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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: February 21, 2018, 12:31 PM
I have a brother who survived from a Heroin overdose five years ago. I had no clue about any of this and he went on methadone. Well a year ago he went to rehab again and now I found out he is taking opioids. He is taking Suboxone, but his wife doesn't want him to get the help to be on Suboxone. I think someone gave him some on the side, but not sure. In the meantime, I have no clue what happens behind close doors, but he is married to a crazy lady. At first I thought maybe she has had enough with the drug use especially since they had a daughter and son under 4 and that is why she took away his car, license, money,cell phone etc. So he had no way to get to work. But... she will kick him out of the house and then pick him up at his cousins house where he was staying and has him go to the casino with her while she gambles. He stays in the car with the two or three kids in the parking garage while she is gambling. One night they had a fight and he said I hope you get hit by a car in front of the 5 year old daughter. Recently they had another baby and it seems as if she gets crazy after she has a boy. Two years ago she had both kids in car seats and drove down my dads street and put all the Christmas gifts out in the street and put ketchup on them. She is acting crazy again and kicked him out and ripped up all of his sports jerseys. I am sorry for going on and on, but there is a reason for it. I am not saying she doesn't have a right to be upset, but she is not showing signs of a healthy person. I heard she wasn't happy she had another boy. Oh well. Be happy God blessed you with three healthy children. Bottom line, everyone is afraid to do anything because they feel she will take the kids and use his drugs against him. He is a great worker and a great dad, but he has an addiction and it also seems like she has one too, but with gambling. My biggest fear is that something bad is going to happen. Maybe I watch too much of the ID Network, but I am scared for all of them and for the kids. I know it's not my business and this is more then venting, but for her to act this way isn't helping, but these poor kids. My heart breaks for them. He was suppose to get help at the clinic yesterday and my dad is taking him. I am not sure if the wife stopped him from going, but now there is trouble again at the house. Like I said, I have no clue if he has a temper with the drugs and all, but why won't she let him get the help he needs. Is Soboxone really a bad thing to do to get the help from opiods? I am scared and praying for the kids. So my brother is afraid of her and no one will call the cops because they feel the kids will be either taken away or the wife will never allow them to see the kids again. Which she has already done a few times. Thank you for listening.
This post has been edited by worried123 on February 21, 2018, 12:39 PM | ||
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: February 22, 2018, 12:22 AM
Hi, I see no one has answered your post so I thought I would try to help although I don’t know if I can. But here’s what I think.... It sounds like your brother wants to get off the opiates and is trying. His wife does sound crazy, I agree! At one time was she on drugs too? Maybe she has bi-polar? How old are they? I can’t understand why she doesn’t want your brother to get help. Suboxone and Methadone are what most struggling drug addicts take to keep them off opiates. Seems to me there’s more to the story than what your being told. I do feel sorry for the children being stuck in a car with their dad while she gambles. That’s ridiculous! Why can’t he be at home with the kids to watch them? Not that he is a responsible adult to be watching the children to start with. I think both of them are sitting ducks for someone reporting them to Child Welfare as these two sound unfit parents. The authorities would offer custody to family first. At least they do in my state. I hope someone else will come on and advise you.i hope things get better for all concerned..Your a good aunt trying to help. Take care. Mary.
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Posted: February 22, 2018, 11:08 PM
I am afraid those children are in danger. At the very least, they are being emotionally traumatized. Putting ketchup on xmas presents would make me seriously consider calling dcfs. Not as a punishment, but to get that family help. That is scary abusive to the children.
