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Posted: June 2, 2017, 3:45 PM
My 27 yr old daughter is using cocaine ,and i need advice on what to say to get her to kick the habit, she went away last weekend to a rave weekend at Blackpool palmed the kids off on her mother and stepsister, her boyfriend who she moved into her house after knowing him for only a week is also a user, she owes money to me her mother her stepsister and God knows who else, what do I do or say to her.
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: June 2, 2017, 4:29 PM
HI Frank, Read the postings on the Families/Partners board. Unfortunately, there is nothing magic we can say or do. Your addicted loved one will keep on going until she stops.
First - you, your wife and other family members should go to Naranon and/or Alanon meetings - depending on what is available in your area. You will find you are not alone. You can share openly w others. You will learn how to set boundaries and detach from the drama and STOP giving her anything that makes her choices easier. Stop enabling her to stay in addiction. Second - try to find these postings by entering the title in the search option at bottom of postings. "Ways Family Members can Help", "What Not to do", "Let me fall all by myself", "Will you learn to say No". Even when you stop everything - all enabling, they still don't stop, until they want to. my son, also 27 - no children, did not stop and go to rehab until he was friendless and homeless and sleeping under a bench for a week or two. and then he agreed to go to rehab, twice. Spent many clean months in the past two years. but every time he is on his own, he relapses. Currently, I am pretty sure he has relapsed. I tell him to stop. he denys he is doing anything. we have been going thru this for 3 years. we were able to stop the enabling when he was at rehabs and sober living. the main idea is to put their responsibilities on their plate. It is tough to watch especially when children are involved. the moderators will probably move this posting to the Family Board. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on June 2, 2017, 4:45 PM | ||
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: June 3, 2017, 7:11 PM
just found this info on Smart Recovery for families:http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/family.htm
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: June 4, 2017, 8:56 PM
Hi Frank, I sympathize with you as I too know what your going through. My daughter has been doing drugs, heroin, crack, cocaine, uppers,downers, you probably name it she's probably tried it. This has been going on 18 yrs. I am raising her child now 8-9 yrs. I don't think the children are safe around her and him. There's no telling who they bring into the house. Chances are she will not put up much of a fight to let the kids live with family. Because they will be a burden now. With cocaine their never hungry and may forget to feed the kids. This guy moving in was a bad idea because he will just sponge off her. If she has anything of value he will pawn it or she will sell it to get money for drugs. Don't let her out of your sight when she's in your house too. I'd hide any medicines like pain killers etc away from view along with anything you have of value. While she has this guy around I don't see much chance of getting her help. It will be hard to get rid of him because he has a free place to live now. But I would get your family together and her too and try to get her to except help from somewhere in your country that offers it. All this depends too on how long she's been doing the drugs and i what other drugs are involved too. I hope none and it's been a short experimenting phase she's been in. As long as the boyfriend is around the drugs will be too.I hope things get better. But it's all up to her, she has to want to get better. But watch out for the kids! Give her no money and don't make things easy for her. If she needs cigs let her find the money to buy them herself. That goes for all the family to do this!! No freebies! Believe half of what she tells you and even that could be lies. We're all here for you if you need us Frank. Take care. Mary.
This post has been edited by Mandm on June 4, 2017, 9:25 PM | ||
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