I Fear My 22 Yo Student Is Addicted. Need Advice.
Posted: December 22, 2016, 10:18 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: December 22, 2016

My daughter goes to school away from home. She has been hospitalized due to xanax/alcohol combo more than once. I quit funding her and she now dates a dealer. Since I don't give her enough money, she has done some paid escort stuff for money (she doesn't know I know). She is probably an alcoholic as well.

She has come forward only to tell me how she has things under control and is doing well but there are far too many warning signs -weight loss, lethargy, extreme forgetfulness (repeating stories same day), grades suffering...

I have no idea what to do.
Posted: December 23, 2016, 11:36 PM

Posts: 1757
Joined: June 27, 2016

sorry that no one has replied. Keep reading posts - the old posts. Read 'What not to do" it really works if you can stick to it. read the other information on the tabs - find treatment, beyond recovery. something for you to realize is that they can not quit on their own, even if they want to , it is not easy. Next - quitting is the first step - it takes many months and support to reverse the addicted behavior and time to 'get your normal life back'

Use the internet to find more information about what help is available in your community.

Look into Smart Recovery and Addicts Mom - websites.

keep looking, keep trying. Keep telling your daughter good information about help.
keep coming back here. let us know how you are doing after the holidays!
Good luck!

PS. do not pay for school anymore. let her do school when she is ready to succeed. don't pay for her party away from home.

It is a sad situation. if you have stopped supporting her, and she continues. it is sad and scary and very heartbreaking. we have been there. we are with you. be strong and keep optimistic.

if you cant save her, you need to save yourself, which then saves her. pray and send her positive thoughts.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on December 23, 2016, 11:41 PM
Posted: December 28, 2016, 9:25 AM

Posts: 384
Joined: October 25, 2016

I would bring her home and quit paying for her to live at school. She will not succeed the way she is going and you are only supporting her bad behavior. Tell her you will not pay her way anymore because of xyz and she will have to be in a program and work if she lives with you. She could maybe go to community college when she is ready. Being busy is good. She may have too much play time in that college town. Be prepared, she might decide to pay her own way rather than live by your rules but she could change her mind after she finds out how hard it is without your help. You may need to give her time to suffer a bit. She is headed in that direction anyway you would just be speeding things up. That is better than dragging things out for years with their behavior continually getting worse. I believe you have a better chance of turning things around if you stand firm earlier than later.

This post has been edited by BugginMe on December 28, 2016, 9:41 AM

Posted: March 5, 2017, 12:44 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: March 4, 2017

I am in the middle of this same situation with my 19 year old son now, we don't know what to do. He has such a tremendous opportunity at his amazing college but is tanking, are so torn up with not wanting to take this opportunity away but being slapped in the face with it not being the thing that motivates his sobriety.
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