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: February 23, 2018, 12:24 AM
maybe one spouse does not want the other to get help, because at this point the spouse can be manipulated. if the spouse (your brother) gets help with his addiction, he will no longer be a willing participant. possibly, they depend on each other's addiction to help and hide their own. if you let me do what I want, I will let you do what you want. it is all up to your brother. does he want to stop the madness and quit his addiction and possibly separate from his wife in order to save himself and his kids. it is a tough mountain for him to climb and will take years, but every clean year is a good one and will motivate progress. as you see his life is very complicated. being clean with nothing is not easy. being clean while working, dealing w a manipulating spouse, and worried about the kids is overwhelming. The best thing for your brother is to get help with his addiction (dr and therapist who specialize with addiction) He will need a therapist for a long time to navigate his relationship w his wife. and help to deal w her in a sane manner, while making good decisions for himself and kids. the behavior of his wife is extremely hard to deal with. we are responsible for us. our addicted loved one is responsible for their own decisions/actions.(suggest a vasectomy)
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: February 25, 2018, 3:55 AM
Thank you everyone for replying & for your kind words.
I am going to reply in the afternoon when I’m more awake. | ||
Posts: 271
Joined: June 27, 2015
Posted: February 25, 2018, 12:46 PM
Hi worried 123, I bet the reason why she doesn't let him get the help is because she loves to control him. She controls everything he does and if he got sober then he would be in the right state of mind and no sober man would let someone treat them and they're kids like that especially if he's a good dad like you say. If he gets sober then she won't be in control. She's definitely sick that's for sure. And what Mandm said.,,, I think every female has a lil bipolar in them if you ask me.! Anywho, okay, so when I need some hardcore advice or help not only do I come here I also go to the website AVVO.com and what that is -is a place where you can ask your questions and get legal advice from only lawyers and attorneys from every kind. Immigration, real estate, family law, criminal, every kind of lawyer and attorney out there and only they can answer your questions and help you out. No one like me can comment to you. And the best thing is it doesn't cost money. You can post ur questions for free. I have posted a few things myself and I got some really good help. One time I was being harassed by another lawyer out here in my home city. And the lawyers on there were able to give me some good advice and I did what they said and that other lawyer never bothered me again!!! So you see, try there for some legal help. The only thing is -is they are blunt. They will tell you the truth even if it hurts you. They will tell you the honest hurting truth if u know what I mean?!!?I'm sorry if I wasn't any real help. But whatever you decide, please come back and give us a update. I hope you get the help you search for because she sounds like a total bit**. Bye.
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Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: February 26, 2018, 8:47 AM
Loving Welcome 123!! So glad that you found us . . . so sorry that you need this place to share without shame, to get support and encouragement and to get hugs.
It sounds like your brother may be a victim of domestic violence . . . he may be entitled to a temporary restraining order because his wife has created an environment that is controlling and I assume that he is fearful. Domestic violence is not only about getting hit or assaulted or strangled. It includes emotional and verbal abuse . . . which this sounds like the dictionary definition of. She's virtually holding him a prisoner. I wish I had a one size fits all suggestion of how to help your brother (and your nephews) escape from this certifiably crazy lady. Is he ready to leave? If so, can you help him craft a plan so that he can leave (hopefully) in an orderly manner . . . where will he and the kids go? How will they survive financially? Will he take any furniture from the house? For me, I'd also let him know that coming to my house is an option, too. If he is not ready to leave, maybe let him know that you think he should go and when (and if) he is ready, you will help and support him. I keep thinking that with all this discord at home, he NEEDS his suboxine. This drug helps to control the cravings for opiates. And I'm sure your brother wants to escape . . . at least mentally . . . from his wife. I take my hat off to him that despite sitting in the car while she gambles and all the other stuff you mentioned that he didn't take a hit or two. I hope that he is going to AA/NA, has a therapist and is getting support for his addiction. Sending hugs & love, Lynn xoxo -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: March 19, 2018, 4:31 PM
