My Husband And Xanax
Posted: March 6, 2017, 7:28 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: March 6, 2017

So my husband and been together 2 years. He had a drug problem in the past.. Mostly with opiates. He is on the suboxone program right now which I have asked him over and over again to not do it.. I don't see that he needs it and we can't afford it. And there will be these times when I know he takes something.. Cause he is just nodding off. A week before our wedding he got arrested and charged with a DUI.. I forgave him. And beofre that he fell asleep when we were having sex! And Thanksgiving dinner he was nodding off in front of the whole family.. We have two kids. I am just so lost. I don't know if he actually has an addiction.. Because he doesn't take them all the time.. That I know of. Butbhe will deny it over and over again. And the times I have proof of it is when he admits. He keeps promising that he will change. Yesterday was the worse. I found a blue crushed up pull in the countertops and kitchen floor.. Thank God our 1 year old didn't find it first. It was Xanax. He tried to tell me it was Sprinkle dust. Whatever that is. I had to go to work. And I couldn't even trust him to watch the kids so they went to my moms. Well she wanted to go get our other car from him and when she walked in the house he was asleep on the couch with a loaded gun next to him! And the car outside in the driveway running. Earlier that day he was sending crazy texts.. And I am terrified. I was afraid to come home alone last night.. Afraid of what I might find. But like I said he doesn't use it all the time. I keep telling him over and over next time you use them in going to leave you.. And it's like an empty threat. I don't want to leave him.. But I really feel like nothing is gonna change. We will be back to this in a few weeks.. And I just am so tired and don't want to keep going in a circle with him... I'm confused and lost on what to do.
Posted: March 7, 2017, 11:48 AM

Posts: 288
Joined: October 12, 2006

I think the first thing you should do is : Educate yourself on what addiction is. Im very surprised that after you listed ALL the Incidents that have happened because of his drug use , you are not sure if he's an addict. ...or maybe you are also in denial? In any case you really should get your kids out of this situation before the state does it for you. Drugs and guns do not mix....this is a recipe for DISASTER . Start with the basics...get safe and then educate yourself by reading all the pasts post on board up on addiction....go to ALANON for wisdom and support. Distance yourself so you can get some clarity on how absolutely serious this situation is. Keep showing up here and ask questions. Reading material on addiction is great but there is nothing that will impact you more than hearing from those who have been on both sides of this coin.Please be safe.



I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power,love and a sound mind.
Posted: March 7, 2017, 1:10 PM

Posts: 106
Joined: February 20, 2017

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's hard especially when there are little ones involved. Go with your gut cause your gut knows. I knew when my son was doing Zanax because he would make my whole body shake like a leaf. His eyes would shine like head lights. Keep coming here I've learned so much from the family I'll never meet give me. They have given me so much strength and gave me back son of my sanity. I will keep you in my prayers. Set boundaries and stick to them it's so hard but it get easier.

Sending hugs your way.

Posted: March 7, 2017, 2:55 PM

Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016

Hi R--

I am so sad for you and the situation you and your kids are in! It isn't a safe one and needs to change immediately!!! If there is an incident involving drugs and guns in your home with those babies--the state will take your kids!

Don't know your living arrangement, but if you can either get him to leave or take the kids and leave (maybe go to your moms??). Then I would file an injunction against him to keep him away. If he contacts you I would list the boundaries and let him know in no uncertain terms that he needs to get help and you will not be part of this life he has chosen nor will you expose your children to it! Then stick to it!

If you continue the way it is ,it is definitely a recipe for a big disaster!! Whether he takes drugs occasionally or not is irrelevant! He takes them period and the results and effect it has on you and the kids is nothing but inexcusable and needs your immediate attention!!

Prayers for you and your kids--Lori
Posted: March 7, 2017, 7:33 PM

Posts: 243
Joined: August 18, 2016

I echo what everyone is saying. Your first responsibility is to those kids! If an incident occurs involving drugs, guns or domestic viloence, the state will take your kids.

If you can't stay at your mom's, call a local women's shelter. It isn't what anyone wants to do, but when you are protecting children, you have to do what you have to do.

He is unpredictable and unsafe. Never leave the children in his care and I personally would not be alone with him.

Your husband is definitely an addict. Read all you can to further your addiction I.Q. This is never and easy road, but when you are making safety decisions for children, all of a sudden things tend to become crystal clear!!

Also, is your husband on a suboxone program or is he just getting it off the street? Why do you think he doesn't need it? Just trying to get some background so I can help a bit better!

