Daughter Relapsed After 6 Years
Posted: July 11, 2018, 5:36 PM


Posts: 62
Joined: June 14, 2012



Hi All,

Not sure why but she relapsed (heroin) after 6 years being sober. She has a good job, last semester in college left, she has a wonderful daughter, nice place and more....She was going through some tough times with her BF.....But is it reason....

What do you do...My wife and I are just lost...

Thank you.
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Posted: July 12, 2018, 8:51 AM


Posts: 19
Joined: March 28, 2018



First, deep breaths. Second, know you are not lone in the ocean of emotions pausing thru you. And finally, take it one step at a time. I would normally say detach but with grandbaby involved I know it's tough. We are here for you.

This post has been edited by RahneTelly on July 12, 2018, 8:52 AM

--------------------
Rahne
I battled my own addiction only to be buried by another's...
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Posted: July 12, 2018, 3:27 PM


Posts: 164
Joined: November 16, 2017



Yes, I agree with the above. You are not alone, be kind to yourself, try to stay in the moment. You are in a heartbreaking situation. I hope the best for your daughter and family. Is she interested in quitting again?
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Posted: July 12, 2018, 9:01 PM


Posts: 1217
Joined: June 27, 2016



hope this helps.... my son recently began recovery after 5 years of the roller coaster.... over the years he has been clean for a few months, rehab, soberliving, relapse for a year, repeat. about 2 months ago he tried to withdrawal while working full time, he was not able to. the insomnia was too bad. he finally went to a hospital to detox. during those 2 weeks I talked to him, observed, brought him to my therapist, and tried to get him to go to hospital. he did not want to go, but after 2 weeks he realized he could not do this by himself. he also had a bit of a psycosis/confusion for a few days. that really scared me and him. idk if it was withdrawal or if he had taken some drug. or combination. he is now going to meetings and classes and councellor. long term meetings and counselling is something he has not followed thru on in the past.

he spent 2-3 weeks in hospital. detox and rehab. he came out feeling better than ever and said the program was better than the other rehabs he had been to. he is determined to stay clean. I think he was ready to hear it and the staff said the right things at the right time.

What I came away with is that in the future if he slips, I can be firm and say - Go to the hospital or leave our house. before this I was afraid. I did not know what to do or how to do it. Now I feel like I know.

my advice for you is to not ignore it and hope she figures it out. She know good from bad.

Firmly keep telling her to go to hospital, detox, therapist, counsellor, meetings. Remind her she has had 6 good years, don't throw it away. It takes a long time to get there.





This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on July 12, 2018, 10:57 PM
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Posted: July 13, 2018, 8:54 AM


Posts: 503
Joined: August 28, 2016



NY--

So happy for you and your son! Praying he stays strong and on track! I know how hard you have worked and sacrificed to get to this point!!

I keep praying for my Chris and hoping it isn't too late for him to turn things around at 47.

(((HUGS))) Lori
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Posted: July 13, 2018, 1:14 PM


Posts: 62
Joined: June 14, 2012



All,

Thank you for the support. Now she is saying she needs suboxone, so she can "function" at work. Looks like she is going through withdrawals.

What we are saying is that she needs to go to the hospital to detox.

She is refusing to do so.

What a nightmare.
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Posted: July 14, 2018, 7:55 PM


Posts: 1217
Joined: June 27, 2016



Thanks Lori! The odd thing is that I have been crying more than ever for the past 2 months. I am happy that he is in recovery, but I know it may not last. I still feel like I have to check up on stuff and keep eyes open, and he easily hides it. I know he has lied and lied to us in the past, easily he can lie again.... I still feel angry for what he has put us thru for 5 years. and what he has lost, and the time he has lost. especially this past year. it is important that he goes to the meetings and classes so we help him do that. I feel like I was on a mission for the past 6 months, did what I had to do, and now I want to be done with it. I don't want to monitor it any more. I don't want to go thru it again. he is meeting a few new people, not hanging out w the old people. he is participating w the family. working part time. so I should not complain. I am grateful that we are at the point w are at. I have put a lot of my interests on hold and annoyed about that. I seem to get everyone elses stuff done and not mine. I did start working full time after being unemployed for 6 months. I am starting to turn my attention to my stuff and projects around the house....


Hope your family is well and best wishes that your son is on a good path. time will tell.



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Posted: July 14, 2018, 8:04 PM


Posts: 1217
Joined: June 27, 2016



axor -- IT IS A NIGHTMARE! So sorry you are going thru it again. They make life so much more complicated than it has to be.

I can understand that she does not want to go to detox and put her job in jeopardy. this was where we got on the enable train with our son. we wanted him to work and not loose his job and thought if he was working it was better than not working. and maybe the responsibility of working would motivate him to quit.... sounds logical. In his case, he does not quit until everything runs out. no friends, no job, no car, no cash, no phone.

she can inquire at a local hospital detox / rehab to see how many days she will need to stay. probably 3-7 days. maybe she can take time off work.

she can find a community outpatient service to start going to meetings. there is one in our area that accepts people in their current state of addiction with the intent that they are trying to quit. they have dr's and councelling staff.



This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on July 14, 2018, 8:08 PM
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Posted: August 10, 2018, 10:48 AM


Posts: 62
Joined: June 14, 2012



Thank you All for your advice and support.
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Posted: August 11, 2018, 10:01 AM


Posts: 164
Joined: November 16, 2017



AXor,

Are things any better? Did she agree to start on recovery, again?
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