First off, I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words, advice and understanding. I know I shouldn't get into it and it's not really my business, but I worry about the kids. Last month after I wrote to all of you, something bad happened. My brothers wife started hitting my brother in front of my dad and his wife in front of their house. The oldest who is now 6 was sitting in the car and my step mom took her inside. My dad called the police and she was out of control. She wanted my brother to go to work and quit his job and she also took one of his suboxones and tested for it. Well my dad had to refrain her and hold her down on the ground and called the police. Well the police called DYFS. Now his wife and the three kids are at her moms and my brother is staying at their house. They are not allowed to be near each other. They sent her to the hospital since she said she may kill her self or something and she signed herself out of the hospital cuz they saw her walking home. Well my brother called us all and wanted us to meet up and get a bite. He didn't drink at all and I was watching him the whole time. His wife broke his phone and he borrowed someones. Well he did go out here and there and I think he needed that with friends and family, but I did tell him he needs to take life serious and be the better parent and to stay on his suboxone. I just found out that now, he is hanging with the wife again. I heard a rumor that she is at the house with him. I dont' know what happens if DYFS finds out. Now my dads wife said she is at her moms, so I don't know what to believe. I believe my brother and his wife went to the casino last night instead of seeing the family. Only the grandparents can see the kids. My dad and his wife are in their 70's and said they are too old to get the kids. I don't get to see the kids only on holidays, but that was because his wife never let me take the oldest anywhere for no reason. Well now my brother has a new phone and she controls the phone and has a tracking device so she knows where he is at all times. I told my dad that she needs mental health and there is nothing wrong with getting help. It's almost like they are in denial. No one ever wanted to call the police before, because they were afraid she would keep them from the kids. They said things are bad now which they are with DYFS, but something needs to give. I feel as if they don't tell me much and I am the most trusting and stabile one in the family. I heard the oldest told someone that she doesn't like her mom.
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Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: March 19, 2018, 6:28 PM
Oh my . . . what a nightmare!!! What a painful and horrible situation. Sending hugs to you. Lord knows that this must be heart-breaking to watch. And so painful to go through. Glad you updated us here. Sending more hugs!!
Is there a restraining order in place? I hope and pray that your brother has one against the wife. If there is a restraining order in place and they are together and the police are notified, the wife will face a felony offense for violating a restraining order. Even if he ultimately dismisses the original restraining order, he has no control over the violation charge. He can't dismiss the violation. Violating a temporary or final restraining order is no joke. If someone drops a dime . . .clearing throat loudly. Wry smile. I'm totally confused re why the Wife has the kids when she was the perpetrator of domestic violence. Then again, DYFS has been known to do strange things. But . . . truth be told . . .ALL of this is outside of your control. This is your brother's monkey . . . and this is his show. Where the kids are living . . . whether he goes back to her . . . whether he dismisses the restraining order . . . whether he drinks . . . or takes his Suboxone. You have absolutely, positively no control over. PLUS . . . it sounds like he is in a co-dependent relationship. Sounds like he is addicted to the wife and the drama that she causes. So sorry that you have a ring-side seat at this horrible 3-ring circus. It is so hard to watch addicts destroy themselves with one bad decision after another. And not try to reason with them, rationalize with them, make them see the error of their logic. It is commendable that you really really want to jump in and help in some way. It is so clear that you love your brother and want to protect him. He is so very lucky to have you as his sister. . . in his corner. . . loving him in spite of himself. The problem is: what will happen if you jump in? I wonder if you jump in will your "help" cement his relationship with the Wife; or will it help him stay strong to remain solo, identify his issues & do battle; or will your efforts backfire causing him to withdraw from you; or . . . . I have no idea. BUT . . . Remember the 3 Cs: You didn't cause his addiction; you can't control it; and you can't cure it. I'm not saying that you should lose hope or optimism. That you should become cold-hearted and unfeeling. But I'm saying focus more on healing you . . . addiction is hurting you badly. Hang in there. Sending hugs, prayers & love, Lynn xoxo This post has been edited by hurtingmom on March 19, 2018, 6:29 PM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: March 19, 2018, 9:16 PM
Hi! Unfortunately, everyone involved is going to suffer. Consider yourself lucky that the family does not tell you everything. The only thing I can see for you to do is keep in touch w your brother. give him a call once a week or two just to say hi and see if he needs to talk or vent. keep the conversation simple, just let him talk if he can. she may not let him talk to you or he may be uncomfortable/afraid of consequences. if there is something you can help with, only commit to once a week or two, keep your boundaries so the situation does not overwhelm you.