Wait..just read he is on a suboxone program after an addiction to opiates. Suboxone can be a great tool to help with opiate addiction, but it has no effect on benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, valium or klonopin. That doesn't mean that the suboxone isn't working for his opiate addiction...but it does mean that he will need other treatment for his xanax addiction. If he is taking Suboxone as prescribed, it blocks the effects of other opiates and the person can't get "high". However, some try to mix other drugs, such as xanax just to feel something! Again, Suboxone can be a great tool for opiate abuse, but it only works for opiates, unfortunately!

This post has been edited by lolleedee on March 7, 2017, 7:37 PM
Posted: March 9, 2017, 12:10 AM

Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015

Hi, I don't have a husband that's an addict but my daughter is one. So I know the hell you are going through. I don't know if you are aware of it or not but Suboxone is to block the craving for opiates. Opiates being heroin and pain pills of sorts. He can't just stop taking Suboxone because he will start having painful withdrawals. So while you want him off it and I'm sure he wants off it's just not that easy. He would have to be weened off it and the same with the xanex too. You can't just stop! Read the message board Suboxone and the other one Xanax. Some people are on opiate blockers for 10 years more or less. Methadone is another medicine for opiate addiction. How long has he been addicted to opiates?
I agree with the other woman who advised you on here. You can't trust someone who is on drugs of any sort to think clearly. They can act different from one minute to the next. Please be wary around your husband and get the gun out of the house if you intend to stay there. This is a dangerous situation for you. If someone gets to calling the police on you or him. Then the department of human services will get involved with your kids safety too. I hope things get better for you. Be safe! Take care. Mary.💛

This post has been edited by Mandm on March 9, 2017, 12:13 AM
Posted: March 10, 2017, 2:33 PM

Posts: 96
Joined: November 13, 2015

I am so sorry for what you have to go through. I was taught to trust your gut. If you think they are using drugs, they most likely are. Wishing this disease away doesn't work. Our only power is knowledge. There are a lot of helpful books out there. Codependent no more & addict in the family are a couple of good ones. You have to remember that our addicts don't set out to hurt us but they all do lie. They will do & say anything to get their fix. Take care of yourself & your children.
Posted: March 10, 2017, 7:44 PM

Posts: 1759
Joined: June 27, 2016

hi - I strongly suggest you remove the guns from the home. I think you can bring them to the police station - or lock them in a safe in another location. does he have permits for the gun(s) ?
Idk what paperwork is involved if you bring to police station.
If there's no permit, he should not legally have the gun. If he has a permit, he should not have the gun in the house. The police can hold it. I would say it is not safe for you and your kids or your mom, to be in the home if the gun(s) are there. If you call the police about it, they can remove the gun(s). such a scary situation.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on March 10, 2017, 8:08 PM
Posted: March 11, 2017, 9:49 PM

Posts: 19
Joined: October 29, 2016

I would bet He is snorting his Xanax. He is a recovering addict. I am addicted to pain meds from taking pain meds for chronic pain,for cancer. Which led to me snorting them for a quicker high, I also use to take Xanax, For 8 years.I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer many years ago and given Xanax obviously to calm me down. I was never told the terrible withdrawal of Xanax or how your body becomes dependent on them, I just knew they helped me calm down. Well after many years I wanted to escape I started snorting my pain meds and my Xanax. I had to switch docs and ran out of Xanax. It was the absolute worst withdrawal EVER!! If he's falling asleep he is absolutely taking way more than he should. If you found one crushed he's snorting them. Look around for straws in places he could put them, a pill crusher somewhere? Mine was always just in a box in my bathroom drawer, I had to switch to Diazepam to work my way off Xanax I thought I was gonna die coming off of it. I was up for 7 days straight when I withdraw, heart palpitations, head buzzing awful!! I will NEVER touch Xanax again!. It may seem weird to some but I am still addicted to pain pills but never thought of Being"Addicted" to Xanax. MY body was "Use" to Xanax but I didn't crave the high like i Do pain pills... If your hubby was a pill addict he just switched to another pill and probably abusing the Xanax as he did the pain pills. Trust me I did and Lied to my hubby all the time- when I fell asleep all the time I'd say"I was up early, Wow I had a long day" always something! An average person will NOT fall asleep at dinner just doesn't happen, be careful of and when he comes off them! They are worse than any pain Med or drug withdrawal EVER!!! I've kicked Xanax now have to pain pills. Sometimes I think Kicking Cancer a** 10years ago was easier than kicking pills!!! If I only knew then what I know now I NEVER wouldve picked up a pill NEVER! Stay Strong and don't believe his lies!! Best of luck
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