Never Willing To Relocate For Work. Never Matured?
Posted: March 31, 2019, 4:16 PM


Posts: 177
Joined: December 21, 2018



Something pointed out about the alkie here is that he was never or is not willing to relocate for work or to get a job. He's had several periods in his life unemployed working under the table jobs 'waiting' for the perfect local gig. He wants it all-title, location and hours. He wants a gig, not a job or career as he professes. But is someone who has never or is not willing to relocate for a job or school not 'grown up' or mature yet.

Before he got laid off many years ago he was offered other jobs in the company in different states one less 200 miles away and he refused saying he didn't want to leave his friends and life here.(Well those friends didn't keep him out of bankruptcy or get him a career job). And management uses willing to relocate as an indicator of how career minded a person is. He was unofficially offered a promotion with travel and relocation several years ago. He wouldn't follow up and found a medical excuse. His comfort zone is extremely limited.Ironically he still feels his missed out by not going off to live on a college campus after high school. But this is a person who considers themselves a professional white collar worker but he waits for the perfect gig, not career opportunity. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't constantly complain.

But again is a person not willing to relocate or even change their routine for work/career a sign of someone that has never fully grown up. Especially if they have high salary demands/needs.

This post has been edited by samegame on March 31, 2019, 4:19 PM
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Posted: March 31, 2019, 6:00 PM


Posts: 451
Joined: November 9, 2018



His emotional age sounds pretty young to me. If he has narcissistic personality disorder (I don't know if he does) they have the emotional maturity of a 3-5 year old. He seems entitled, lazy, and very immature to me. Who supports him if he's not working and is waiting for the 'perfect gig' at 50 years old?
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Posted: April 1, 2019, 10:34 AM


Posts: 177
Joined: December 21, 2018



You have him accurately figured out as far as maturity. Not only is it his behavior but he frequently talks like child trying to act/talk like an adult. Since his image is contrived as-is pretending to be an adult is part of the act.

They say when one starts drinking and drugging with regularity is when maturity stops. He got caught drinking underage several times.

What puzzles me to this day is that his high school friends who were at times worse than he moved on literally and figuratively. They got degrees, good jobs and followed the work. Most of them have advanced in the professions & companies. He got frustrated when friend decided to accept a promotion and couldn't participate in their weekend warrior league or hang out. But this is why he hangs out with kids half his age now. It gives him status as the senior and has peers at his level

But back to original post. He has never literally or figuratively moved.
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Posted: April 1, 2019, 8:50 PM


Posts: 451
Joined: November 9, 2018



He may have Peter Pan Syndrome? Does he still live at home?
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Posted: April 1, 2019, 10:24 PM


Posts: 182
Joined: December 23, 2018



Samegame, I definitely see similarities between our sons. Mine, unfortunately is 45 & every time he talks (I mean whines) about his addiction the years get longer.... today he said he's been an addict for 30 years...
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Posted: April 2, 2019, 10:43 PM


Posts: 177
Joined: December 21, 2018



I tried to tell others in the family that age and time don't change an addict for the most part. Especially one who has drank or drugged their entire adult life. If they're complaining about their addiction even they haven't changed squat that could or might be an opening to suggest or nudge towards rehab. OR they assume acknowledging their habits/behavior aren't good earns them some points(a form of butt kissing or virtue signaling)
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