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Posted: January 20, 2016, 3:22 PM
Hello,
I am a 23 year old law student, who has a serious problem. I am addicted to marijuana and can not stop smoking it. In the past I tried to stop at least 10 times, every time unsuccessfuly. I really don`t know what to do, since marijuana is slowly taking my life from me. Everday I have to cope with an urge to smoke. Even when I run out of weed I start searching for some left overs in my grinder, pipes... I live with my family and girlfriend and none of them knows about my problem. somehow I managed to hide it from them for the past 3 years or so. When not smoking I am quite smart and have actually grades that put me in top 5% of my class, also I scored 145 on IQ test . However, this doesnt help me much when I constantly feel amotivated, lazy and in the mood for some smoking. I really want to stop but am afraid that I will never be able to leave that part of my life behind me. Also to mention, my family seems to have quite strong addictive traits (I could say it runs in my blood). I would really appreciate any advice, personal strategy or help I can get. I read alot of self help books and understand that it is only in my head. A habit that keeps reenforcing itself everytime I get baked. The hard part are my constant urges to smoke when I am sober. If I am busy doing something fun, then I usually dont have problems staying away from weed. But when I know, I will be home alone for some hours and there is really nothing EMERGENCY situation stuff to do, there is almost 100% probability I will smoke. Please help me overcome this s***ty addiction :( | ||
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Posted: January 20, 2016, 5:14 PM
But try this in the meantime, in order to quit smoking weed, you must link pain to smoking and pleasure to quitting. This is how I quit smoking weed. Create an immediate sense of urgency to stop smoking weed. Link intense and massive pleasure to not smoking weed AND massive pain to continuing to smoke weed. It’s getting to the point where you say “enough is enough”. Where being enslaved to weed creates so much pain that you take MASSIVE action to quit. In order to get you into a state of “needing” to quit, you must focus on what being addicted to weed has costed you in the past, now and what it will cost you in the future. But it doesn’t end there, not only must you know the true cost of smoking weed, you must FEEL it as well. When you feel the true cost of consequences you begin to change your emotional state towards weed from something that’s fun to something that’s detrimental in your life. Why must you feel it? Because what affects your decision to smoke is dependent on how you feel, your state. The key to quitting is learning to tap into a state of desperately needing to quit through linking pain to continuing to smoke. How is this done? Through asking the right questions. Questions are the reason you feel the urge to smoke and questions are the reason you decide to smoke. Every time you make a decision you either consciously or unconsciously ask yourself a question. Think about it, let's say you're coming home from work stressed out, and you decide to smoke. What caused you to smoke? Most likely you asked yourself “What can I do to relieve stress?” and boom! Your brain begins looking for the quickest way to de-stress and weed becomes the answer and then you begin to crave weed. Let’s say you’re watching television and you see a movie of people smoking weed, and lets say you’re attempting to quit, but when you see those guys smoking you ask yourself, “man, i wonder how much fun they’re having?” and boom! Your brain will start looking for the answer through telling you how it would feel to be high, and you’ll begin to feel cravings. But what would happen if rather than asking how it would feel to be high, you ask yourself, “what will it cost me if I begin smoking weed again?” I bet your brain will come up with answers that will make it seem less pleasurable and fun. Ok it’s your turn to do some work! TASK Take a sheet of paper and answer the following questions: 1. What will it cost if I don't stop smoking weed right NOW? (include emotional, spiritual, physical and professional consequences) 2. How will it affect my family life if I don't stop smoking weed right NOW? 3. How will it affect my self esteem if I don't stop smoking weed right now? 4. Where do I see myself in 5 years if you don't stop smoking weed right NOW? 5. If I never started smoking weed, where would my life be right now? 6. What benefits will I get if I stop smoking weed right now? (not tomorrow, or next week, but now) 7. Where will I be 5 years into the future if I stop smoking weed right now? This post has been edited by moderator on January 20, 2016, 10:47 PM | ||
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Posted: January 21, 2016, 12:48 AM
I too was a heavy smoker, waking up in the morning and firing up a bowl, running out of weed and scraping my grinder for specks or taking Rez hits from a pipe. Personally I have other issues in my life and I was using marijuana so I didn't have to think about or deal with them. I had come to this realization some time ago, but found it impossible to stop. I only quit because of a run in with the law and if I get caught again I WILL go to jail due to it being my 3rd strike.(even though I had less than 1/16 combined between both citations) Even with the threat of jail time, I wasn't sure if I could quit. Unfortunately it had to get to that point for me to make serious changes, but it doesn't need to get to that point for you. You have already jumped the first hurdle in your journey, admitting the problem to yourself. Next you need to TALK TO SOMBODY!!! I can not stress that enough. Since at first I couldn't bring myself to admit my problem to any of my friends or family, I began seeing a counseler. After my first couple meetings with her it felt like the weight of the world was being lifted from my shoulders and for the first time I felt as though I could deal with my problem(s). Not because she gave me some profound insight or advise, but because I was finally able to get everything off my chest. Since then I have talked in length about the subject with my parents and closest friends. I found the more a became open and honest about my problem, the easier it became to deal with the stress and anxiety associated with it. I still think about smoking, but every day it gets easier and easier. I'v now been sober for over a month for the first time in 12 yrs. Hopefully this helps.
