post replypost new topic
30 Year Old Son On Drugs


Posts: 1
Joined: January 23, 2016


Posted: January 23, 2016, 7:45 PM
What do I do now? 30 year old son. Out of prison for 6 months, family support with an apartment, car, job, phone and more. Wanted to believe he was getting his life together. As soon as he has money, he cannot leave his drug friends alone. Been messed up several times. We are paying his bills because they are in our name. Don't want him home with drugs. What do we do now? Please help.


Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015


Posted: January 26, 2016, 7:34 AM
You shouldn't need to let him live with you. Enabling is doing anything for him that he should be doing for himself. My son is a 29 year old heroin addict. Our life got so much more peaceful once we made the decision that he could not live with us anymore. He has been on the streets but is currently crashing at a friend's. It's not your responsibility or ours to take care of our grown children. Good luck.
Michelle

--------------------
Michelle


Posts: 2
Joined: February 15, 2016


Posted: February 15, 2016, 2:39 PM
WOW - your story and mine sound identical. Although he's been out or prison longer, everything else matches. I just got him to rehab again a week ago today. He's already telling me how "hard" it is. Truth is, I think his PO was looking for him and maybe that played a part in him going to rehab. To add to my stress, my husband will not allow him back into our home. We are raising his son (he's 10) and has been with us for 5 years. I've not told my son this yet because i know when i do it's going to be nothing but constant headaches for me!


Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007


Posted: February 15, 2016, 10:08 PM
QUOTE
I just got him to rehab again a week ago today...


This is one of those things he should be doing for himself. Addicts are resourceful people and can easily find their own way into rehab if that's what they want. They can also find FREE NA/AA meetings and get clean/sober without any help from us. Doing this is more about you and your needs than him and his. If you are already raising his child I would say you are doing more than enough...let him find his own way so you can find yours. Take care of yourself, your husband, and your grandchild...you CAN be peaceful without his ever getting clean...you really can.

Peace ~ MomNMore


Posts: 2
Joined: February 15, 2016


Posted: February 17, 2016, 4:01 PM
Thanks MomNMore - entering was his idea but once again I'm having to pay for it. It's just not fair to me! I should be enjoying my later years, but far from it! When he does these things it puts such a strain on my marriage. My husband has been better to him than his own father and never fails he gets crapped on for his kindness.


Posts: 1
Joined: March 29, 2016


Posted: March 29, 2016, 12:24 PM
My nephew OD'd at 30, and my sister and her husband did everything you could do. They paid for the best rehabs and gave him anything they could, and then they gave him nothing. They begged him to stop, they demanded that he stop, they did it all. They moved him in their home, so they could take care of him, and then they told him that he had to move out. He got paid on that Friday, March 15- and he was dead by morning at his grandma's house. There is nothing you can do at all, what's so ever. Just never give up on him, and never walk away. It's completely out of your hand's. It's in God's hands and we have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I understand your son also because I'm a recovering heroin addict myself. I would talk to God all the time in my head for almost 10yrs, and I just couldn't shake the way heroin made me feel when I used it. Then that's when I figured it out (what would help me stop for good) and I started getting on my hands and knees and begging God to take away me loving the feeling when I would use. And about 6 months later He did just that. It wasn't until I no longer had any desire to feel like that anymore I finally stopped using. My children never gave up on me or anyone else in my family. When you see your son wether he's high or sober, just tell him that you love him. And take it one day at a time and let it go. Take care
post replypost new topic