. Should have learned earlier but there was always a story and a need. He needed a car to get his life together but he never used it for that purpose. I am sorry you are in a pickle. May be no good way out but might be able to minimize the damage to you somehow. Might be better to just let it go or you will be in the middle forever. Your son will keep pestering you to get the car if you have it and you will be stuck with the payments and insurance. Do not repeat in the future.

This post has been edited by BugginMe on May 6, 2019, 9:22 AM

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BUGS
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 10:03 AM


Posts: 311
Joined: November 16, 2017



Hi,

Oh my, no, you are not alone. We are all on this very disheartening journey.

You have done the right thing. And, as others have said, try to get the car back.

I wonder since you have had amazing credit, if the company would remove the hit to your credit if you make the back payments or something. You might check into some options.

Keep posting. Most likely anything you have experienced, one of us has!!
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 11:58 AM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Thanks everybody! Yes, he is working full time. (I thought a loan company could garnish your wages once a loan is in collections?)

Yes, 2 keys to the vehicle and I have one. Whoever suggested police escort - good idea.

I'll keep posting and when I'm not in crisis mode maybe I can help somebody else! :)
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Posted: May 6, 2019, 12:40 PM


Posts: 154
Joined: December 21, 2018



The car will probably be repossessed before wages are garnished. As cosigner you would have to start paying the bills. Unlike a others types of loans you wont' get dozens of phone calls a day reminding you to pay it will just be a few calls and nasty legal letters. Then a tow truck.

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Posted: May 7, 2019, 12:11 AM


Posts: 1537
Joined: June 27, 2016



If it is worth the headache to be the ‘loan company’, you can let him have the car for 30 days when he makes a payment to you, and u need to see proof of insurance payment each month. Is he clean, is there a chance he is driving while impaired?

It is tough to take the car away when they are using it for work. Catch 22 for us. You don’t want to be the ‘car’ police. But u will end up ‘paying’ one way or another.



Another thought: maybe your son can refinance the loan without your cosign, or take a personal loan without your cosign to pay off the car loan.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on May 8, 2019, 8:05 PM
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Posted: May 14, 2019, 2:05 PM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



For those who posted thank you! Today has been a good day as my son finally paid the auto loan up to date - $500.00. I can breathe a little bit, for now anyway. Next payment due June 9th, so we'll see. I did learn the car was not registered so I paid that (for my peace of mind) but I fully expect payment from him for the $44.00.

Learned that the car has been insured also so that was an added bonus. Once the dust settles (does that ever truly happen?) I will explore options with him regarding him refinancing with another company and getting my name off the loan. Live and learn...

I also remain the only person with access to the Loan Company Website so I can monitor moving forward if he defaults again. I'm hopeful he doesn't but you all know how that goes.

Thanks!
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Posted: May 16, 2019, 10:56 AM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Had a 2 1/2 visit with my son yesterday. We reconnected and had great dialogue regarding the Auto Loan. Hopeful for a brighter future! Yesterday I was a thankful Mom. He looks great and I saw NO signs of anything that would be concerning to me. We always keep our guards up though, don't we. Thank You All...
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Posted: May 16, 2019, 10:42 PM


Posts: 424
Joined: November 9, 2018



Great news Anauj. Sounds like he is doing much better. Maybe he had a slip but not a full blown relapse. Thank you for the update.
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Posted: May 22, 2019, 3:03 AM


Posts: 311
Joined: November 16, 2017



I am glad to hear that! We have to celebrate each positive moment!!
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Posted: May 23, 2019, 12:05 AM


Posts: 176
Joined: December 23, 2018



YAY!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!
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Posted: May 23, 2019, 9:29 AM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Thanks for your kind words. I agree... we do have to celebrate every single POSITIVE moment... I love this site but haven't had a ton of time lately to check it out.
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Posted: May 27, 2019, 6:37 PM


Posts: 32
Joined: May 5, 2019



Not out of the woods yet which is always the case with addiction. Yesterday I ran into my son's roommate driving MY car. I was blown away! We talked for a long time and I told him he needs to be very careful because I'm not sure it's insured. When I asked my son if he got car insurance yet, he didn't respond. My son is working full time and a ton of overtime - bringing home nice paychecks. Roommate actually referred to it as "our car" and stated he gives my son $100 gas money per week. They both drive it! I made it VERY CLEAR - "That is MY car" that you're driving. What are the odds of me running into this guy? But on the plus side, he gave me a TON of information on my son - most of which is pretty good but a few red flags. No need to respond. I'm just crawling out of my skin today. Widowed for 2 years and holidays are tough.
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