I've been there -- You can do it | ||
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Posted: January 21, 2016, 10:24 AM
It is so simple....
Just do not smoke! ...and go through the pain. Obviously you will have to change that routine too! We are all babying ourselves too much. Pain, pain, pain... It will hurt. Be brave. Good luck. Yes, life is a howling void of nothingness to the left-brain. That is why you must use both sides of the brain! Look, I know that the Earth is in a real state right now. We are all literally under attack from some of the absolute worst pieces of s*** to have ever existed. Part of this attack is to sever you from the truth. A truth so profound that it would change everything immediately and nullify any attempt to enslave us. You see how the addiction comes as a response to this kind of world. A lost world where you cannot achieve your hardwired need for control and certainty, a need that is your very right as a conscious being capable of such a life. A happy and beautiful life that you would want to spread to the very edges of the cosmos and time. The attack is to sever you from the facts about yourself which allow you to lead this life. These facts are: Magic Your Gods Your heart's desire YOU... CAN'T.... DIE... (Seriously, this is the biggest one of all. The part of you which you feel as you, cannot exactly go away. It dims in the body (such as during sleep), and we can get so caught up in our brains that we forget the pure awareness feeling. But unless you truly wish it in reality, you cannot perish and shall not. Even if you are one of the tricked, whom has let death be a reality and now slumber in the Gray somewhere, you are going to wake up, somewhere, sometime. "The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.") Which brings us to another big truth, that your reality is more real than another's. And when you get confirmation of your ideas in the world, it will get more and more real. Just be scientific in your record keeping and you will be surprised at the hidden truths all around you. And above all, as a mandatory fact, tell no one of the secrets of the world you discover. I mean this, so intently; heed that warning well. So we forget these things, and we feel helpless, hopeless and afraid. We start to derive nourishment from other things instead of the Flaming Golden Milk of the Wondrous Mystery. That entire part is forgotten. And we live off of survival alone. Fear Survival + ------- get high! ...and get a glimpse of the Gold.... Do the work. Make the Golden Life! | ||
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Posted: January 21, 2016, 11:44 AM
Thank you all for encouragement. I answered those questions and I can see clearly that my life with marijuana is going nowhere. I will be probably still living home or in some rental place, doing some job I dont want, regreting my choices and thinking how f**** up I am, to not being able to stop.
Anyway, today is my DAY 1 of quitting/"being clean". I decided to write here everyday since in my country, there is no MJ anonymous or something like that. Admiting my problem to family wouldnt be smart, since they would probably kick me out, leaving me in quite depressing situation =/. I have an appointment with psychiatrist, but it is on March 15th, so until then I will do my best, keeping some kind of online diary on this site. I do know that MJ is just an excuse for me to not cope with reality: -school -problematic family -laziness... The most difficult thing are these urges I get from time to time where I kinda know I am gonna lit up, knowing that it is a bad bad decision and doing it anyway, regreting it few minutes later. I dont even enjoy being high anymore, it is just some kind of habit (it is the way I mainly lived past 2 years ). | ||
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Posted: January 21, 2016, 10:20 PM
Quitter, your story and what you're going through has actually helped me out a lot, knowing that there are others who are dealing with some of the same issues. Some of the things you posted really hit home with me. I too know what it feels like to want to quit, know you need to quit, and smoke anyway, only to regret it moments after getting high.
Not being able to talk to your parents about this is very understandable, but you should consider talking to your girlfriend or a close friend. Talking to a professional does and will help, but talking to somebody that knows you and cares about you can give you that last bit of confidence and support you need to quit. If they turn their back on you for asking for help and support, then they aren't truly a friend at all. Personally I have had to cut ties with a couple "friends" who just couldn't (or weren't willing to) understand what I was going through, but my true friends have stuck by me. Don't let somebody be your friend/girlfriend if they aren't willing to be there for you when you really need them. In a way, what happened to me was a blessing in that I was able to find out who my TRUE friends were. Some of my current friends still smoke, but they understand and respect my decision/need to quit and have become some of my biggest supporters. | ||
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Posted: January 22, 2016, 8:37 AM
Day 2 of being clean.
