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Posted: September 30, 2018, 7:47 AM
My daughter passed away two nights ago. Accidental overdose. She was in treatment, and that's where she was introduced to heroin. We are devastated, but in a strange way relieved. My daughter told me after she tried heroin, she didn't believe she could ever be clean. She told me she wished she never tried it in the first place. She believed her life was "doomed." This last time in treatment, she was sixty days clean. The joy she had was a beautiful thing to behold. She was participating in activities, being social, and just loving life. It baffles me how the addict can feel so liberated only to go back to the drug that makes them feel so miserable and helpless.
My daughter was my pride and joy. I watched as her addiction progressed, and there was nothing I could do about it. I supported her as she went through treatment, and when she relapsed, I encouraged her to get right back up and continue her quest for sobriety. For a father, it hits very hard and deep when you can't do anything to save your daughter. I find solace in the fact that she knew without a doubt her father loved her with all his heart. I don't know if I'll be back to the forum, but I wanted to thank you for your support. I joined just last March. She had not tried heroin at that point. That's how quickly the opiates take over. Now, my daughter has become one of the many in the long line of statistics and the broken hearted. I'll never be the same. Thanks again to all. | ||
Posted: September 30, 2018, 8:56 AM
My heart breaks for you. We are living our worse nightmare with our love ones addictions and this just reminds us that it can get even worse as we prayed for it to get better.
I am so sorry for you and your family. :( -------------------- Rahne I battled my own addiction only to be buried by another's... | ||
Posted: September 30, 2018, 10:33 AM
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. It is a call that crosses my mind daily. Know that her true self is the one you saw when she was clean. you would do anything to have her back. she is at peace now. it is heartbreaking. thoughts and prayers for you. she knows her family loved her as much as she loved her family.
This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on September 30, 2018, 10:36 AM | ||
Posted: September 30, 2018, 11:17 AM
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Posted: September 30, 2018, 10:26 PM
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you do check back to see our messages. Each of us has lived with that fear and I am sorry your worst fears were realized. I wish you peace and comfort.
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Posted: October 1, 2018, 3:45 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your loss!. This is a call everyone of us in this chat room are fearing that we will get. I will pray for you and yours. God will get you through this. We are all grieving for the person that they were. Now you are grieving for who they were and what this addiction did to them.
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Posted: October 1, 2018, 6:28 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter to heroin 5 years ago. It is such an evil drug. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Posted: October 1, 2018, 10:46 PM
I am so sorry! I know it is a deep unfathonable loss. Come back to the forum if you ever need to talk.
-------------------- BUGS | ||
Posted: October 5, 2018, 7:44 PM
So sad to hear this! My prayers and thoughts are with you. My son is a meth addict and he is 47. I don't think he will ever escape his demons and will die an addict. Hardest part as a parent is not being able to fix him and always wondering when we will get a call saying they have od'd.
Please know that we all care and understand! Lori | ||
Posted: October 6, 2018, 8:00 PM
I'm so sorry. There is nothing else to say, we are all helpless when it comes to our kids addictions. You got the call many of us expect to receive one day.
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Posted: October 7, 2018, 6:38 AM
Geez my heart goes out to you.! Please keep coming back here. You can help other parents in need of advice and you can help the addicts like me with the advice that we so desperately need. Don't stop coming here. Just come to share and help. Even if it could help just one person.! Someone else's daughter or son. My prayers are with you tonight ! I'm sorry.!
-------------------- IT ONLY GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.! | ||
Posted: October 7, 2018, 4:07 PM
I am so very sorry. Please believe me when i say there was nothing more you could have done. I have been trying to help my son get clean from various drugs for 10 years without success and nothing has worked. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
This post has been edited by Jet0912 on October 7, 2018, 4:10 PM | ||
Posted: October 7, 2018, 10:25 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, no one can truly understand the pain you are going through unless they have been through this experience themselves. You did the best you could, we are all doing the best we can. Unfortunately, you can't save anyone unless they want to save themselves.
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Posted: October 7, 2018, 10:41 PM
We are burying her tomorrow. I went today to see her in the casket and have time alone just to talk to her one last time. Her young still body lay there, cold as I touched her hand, cold as I kissed her forehead. All the memories came rushing back. Strangely, I recalled she had no passion for anything. I introduced her to sports, piano, art, and every other activity i could think of as she was growing up. I recall she was about thirteen when the eyes changed, when nothing was going to bring her passion other than drugs.
Studies have shown that if we don't have dreams and a passion for something, then we don't have purpose. No matter what I tried to show my daughter, she could not find purpose in her life. It was the most frustrating thing for me. A man who has gone very far in school and has built a large company could not invent some attraction for his struggling daughter. I wonder if any of you have noticed your addicts have not passion for some thing, a way for them to feel purpose. It was agonizing watching my daughter struggle just to get by every day. Nothing gave her joy other than using drugs. It was sad. Just an observation that really hit me hard today as I stood at that casket all by myself looking into her motionless face. Is there any way to get an addict to find purpose? Think of me tomorrow as I say goodbye to my only child at noon tomorrow. I never saw this coming, and I'm sure many of you didn't either. I've never done something more difficult in my life. I'm burying at least half of me with her tomorrow. | ||
Posted: October 8, 2018, 3:16 AM
Hi I'm actually new to this site, but have been following for a couple of years,so sorry to hear of your loss, just cannot imagine what you are going through, my son is in so called recovery, I don't think he is doing to good, I really think you have it right there about a purpose in life, we want so much for them, but they will only give what they want, I will be thinking about you tomorrow will be a really hard day for you
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Posted: October 8, 2018, 5:54 AM
Jointheclub
I don't know if the loving thoughts and prayers of total strangers can bring any crumb of comfort to you during this tragic and heartbreaking time....but just on the off chance they can...I offer that to you...I will pray for you and reach out to you in thought with compassion and love. Idgie -------------------- Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27 May the Force be with you. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should just get used to the idea....Robert Heinlein. You can spend the next 24 hours reaching your true potential or sliding down into your own particular hell. the choice is always yours. | ||
Posted: October 8, 2018, 1:19 PM
Praying for you!.
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Posted: October 8, 2018, 2:11 PM
Jointheclub,
We are holding you and your family in our hearts. This disease is heartbreaking. Warmly, The Moderators | ||
Posted: October 8, 2018, 5:32 PM
This awful drug displaces everything in an adicts life. Nothing can compete. I cry for the times i once spent with my son when he was growing up flying rc planes, going fishing, going out for the day or even just watching 'Malcolm in the middle' together but as an adult, drugs have taken everything. He has no interest for living a conventional life and as a father watching him waste away on the streets, its just a cruely helpless place to be. I am really sorry for your loss..
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Posted: October 8, 2018, 6:10 PM
Passion and Purpose:
Many years ago I crossed paths with someone whose son was at a rehab/sober living in Florida. He was there 3 mo, 6 mo, the parents visited, became friendly w the owner. the son was compliant, but did not know what he wanted to do in life. the owner of the rehab offered him a part time job. when he was there a year, he was offered a full time job. he worked, got a pay check, still asked to come home once in a while, did not like his job. His mom said to me "he has no passion, that worries me" Since then, that statement wanders around in my brain. My son has had lots of opportunity but does not seem to have lasting passion. He has skills - lawn maintenance - hobbies fishing, golf, recently has gotten into some computerized music stuff... the piece of the puzzle that I do not see in my son is Contentment. He is not content to be at home, do his laundry, a few chores, fix something, read a book. it is like those are boring things that don't mean anything to him. he likes being out. we have spoken of it. he agrees, he is not content, he wants to be content. he does not know how to be. |
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