Endocarditis
shubb
Posted: October 10, 2018, 9:03 AM







33 yr old son- wks in hospital for endocarditis- staph infectin in heart from dirty needle! . its a blood infections, so 2 wks in Icu, kidneys failed, on dialysis,ventolator,embolisms in lungs, coded out once, the works. finally get him thru 8 wks of anitbiotics, and gets released. 8 wks sober. runs back to his house to clean,get it ready to lease so he can move away. first time i give him his check, less bills i paid, of course , even with suboxone and lasix hes still taking, due to contiuing edema- stomach and legs swollen..i can tell hes using again. dissapears for a week at a time at his house with no food or anything there. i told him after hospital ,wanted him go to inpatient rehab. the hospital actually setup out patient rehab for him before he left. he would never make the appts to start. so, promises of course, but nope. never went. quit suboxone, and lasix. im done. im stuck in middle as payee on his ssdi benefits. takes a letter from a dr to say he can manage his own money, or reassign to another person. he doesnt have anyone else. no friends to trust, only drug contacts now. im done. no more cash, no more anything. if he doesnt go to inpatient rehab at least, i dont want to hear from him again. ever. ive got find a way for ssdi drop me as payee. i am not going to be his mother any longer. i cant do it. im chronically ill, in pain, cant take the stress. i have to walk away for good until he prove hes clean, but even then i dont think ill ever believe it. im so done being used and lied to. God should have taken him in the hospital. all that hard work for nothing. hell never have normal life, or happy one. he doesnt care . i dont either anymore. im worn out, i dont wanna know what happens next time. hell die of infection or Od. i dont want to know. Im moving, so is he he says. good. lose my number, im blocking his. even a mother can only take so much. 15 yrs of drugs and lies and money and drama. no more. he wont help himself, netiher will I.
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Posted: October 10, 2018, 11:36 AM


Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016



Been there and done all that! I now have a 47 year old son still addicted and still always needy and contacting us for bail outs! We had to disconnect completely in order for us to survive.

You need to let go and let him "hit bottom" (although it sounds like he can't go much lower). Sadly it will either work and he will decide enough or he will OD continuing on the same path.

Difficult as parents to do, but so necessary or they will take us down with them!

Lori
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Posted: October 14, 2018, 7:35 PM


Posts: 276
Joined: November 16, 2017



Wow, he has gone so far down. I don't blame you for needing to get space from that chaos.

Please take care of yourself and don't blame yourself. You need to get away and find peace for yourself.

Hugs,
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Posted: November 11, 2018, 9:56 PM


Posts: 382
Joined: November 9, 2018



Shinn so sorry for all you've been through. You've done the best you could do and more. I totally understand why you are done....I'm done too this sh#t gets really old after a while. Like another person stated never give more than they do. If their doing nothing give nothing. It becomes a bottomless pit if they don't take any steps in the right direction.
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