To get past first day yesterday, helped me get motivated to stay clean today also. Day still isnt over but, having my schedule full, I am quite confident that I will make it easily today. "ivebeenthere" it may sound wrong, but I am glad there is someone like me too. Friends would help me, I am sure of that (our friendships were tested prior in some serious situations and we came out even stronger), but I do not want them to see me in that light. As said, nobody beside me really knows about this problem. I understand the importance of talking about your problems and that is also the reason I started this thread. To find a support of people who would definitely understand me or at least know what I am talking about. My friends smoke too, but not that often. One of them even grows his own weed but smokes only occasionally. I was googling a little bit about addictions lately and found out it is almost 50% dependant on your genetics. Well, I guees that is one of my problems - two of my grandparents had strong alcohol addictions and their son (my father) also had some troubles staying of cigarettes. He officially dont smoke anymore, but from time to time I can tell he was smoking because of smell + I found a box of cigarettes in his car few times. Fact, that he smokes really rarely is at least a sign it is still possible to quit something or at least decrease usage by huge margin. Thinking about some words on this thread I discovered that my place is so full of memories and habit cues of smoking weed that it is probably one of the reasons, every time I return home feel this urge to smoke. For me it was often a situation like this: -come home from 4 hour job around 11am. -nobody is home (two options): - I have a stash, I will lit up - I dont have a stash, I will call my dealer Even when deleting his number I somehow managed to get it back, with excuses of deleting my contact list etc. I really never thought I would be addicted in my life. Hell, I was totally against alcohol and drugs till I was 17 and never really tried a thing.. I am considering of taking some shrooms. Last time I took them I had quite a few breakthrougs regarding my anger, fears, personality etc. Also there were some articles talking about stopping addiction with help of psylocibin, so maybe it is worth a shot. As some of you stated; I have to accept a fact, MJ is ruining my life and will continue to do so, until I stop for good. I also fear I will never be able to just smoke few times a year (vacations, birthdays or some fun adventures) with my friends. MJ is still something I see as a best drug ever because effects are just insanely nice and if a person is able to use it only on special occasions I dont see a problem with using. The same thing as a good wine with food I guess. Enough for today, have to get back to work ;) | ||
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Posted: January 24, 2016, 6:25 AM
Yesterday was day 3 of my sobriety. I kept my schedule full and wasnt thinking about weed at all actually. At least till the evening when I met some friends, who proposed smoking some weed, but I somehow managed to convince them not to. It was a good night anyway and was really glad they decided not to smoke.
what I noticed is vividness of my dreams. Prior those 3 day I was dreaming really rarely, but last 2 days my dreams are really intense and vivid. nice change, I must admit. new motivation I got is curiosity what changes are there for me in longer term (health, memory, personality etc...) Can anyone here, who got through tell what was changes that occured to them? And how long in sobriety did they arise. Today is day 4 and I have also plenty on my plate, so it should go smoothly. I am also constantly in company of my family or girlfriend to minimize risk of thinking about getting stoned and calling any friend to get together for a smoke. | ||
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Posted: January 25, 2016, 12:13 PM
Hello to anyone reading this thread.
Today is day 5 and it was the first day since I quit, that I felt really strong urge to smoke. Somehow I managed to get my s*** together (mainly by watching some motivational videos and reading few pages of motivational book) and decided I will go for a 1 km (5minute) run every time this urge comes up. I started running anyway and this "punishment" should help me in 2 ways: -increasing my stamina -helping to overcome urges I did get a little bit of that runners high a few times now, but if I get high by my own body`s endocannabinoid system it doesnt count, does it :P ? Now I am sure this day will go on easily when my family and gf are home. I just have to stay strong in those hours when I am alone, without any real obligations and activities. Best of luck to all, quitting right now | ||
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Posted: January 25, 2016, 7:21 PM
Nice job, keep it up quitter!
The vivid dreams are kind of crazy hey? None of them were were bad for me, but some were pretty powerful. Almost as though my brain was trying to work out my issues while I was sleeping, it was like having my own personal movies in my sleep. it took a couple weeks before they started to become less frequent. Another thing I noticed after quitting(maybe a week or two after) is that I became much more social and charismatic. I've always been that way, but now take more pride and joy in it. Another thing I've taken more joy in is food, not just eating, but making it. I eat healthier now than at any point in my life, and it feels great. Keep it up! P.s. If you don't wanna tell your friends why your quitting, I've would say something like "I feel like clearing my head a little". I found this got me out of smoking and my friends never questioned it in the slightest. | ||
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Posted: January 25, 2016, 10:59 PM
Man, 14 days of no smoking and i finally grabbed my balls and asked this girl out from a shop near me, the rush was unbelievable. I have been properly getting high on life, people, music, books, making food. It is all in the mindset. Like the opposite of a hypochondriac. I think i am at the top of this mountain you have to climb and then it all starts to get easier.
