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Posted: April 30, 2018, 8:31 AM
So I have 2 beautiful boys that go the primary school I work full-time on minimum wage and come home everyday for the last 2 weeks seeing a father high on Synthetics. Nothing is helping he isn't even looking after himself he sits on the same place and even prefers to fall off to sleep holding on to his butt than to come inside!!! He's withdrawn for so long then back to square one again. Sad sad sad. My children see it everyday. I am at my wit's end!!! I'm losing sleep over it. The boys don't have a stable father anymore he has no job no car nothing but us he doesn't want help either and yet holds a bachelor and master's degree

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Joined: June 27, 2016

Posted: April 30, 2018, 5:06 PM
Hi - Yes it is frustrating. my family has been going thru the addiction vs recovery roller coaster for about 5 years with our son. I keep learning, the more I keep reading and trying to find answers. The one piece of advice I kept going back to is that We can not make them change, but we can change ourselves, and hope that they follow.

In the past 4 months I found a therapist at a recovery center. I did not keep it a secrete. Once I established a relationship w my therapist, I began telling my son about the recovery center and invited him to come to an appointment with me. eventually he did. he started the intake to see his own therapist, but has not gone back to finish the intake. during brief moments when he was receptive to talking, I would encourage him to not over medicate. I would nicely point out that he was nodding off in his ice cream and that people notice even though he does not know he is doing it. I asked him not to come to our house over medicated. (I use terms that he is ok with hearing - over medicated vs on drugs) I began talking of family counseling, his dad going to counseling, and for him to see the drs at the recovery center instead of the ones he is seeing.

my son is slowing changing. many variables came into play over the past few months. (his last good friend moved across country to start a new job and live we relatives, gf's house became unbearably dysfunctional, an incident w police, a want to be independent) I don't know what motivated change and I don't know how long it will last. I do know that he did not change until HE decided to.

You could say that he is a sad sight to see for your boys. maybe take a picture of him if he does not believe you. tell him you want the husband and father that you know he can be, back in your lives. start setting boundaries such as - he can do what he wants as long as it does not impact you and your boys. therefore when he is in this condition either you and the kids need to leave or he needs to leave....

find a recovery center for you to see a therapist or go to meetings. show your husband that you are going to make changes.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on April 30, 2018, 5:17 PM
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