try not to problem solve, but say supportive things (I have heard of a controlling spouse keeping the other spouse away from their family and friends. It looks like she does not want him out of her sight. going to work and he possibly telling someone something is out of her control ) if she is tracking him he probably would not want to meet with you. it is emotionally exhausting to listen and be a sounding board for someone going thru a crisis - that's where a counselor comes in. just being in recovery is complicated, just having marital problems is complicated, just raising kids is complicated! just dealing w a dysfunctional person on a daily basis is complicated! Your brother has all of it! encourage him to talk to a counselor. he needs to be able to vent and sort out his feelings and get the encouragement to stand up for himself. Unfortunately again, standing up for himself is only the first step - things might get uglier after that - because it gets so complicated regarding the children. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on March 19, 2018, 9:23 PM | ||
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: March 20, 2018, 2:37 PM
Thank you so much @HurtingMom
When DYFS got involved, my brother was to stay at the house they have together and the kids are with their mom at her moms house. I thought that whole thing was strange myself. Apparently she can't go anywhere without the mom or something like that. It's very sad and the fact that my brother may be hanging with her when told not to be around each other is like playing with fire. Three kids ages 2 months to 6 years old need them and it will kill me to see them ever go to Foster Care. I don't know how true it is, but I heard my brothers wifes mom is abusive too. But who knows what other info I don't have. I am going to ask my sister for my brothers new phone number. That's another thing. My sister is using too, well I believe she is. She took her daughter and my brothers daughter to a not so safe neighborhood and left them in the car while she went into someone's house. One of the kids told a family member. My sister just had a baby and we just found out that the baby just came home and my sister went to hospital to feed the baby. It hurts how my brother and his wife never let me take my older niece anywhere but yet let my sister who is most likely using to take her and drive her around. So disgusted. My dad said my sister always borrows money then never has any for gas. She had to run somewhere and borrowed my dads car and my dad said I will drive you, but she wouldn't let him take her. Very strange and very sad. This post has been edited by worried123 on March 20, 2018, 2:39 PM | ||
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Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: March 20, 2018, 11:25 PM
It just dawned on me, Worried.
Maybe your brother and his wife don't want you to spend meaningful time with their kids bc you are NOT an addict. Perhaps they are afraid of what secrets the kids may tell you. The kids may confide in you . . .there seems to be so much crazy shyt that they are seeing and feeling. I'm sure the oldest is dying to off-load all the unnecessary baggage this poor child is carrying at 6 yo. I bet your brother and sister-in-law are afraid that the kids may grow to love the love, kindness, stability and calmness that you bring . . . and they may be afraid that if even one of the kids experiences "normality" this will drive a wedge in this dysfunctional family dynamics . . . and may make your sibling face reality. Or may lead the oldest to tell the others later that not everyone is like their Mommy and Daddy. Maybe your brother and sister-in-law are afraid that you will judge them . . . or call DYFS . . . or the police. On the other hand, perhaps they are willing to let the other addict relatives baby sit and hangout with the kids bc Brother Man & his wife don't care what the other addict relatives think or say precisely bc they are addicts too . . . in their minds perhaps no better (or worse) than them . . . and hence these relatives won't throw a stone at their glass house . . . or are as afraid of the police as your brother/sister-in-law should be and therefore won't call no matter what. From what I've seen, there seems to be a code of honor among addicts. Yes, they will steal from each other but they won't unnecessarily rat each other out. Then again, there is also a very selfless and loving reason your brother may be so difficult re the kids. Maybe he doesn't want to get you wrapped all up in his stuff. Maybe he is trying the only way he can to keep you from devoting yourself to his life, to battling his addiction and resolving his issues. As selfish as addicts are, I know that when my Jill was at her worst she tried to hide the depths and breadths of what she was doing from me. I like to think that she loved me so much that she was trying to protect my heart. To save me from hurting any more than I already was. She already felt guilty and ashamed . . . so she wasn't going to publicize her shananigans by sharing with me contemporaneously. I learned long after the fact of her unGodly, immoral, stupid and illegal acts. I hear that you are really concerned about the kids. I hear your concern about them getting into the system due to their parents' foolishness. Have you thought about trying to obtain custody of/fostering the kids? Not sure that you have the time, energy, room,resources, etc. to take on 3 kids aged 2 