Posted: March 28, 2017, 9:56 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: March 28, 2017

my ex boyfriend has a bad past with smoking meth and has been to rehab programs before but they never helped him. we was together for 9 months and he was doing really good until he slipped up and started being crazy and stuff.i kept trying to get him to see that it was hurting me of how he was acting toward me when all I did was be there for him and do things for him ,make him feel loved and special. Now we are still apart and it is hard I know he goes threw a lot but it is not good to face problems alone. we was together the other day and it was just like old times nothing but happiness and it was great. he was saying he was tired of living the drug life and he was wanting to go to a good free rehab program but he don't think it will help but I think it will and to help our relationship to. but hoe can I get him to open his eyes back up
Posted: March 29, 2017, 10:05 PM

Posts: 243
Joined: August 18, 2016

I'm sorry no one has rsponded yet. I think you will get more responses if you post this in the "methamphetamines" section. (You can see the different sections on the left hand side of this page). This section is for posts dealing with methadone, which is an opiate (pain-killer). The "meth" you are talking about is short for methamphetamine, which is a stimulant-type drug. I'm sure you are aware of the differences between the two, but I just wanted to put it in my response so others reading it will know. A lot of people confuse the two drugs because of the "meth" in both of the names, but they are as different as night and day!

O.k. Now, back to you! I am so sorry your ex significant other is an addict. Loving an addict is such a hard thing to do and it gets very complicated very quickly.

I know you love him, but you have to realize that your love plays no part in his addiction. You can love him more than life itself, but you can't love addiction out of someone. Love has absolutely no baring on whether or not he uses or stops using. There is nothing you can can't love him enough, support him enough, be pretty enough, make enough money, or any of a million other things you do..None of it will make him want to recover. That is up to him alone. It is painful to stand by and watch someone destroy their lives, but it is THEIR life to live. Hopefully he will want to get better and if he does there is help available. But, it is up to him to do the recovery work. If he wants treatment, it is up to him to find it and do what he needs to do. It alone is his responsibility!

There are some great posts here. Use the search box and read the posts entitled "What not to do", "Let me fall all by myself" and "letter from an addict". These are great posts that will explain it all much better than I can!

If he does get into solid recovery, then there may be a future for you somewhere down the line. There is no way on the planet to have a healthy relationship with a using meth addict. Methamphetamines, as you know, cause such personality changes and also causes anger outbursts and violence. It is not safe to be with him while he is using meth.

He will need to focus on recovery and himself first for a long while after he gets clean. Most professionals recommend not starting relationships until you are clean for at least a year! I actually think that is a bit soon. I am in recovery and I can tell you that after being clean a year, I was still in the infancy of my recovery and I was not healthy enough to start a new relationship. In recovery, we need to put ourselves first as we learn a new way of life.

I wish you all the best life has to offer. Keep reading and coming here...lots of wonderful people with a lot of great advice!
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