I Can't Do This Anymore!
Posted: November 15, 2017, 5:39 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: November 15, 2017

I've had 18 years of this and I just can't help my daughter anymore. 18 years in and out of prison, 18 years of anything valuable going missing, she cost me my marriage, she's stolen all my jewellery, 18 years of every day waiting for the door to knock to find the police stood there saying "We've found her dead in the gutter", 18 years of her disappearing and me worrying myself sick and crying myself to sleep every night, 18 years of Hell! Years of her being in prison for dealing drugs, stabbing someone etc. etc. over and over again, I've just found out she virtually tortured her younger brother most of his young life, he has only just showed me the whip marks all over his back and she drove her elder brother to move far away when he was legally old enough which is 16 in the UK.....
I thought she was doing well, she moved back in just short of 2 years ago, she was going to collage then got herself into University then the S**T hit the fan AGAIN, she'd emptied my bank account again, I told her she had to move out, I can't trust you and for the first time in my life I said NO to helping her anymore, my son came round and went upstairs, (I cannot get upstairs as I became ill 4 years ago and now I'm disabled), over 80 needles were found, burnt spoons and tin foil, human poo and pee in cooking pans, human poo over the back of the bed, sick every where, 3 bedrooms upstairs and she'd gone from room to room when one was destroyed she'd move on to the next, carpets, bedding and mattresses destroyed etc., then came, "I hate you, you've ruined my life, I wish you were dead, your cot death son was your fault, etc. etc. etc.", nasty, evil words coming out of her mouth, I didn't recognise her, pure evil in her eyes.....
She then breaks in and steals all my very dangerous medication saying she was going to kill herself and that was my fault, I had to call the police to find her, they found her where I thought she'd be at her brothers grave, she was rushed to hospital, her heart stopped for 10 seconds, she was put on a breathing machine, they found 2 huge holes in her groin and told me she is close to loosing her legs, she checked herself out.....
I then found out she'd been arrested for burglary with the people still in the house. The door knocked, I answered it to her barging her way in knocking me to the floor, picking up my laptop and other valuable things, threatening to take the dog as well if I didn't give her some money, I couldn't fight back I can hardly walk, I had to give her money.....
I can't do this anymore, I'm disabled now and tired of this, I've been on medication, sleeping tablets etc. for years, I just can't do this anymore, I'm now left alone because she cost me my marriage, I'm living in a prison, all the doors locked all the time, I can't open the front door or leave any windows open in case she tries to barge in and bribe money out of me again, I can't sleep properly in case she breaks in again. I'm here until I can move somewhere she can't find me, somewhere I can start my life again.....
Yet I feel soooooo guilty, I feel like I've abandoned my child, I'm still living in hell, am I a terrible mother??? Heroin has destroyed her life, mentally and physically scarred my son, driven my other son away, driven my husband away and left me alone still in hell!!! This is the truth of the evil of Heroin!

This post has been edited by Hodgiepodge on November 15, 2017, 5:44 AM
Posted: November 15, 2017, 5:00 PM

Posts: 1678
Joined: June 27, 2016

I am so sorry for your Hellish situation. Start packing. At least pack things you don't use and store them at a relatives house. start getting your things in order. you should not live that way. you can relocate. Move as fast as you can - clean out the house later or hire someone to do that.

you are not a terrible mother. Heroin has done this to her. she is not herself. you are no match to the force of the drugs she takes. you will never win, she will always be one step ahead. you will never be able to predict what she will do next. It is dangerous. Call the police when she shows up and do not open the doors. remind yourself - you are looking at the devil, not your daughter.

you need to save yourself. give yourself permission to have the strength you need.
sorry for your suffering.

how old is your daughter?

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on November 15, 2017, 8:26 PM
Posted: November 16, 2017, 10:30 PM

Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015

I don't know how old you are Hodge but I've seen on tv that you can get help from somewhere that helps senior citizens. It's the same crowd who advertise "No excuse for elder abuse". Try looking them up on the web even if your not a senior. They may pass you onto people that will help you. But if I was you and you can afford it, I'd move! You've been through enough! Your daughter sounds really hard core. Probably all the times she's been inside. She does sound evil like you said. I've seen my daughter when she's on a rampage about a year ago, it's like they are possessed and hard to recognize what was once our child. Don't let yourself go there where you think your a bad mom. I use to torture myself with the same question...your not!! Nobody caused your daughter to be like this except herself. I would say to you, don't feel bad! If you can move away I'd get as far away as I could from her. Sounds like she may have a mental illness now probably from all the drugs. It happens. Watch out for yourself and your son. Take care. Mary

This post has been edited by Mandm on November 16, 2017, 10:46 PM
Posted: February 25, 2018, 12:20 PM

Posts: 256
Joined: June 27, 2015

Hi mom (hodgiepodge), Im BabyLove. Im sorry ur daughter is a a**hole.! She seems to me like if she needs a good a**whoopin if u ask me. She needs to be put in her place. How dare she treat u like if your someone she hates on the streets. She has no respect for you. It's one thing to steal from family and whatever but to put hands on you,,, now that's going way too far. Sounds like someone needs to stab her one time. Anywho, I'm sorry. I just can't stand bullies. That get me in a spot where is like to show them what goes around comes around.! Anyways, what about paying for security bars around your Windows and doors so even if she broke the window she still won't be able to get in. ? Or do you have any nephews that could stay with you? You need some muscle behind you. Like a security guard or a body guard I should say.! And do you pray? If so then pray and ask for help, maybe prison. I bet when ever she did go to prison that was the only time u were able to sleep . Every time she goes over and you know she's at the door then don't answer it, don't even let her know your home and just call the cops right away. Look, ur not a bad mom at all ! If anything, she's a bad daughter. So don't be so hard on urself. Trust me . And let's say u do call the cops next time she comes over getting crazy with you and they take her to jail then trust me she won't hate you forever. You were only looking out for your own safety and actually for hers too. At the end of all this hell you live in , she won't be mad at you anymore, but she'll be thanking you.! Please come back here and post an update on how things are going for you. Id sure love to hear from you again. Let us know if ur okay.!! I hope all is well. And I'm sorry if I was no help right now and just rambled on ! Bye

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