months to 6 years. (Lawd!!) But at least in my state if DYFS removes kids from their parents, the preference is for the kids to be placed with relatives rather than strangers. (I think it's called Kinship Foster Care.) The process is easy peasy for relatives . . . fill out application, have DYFS/probation conduct a SCHEDULED home visit (to see if there are adequate beds, the place is kid-proof, etc), have no criminal/domestic violence record, and pass a drug test. That's it!!! Think about looking into the process . . . just in case. You can't rescue your brother . . . but you CAN help those kids!!! Two more things . . . BREATHE!!! Take a moment and just sit down and breathe. Then read "Ways Family Members Can Help" on this board. Hope something in here is helpful. I have no answers to the nightmare you are living. Except to say that your brother shouldn't have any more kids until he is in a better space!!! Smile. Sending hugs . . . Lynn xoxo This post has been edited by hurtingmom on March 20, 2018, 11:56 PM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
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Posted: March 21, 2018, 9:57 PM
Worried, this is really a tragedy for all involved. I believe this women could be a great danger to her children. Her behavior is very erractic and she needs helps. She really needs help to get better and have the kids be somewhere safe while she gets help.
As all have said, this is very sad for you. I really encourage to lean on/make new healthy friends and start making your base away from the unhealthy family members. Start trying to focus your life and your time on other people. When in active addiction, people cannot offer anything to their loved ones, so you must really take care of yourself. | ||
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: March 21, 2018, 10:53 PM
Hi Worried, In all honesty don’t you think the children would have a much better life being away from these drug addicted parents? Including your sister too who just had a baby also? The children are in danger of being abused by strangers leaving them in a car like that. My grand daughter use to get taken to drug houses in her car seat and left to be watched by whoever wasn’t doing dope at the time while the parents went and did their dope. It’s awful! I’ll never forget the day she came to my house hungry when she was about 2 yrs old. I use to babysit her then. I made her breakfast and she couldn’t eat it quick enough she was so hungry. That’s when I knew something was going on. I’ve had my grandchild since then and she’s almost 12.They forget to feed the kids when their high. Drugs is all that matters. Everything else is a chore or an obstacle that’s in the way. I feel so bad for the kids. What a terrible position you are in and it’s hard not to get involved. I’m really sorry you have no help from anyone in your family. Try to find help from places that are set up to help families. Take care. Mary.
This post has been edited by Mandm on March 21, 2018, 11:30 PM | ||
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: March 27, 2018, 10:38 AM
It really is sad. All I know is that I miss the kids and I don't know when I will be able to see them again. My brother was invited to my brothers little family get together for his birthday but he didn't come. With their car insurance policy , they have a tracking device so his fiancé can see he went there. It's a drug free zone too. I don't get how she controls him like this. He is at the house alone and he can't come over to be with family. My step mom said it's because she will fight with him and it's not worth it. He needs to be tuff and not take the crap. Then he calls my dad asking for food saying to bring him something home and he gets all nasty and stuff. I think they should not give in to my brother and let him deal with it. He has money unless she controls that as well. I am so sick of everyone taking it so lightly and like a friend told me. Who do you have control over? Only yourself. My dad called DYFS to see about how he can see his kids and they never called him back. I am also hoping that my brother isn't seeing her or letting her over the house because that can really get them in trouble with DYFS. Her mother has temporary custody and now his fiancé is saying stuff that my step mom is calling and calling to see the kids which isnt' true and my step mom is a quiet generous woman who would never cause trouble. I am just over it all. Praying is all I can do. My sisters baby seems okay and is so adorable. I still never found out if the reason they kept him in the hospital is because he was going through withdrawal. I am sure it might have been the reason even though no one wants to admit to it or say it. My dad is missing the grandson so much and still never met the new grandson who is two months old. Thank you everyone for your kind words, advice and support. I also hope all of you are doing well too. Hugs
This post has been edited by worried123 on March 27, 2018, 10:38 AM | ||
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Posted: March 27, 2018, 10:57 AM
It's seems a bit of codependent relationship. It's a platitude but like or similar minds attract. One seems obsessive while the other is compulsive. But events and circumstance like 3 kids seem to be the primary motivators here. The entire relationship needs work. If nothing else everyone involved must emphasize the kids. That means sacrifice. It's not about what one of them wants it's about the kids.
