Don't Know What To Do.
Posted: July 13, 2016, 7:58 AM

My bf became an addict and has finally decided to quit. Going on almost 2 weeks now. During his state of highness he became very paranoid and delusional. Which is still on going at the moment.
He would accuse me of cheating on him with many men, most that I don't know. No matter what I said he wouldn't believe me, yet I spent pretty much all my time with him when I wasn't at work.
After that new started to accuse me of something - that I had people spying on him, putting cameras in his ceilings via the roof to watch him, that they were trying to become between us. Once again i tried to tell him that it's not real and it's the effect of the drug. He didn't and still doesn't want to know about and thinks it really happening.
To him I'm dishonest about everything and all I do is lie to everyday and hurt him with all of this.
I have no idea what to do anymore. I have read him information about the drug and side effects when what to except when quitting.
Yet he still thinks in his mind that I am doing all this to him still. And I keep thing to tell him he is wrong what he thinks I'm doing is not real etc. but he just keeps telling me to be honest, stop lying all the time etc. when all I've done is be honest as I cannot lie to him, despite the terrible time it has been due to his addiction I just can't lie.

How can you tell an addict or one trying to quit that what they are thinking is happening or hurting them isn't real, not reality, so they can stop hurting themselves mentally and emotionally and the people around them?
Posted: July 13, 2016, 8:17 AM

Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011

Stop choosing addicts as BFs and your problems will go away.

Your BF sounds like most addict/alcoholics I have known for nearly 30 yrs.
I found that quit drinking/using and working the AA/NA programs works.
It works for me and millions of others.

He is addicted to the drugs and you are addicted to him.
You both are very sick and need help badly. I hope you can see that.

AA/NA will help him and Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you.

I wish you both the best.

Bob R

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line:

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste

Copy & paste



--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.

...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.

--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !

---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.

---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.

... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.

---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .

"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr

WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
Posted: July 13, 2016, 8:45 AM

He become an addict during our relationship!
I know he needs help, he just refuses. He went to 1 meeting and said he is nothing like them, but it scared him enough to quit as he doesn't want to like them.
Posted: February 6, 2017, 2:35 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: February 6, 2017

I can't tell u how many ppl I know have put hidden cameras tracking devices,hack into their phone etc on their gf or bf.If ppl are telling you this and his doing meth more then likely it's true. This will escalate and it just gets worse next he's gonna insists he herd a guy in the house and that ur hiding him..been down that road it's a nitmere.
Also remember that ppl only acuse others of things when they are doing it themselves.

Either Way theres no happy ending. If and when ur ready to leave do it when he's asleep or not home. Getting out the door will be next to impossible if he is aware.
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