I Feel So Alone
Posted: April 25, 2017, 12:36 AM

Posts: 0
Joined: April 25, 2017

It's a very long story but my daughter has been in trouble since she was 12 years old. She is a former meth addict but I'm worried she may have relapsed. She's now 31 and just got charged with her 4th DWI. She was raised in a good home. I'm a kindergarten teacher with a master's degree. I've spent countless dollars on bails, attorney's fees, etc. I can't do it anymore. I'm devastated that my child is going to spend a lot of time in prison. Even though she's an adult, she's still my CHILD. I'm just looking for someone who can relate so I don't feel so alone.
Posted: April 25, 2017, 5:32 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: April 19, 2017

hello I. going through the same thing but only with significant other. I am numb right now. and feeling lost. I hope and pray you and I can make it through all this.
Posted: April 25, 2017, 4:24 PM

Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015

You've come to the right place. You're not alone here. If you read enough stories, you'll see yourself and/or your daughter in them. If you read enough, you'll also figure out that you can pay all the bail money in the world and it won't save your daughter. It's out of your hands. You'll read about the 3 C's... You didn't CAUSE it, you can't CONTROL it, and you can't CURE her. It's the truth. She's a grown adult and she absolutely has to face the consequences of her actions. It does her and you no good at all if you "help", which is enabling. If you haven't checked out an Al anon meeting before, it might be a good time to start. When we detach with love from our addicts, we learn to be less involved in their life but still love them. Instead of feeling like you have to bail her out, you start saying, "I'm sorry, it sounds like you've gotten yourself into a lot of trouble. I hope you can figure it all out. I love you and want the best for you".
Good luck!

Posted: April 25, 2017, 6:45 PM

Posts: 97
Joined: January 21, 2017

Mustang, it helps to know that having addiction in your life will cause you to go through the stages of grief, like we do with any loss. Most of the hardship for me came during the "shock" phase... this person I was dealing with was not, could not, be my beloved child. I fell for a lot of his stories until I realized that it was my ego that could not face the truth. But, that only delayed his recovery. By trying to cover for his mess, he also got very comfortable in it. Please stay on the board, it does help. Also, finding a real live person to talk with, that has been where you are. There are no right or wrong answers. Be as gentle with yourself as you would a good friend who was in the middle of this.
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