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: May 2, 2018, 9:55 AM
Good morning. I hope all of you are doing well. Thank you so much for being there and listening to my story.
I realize all of this is too much for me and even though I think I can, I can't fix everything. My step mom and dad don't tell me too much and if I ask questions my step mom gets mad. She also thinks I put everything on FB which I DON'T. In the past four-five years ago I had a bad year being in an abusive relationship and vented on FB, but nothing as personal as this. I would NEVER. I am so sick of being the one who cares and I am treated like a nosey trouble maker. I am so over it. My dad said my brother calls him up yelling and asking for food or money and I told him he needs to stop doing for him and my dad said he's afraid he will kill himself or something. My brother is 39 years ago for goodness sakes. I also found out that the ins. tracker DOES NOT TRACK where he is. It tracks his mileage, but so does the odometer. I work for an ins. company. What do they think I am stupid? My brothers wife lets my step mom see the kids when my dad isn't there so he can't see them or the new baby born the beginning of this year. My dad finally saw the new baby last week. Then gets mad at me because the camera I bought him didn't work when he took pictures of the new grandson. I have no clue what is going on with DYFS and I want to call to see if I have aunt rights. Obviously my brothers fiancé and my brother have some issues and need therapy. She controls his phone, money you name it. I just don't get it. I just feel like a black sheep in my family. Sorry to sound like I am complaining, but I think I need to get angry and put it in Gods hands. I need to spend time with those who matter and continue to live my life each day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I think if my dad brings it up, I am going to say I don't want to hear about it. Have a wonderful day. :) | ||
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: May 3, 2018, 8:56 AM
LOL - you are not the black sheep - you might be the most stable one! It is hard because everyone is compassionate and sensitive to the well being of the children. Children are resilient, they don't know how dysfunctional things are and they get thru it better than us!
Find a therapist for yourself - one who has experience in addiction and recovery would be best - so they have the background and understand the chaos you are going thru. you need some one to vent to, and help you untangle your life from your family's life. you cant save them and if they are not asking for your help, they are not going to appreciate your help. maybe sometime in the future they or the kids will need you. work towards that goal so you are healthy 10 years from now. what happens now, is not in your control. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on May 3, 2018, 8:57 AM | ||
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 21, 2018
Posted: May 3, 2018, 11:20 AM
I had a talk with my older brother about all of it and we both agreed that there is no talking to anyone about it. It's in their hands and in Gods hands. I just tend to worry and try to fix everything. I have a busy life with my daughter, work, photography, reading and writing. I appreciate everyone that reached out to me. I get behind the lens and that is the best therapy ever. My older brother told me that my dad always says that him and I are the only two that turned out good and his two (the ones on drugs/my half siblings) with his second wife have the issues. She doesn't like hearing that as much. My older brother and I from my mom and dad have never smoked a cigarette and never did any illegal drugs ever. I was made fun of because of it, but I stand proud. God Bless everyone.
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: May 4, 2018, 7:56 AM
Sounds SWEET! maybe you can help by taking your dad out for lunch or for a fun activity once a month, with your brother so you all can have family time away from the drama....
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