The News
Posted: October 2, 2018, 8:02 AM

Posts: 24
Joined: March 28, 2018

Does anyone else see a news article and think to themself that I could be your child? With the limited knowledge I have of stepdaughters whereabouts and doings, I see something in the news and wonder if it was her. 

For example, the police locally are looking for a vehicle that was involved in an incident.  They have a general make and model.  When they showed the SUV type in the news my thoughts went to what SD drives.  Now, it's not the same make and model but it's close enough to be mistaken as one and again, it's a general type. 

In reality, there is absolutely no reason I should think it's her.  But i can't help but wonder.

Am I alone in this or is my anxiety searching for any sign of the chaos returning?

I battled my own addiction only to be buried by another's...
Posted: October 2, 2018, 7:03 PM

Posts: 1443
Joined: June 27, 2016

you are not alone. my husband hears sirens or hears of an accident on his pager (volunteer fire fighter) and calls our son to be sure it isn't him. when I am driving I look at all the cars to see if I see him. it is automatic.
Posted: October 3, 2018, 8:06 AM

Posts: 256
Joined: November 16, 2017

Same here. Every time I hear police sirens or see an officer in our neighborhood, I wonder if they are after him/coming to tell me bad news. I think it is a form of PTSD. The trauma of going through it once (or more), just keeps haunting you. I used to even wait in some way for see if they show up. At least I am past that part.

And, yes, every crime stopper report, I zoom in to see if it could be him. This is lessening a little also. It helps that he is over 18 and it helps to read these boards and push responsibility back to him.

I actually can't stand to even see police officers, at this point. My son is to blame, but they have been so undereducated and made the situations worse. I realize at some point I need to address this, but for now, I just try to avoid even looking at them. As soon as possible (3-5 years) I have a plan to totally leave this town and never look back. I am ready to start fresh!

This post has been edited by Parenting2 on October 3, 2018, 8:08 AM
Posted: October 3, 2018, 10:03 AM

Posts: 370
Joined: October 25, 2016

Parental PTSD is real. I don’t like for people to come to my door or for my phone to ring. I actually turned off the ringer. I am always worrying about what could happen next. My son can be so out of control and demanding. Police officers on my street are always a concern but I don’t know what I would have done without them. The ones I have met were all really good and caring people. They have defused many situations. I am most afraid of someone finding my son dead somewhere. I search the jails to see if he is there so I know he is alive and eating. I am supposed to be letting it all go but it is very hard to forget the past or think about the future. I try to just get through one day at a time.

This post has been edited by BugginMe on October 3, 2018, 10:05 AM

Posted: October 3, 2018, 2:05 PM

Posts: 8
Joined: April 1, 2018

Bless all your hearts! I don't post often but read many of the posts. Everything you express, your fears, anxiety, pain, your hopelessness and grief are what so many of us are going through. We aren't alone and there are to many of us.
So many times I hear a car door, sirens, see something on TV or the news and go through the same fear and anguish you all are going through. Night is the worse for me. Reading these posts encourages me that I am doing the right thing by my son.
God bless you all!
Posted: October 4, 2018, 12:22 AM

Posts: 1443
Joined: June 27, 2016

just a few days ago the doorbell rang. the first thing I did was look out the window for a police car. It was one of son's friends.

my husband and I are on the 3-5 year plan. In the past few years I have been getting rid of stuff out of the basement. still have more to go. We buy as little as possible. and look at everything thru the filter of " Is that something I would bring with me" If the answer is no - then I get rid of it or don't bring it home.

I waffle between trying to do things for me - try to be happy, and in becoming isolated. It is a daily struggle no matter how you try to forget, addiction is still there popping into the thoughts and actions.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on October 4, 2018, 12:35 AM
Posted: October 14, 2018, 7:51 PM

Posts: 256
Joined: November 16, 2017

It does help that we are not alone. I sit at night, hearing sirens (like, 15 minutes ago, here!). And, it is really hard. But, knowing other people are trying to make their way through this maze really helps. I do appreciate this message board. I remember, almost 2 years ago to the day, is when my world totally collapsed. I was desperate, emotional wreck when I found this place. It literally saved my sanity.
Posted: October 15, 2018, 4:29 PM

Posts: 171
Joined: July 6, 2018

I Always assume I know the local offender,if its not my kid probably an associate. I work in the local ED,every time an overdose comes in ,I assume its going to be someone I know.
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