Sober Living
Posted: September 10, 2018, 9:44 PM

My adult child will soon be completing a 31 day program. We would like to see him go into a sober living home since he lives across the country from us and has no family or friends for support. He should also do an IOP. After our conversation tonight, he sounds like he will not do either but just return to the same environment he was before the treatment facility. I am so tired of this. Spend all this money and he we go again.
I don't even want him in my life. I thought I noticed a change but that change has left fast.

If anyone has any advice, please post.
Posted: September 11, 2018, 8:38 AM

Posts: 29
Joined: August 13, 2018

First, best to you. I am assuming your kiddo is a boy....

I have seen sober people swear by sober living facilities, but I have seen some deplorable ones. IOP is a great idea, I believe, but the one's I am familiar with are 5 days a week from appx 9-4. You mentioned you son is living across country....does this mean he is returning to a job where he supports himself? If so, there isn't much you can do. If not, and you are in any way assuming financial responsibilities on his behalf, you can rescind them. I recently got out of an inpatient facility where there was a young adult discharged. His options were to go to a sober living or back to the family home. They decided on home where the parents emulated the guidelines of the in patient....that is urine analysis, daily meetings (verified), and IOP.

You mention you want him out of your life. That too is an option and if you are not aware, there is Al Anon, a group designed for the people close to the alcoholic/addict. They have some very good advice and support for people in you position. Again, best

This post has been edited by Cordeliatolear on September 11, 2018, 8:39 AM
Posted: September 11, 2018, 10:36 PM

Posts: 363
Joined: November 16, 2017

My only advice is al-anon and keep posting here.

I have (and many here have) spent thousands of dollars on treatment, only to have nothing change. I felt like I had to give it a shot once, but that is it. No more. I cannot spend any more money. I have other obligations, including to myself.

Don't feel guilty. It is okay to let them learn on their own. I know it is so tough as a parent!
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