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Posted: February 15, 2019, 12:31 PM
Do addicts and alcoholics confuse personal disappointment & failure with the stress/pressure those experience with much much more at stake .
I've noticed over the years that the alkie/addict that they frequently talk about the stress they are under yet they don't have children, a house, mortgage or even a career at stake. They don't have a four year degree, certifications, licenses etc yet they continue to play the victim with anything from job/career or their life in general. Yet they are ones that partied and spent themselves into financial ruin or chose going to bar instead of night school or working a second job. They seem to confuse their personal disappointments & failures with those who really are under stress trying to keep a roof and clothes on their family, pay their bills on their own and on time, live life with practical and attainable goals-not dreams &fantasy. I'm tired of alkies and addicts stories of whoa which seems to be nothing more than not achieving a high or personal dream with those struggling to eat, get medical care, find shelter, survive and rebuild from a catastrophic event or a true victim of abuse, crime etc. Copings skills frequently come up with addiction. Most addicts and alkies don't seem to cope or deal with the normal ups and downs most experience and endure without substance abuse. Nor have many experienced many of the events others have. Some yes but many no. One thing that should be stressed with addicts and alkies is perspective. Even if they had a serious traumatic event that triggered them they need to be reminded they are alive and still have a chance. And most go through life working to pay bills on time and live with in their means. They learn to live life practically, not what could be or what they think should be. It also should be emphasized the ends do not justify the means. But when I hear single adult addicts/alkies complain about their self inflicted problems and their dreams compare their problems to those in much more dire circumstances I lose much sympathy and empathy. They need perspective and it should be pointed out they are confusing disappointment and personal failure with those in much more dire circumstances that were not under their control. Perspective This post has been edited by samegame on February 15, 2019, 12:55 PM | ||
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Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: February 15, 2019, 9:34 PM
Samegame your posts really make me think. I think they play the victim card (I know my daughter does). Responsible people know right from wrong and if they need help they go get it. In general, they choose what they want and what they know or what they know they can get away with. The key for me is to not play along. I want to be responsible and do the right thing.
This post has been edited by Sallyanna on February 15, 2019, 9:35 PM | ||
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Posted: February 16, 2019, 12:06 PM
-they know who they can get with certain things-
A no answer here means you ask there. Also mean others are buying their story which means others are naive or the addict has been working them-their version only. I see that going on here. The alkie is working relatives and friends bigtime. If you don't validate his drinking and lifestyle your on an enemies list. Throw in what ever lies, half truths or biased opinions the alkie is pushing it can and will cause friction between people & relationships that should be dull and perfunctory. Since the alkie goes off like a bomb when trying to discuss many a topic you carefully say as little as possible, get right to the point. The alkie claims he's being shut out of the family period which he is not. He wonders why things aren't a Leave It To Bear ideal family relationship-"This family blah blah...." Also from first hand experience certain responsibilities you simply can't give to or trust them with, especially if it involves money. This post has been edited by samegame on February 16, 2019, 12:06 PM | ||
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