For those who are all depressed - it feels like it'll never end, but you got to know it will. do pressups, join the library, pick up a guitar, make a packed lunch and go for a walk from sunrise till sunset, watch the stars, have a cry, go scream where no one can hear you. read the power of now by eckhart tolle, some herman hesse, especially siddthartha and friends, some sholem asch, some israel joshua singer. this website is jokes whoever made it is a genius. we are all one family under the sun and stars and i really sense that from the comments. There are christians out there who believe in god so much that they have been documented drinking poison and they're bodies create the antidote as though by a miracle. It it the power of the mind over the body. You are the captain of your ship. you make the choices, but the choice has to be made. i lied to myself for ages and then came back to it, driving around in my white benz with some og kush, listening to de la soul, the positive reinforcement kept me hooked. things left me, i sold the car, my parents are dying, my friends work all day and so do i. nevertheless now i hear original music as i walk around as though i was stoned, but miles better - EVERYTHING COMES FROM A DEEPER PLACE NOW, EVERYTHING IS REAL AND THE MISTY PANE IS ALMOST SMASHED. I am getting the hang of lucid dreaming - ironically i was chilling with hunter s thompson on a cloud smoking the s*** and flying around, but man is that my new drug of choice - free, always available, healthy. think about it, the more you rent a look at the face of god the worse you will feel when you sit down on a sofa empty handed. Your perspective will be skewed. However, an old mother in a war torn country right now who works a horrible job, horrible hours with not much family will get stoned from sitting on her sofa maybe with her son. It's all about perspective. get up extra early, drink your water, put on swing low sweet cadillac by dizzy gillespie do your pressups, get some fruit and veg maybe a sandwich and a book and occupy an area of space you never occupied before, push yourself, do the scary s***. when you come home to go to bed it wont be hell. there is this study on what affects happiness best and it is the pursuit of a new activity. I'd recommend a martial art so that if someone tries to hurt your mother you can put them to sleep - its healthy and you meet people. people are all the same everywhere, it is easy to hate and criticise. I was smoking 12.5 g of tobacco a day, spending 20 pounds a day on the high grade for 5 or 6 years. Life is hard, you got to match it with even more hardness, like a cat. peace you stoned monkeys | ||
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Posted: January 25, 2016, 11:17 PM
P.S
I was a lonely stone a lot of the time and depended on it for inspiration to make paintings and music, as well as smoking it with my friends whose lives really revolved around it. Life hasn't changed much I'll still see them and they'll still blaze except there are more hours to play with in a day (and the fact they are sedating themselves has become more evident than ever, in conversation, and in fact, their desire to join me on my quest for the truth, manifest in little pu-me-downs and stuff, lots of questions about how it feels). My mates are simply scared or unwilling to flick the swith and say f*** it i quit. On new years we all actually agreed 'yeah time to quit weed' to a barrage of 'yeah rite' and sarcasm. I will write them letter before I set sail from safe harbour to pursue my dreams - like mark twain says you will soon wake up and it will be 20 years later from now. when you cant sleep listen to midnight marauders by a tribe called quest for positivity and endtroducing by dj shadow to put colour into your grey surroundings. I am slowly becoming the guy I feel i was destined to be, simply by being present and taking no shortcuts to the truth. The feeling of love towards everyone who comes into contact with you is like a muscle, use it or lose it. same with memory. matter of fact, smoking before sleep (best, most romantic time to smoke) affects the way you file away your memories - as you are stoned as you sleep, and sleep is when your memories are filed into the cabinets marked long term and short term. Otis redding - a change is gonna come | ||
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Posted: January 25, 2016, 11:40 PM
sorry fellas and females
PPS it's like being on mdma when you reach the peak of the summit, the effects are reversed. I think i posted all this in the wrong thread - it is intended for those struggling with making the decision, the first real push (3-4 days and then two weeks i recon). Law student dude, i tried more than ten times to quit, but each time you go back to it you positively re-inforce the dopamine release 'beauty' of mary jane - it's the grand illusion. make your decision and stick to it. It will be easier. There are judges out there who smoke first thing in the morning, but all that does is allow them to drift through their days in a haze and that is a terrifying thought, having people like that run the court. Surely the jury just want to get back to their jobs? Be a man, man, never give up. Do your duty and remember the one person you will definitely live with for the rest of your life is yourself, so make sure you don't live with an arsehole. You have an important duty, and there are people out there who are crooked, those out there like these brothers I know whose single mother may already be dead from MS, one is working hard at law and one is a doctor. Guaranteed they aren't escaping their issues getting stoned with vocations as important as that, you dig? Sorry,but medicine doesn't taste nice - and you've got it so good. Change up your routine and surroundings so that you may leave it behind whilst letting it remain on the down low. write letters to your loved ones and dont act in anger. You will be great at your job if you are honest with yourself first. You have an important job to do bro, the greatest of changes start off with the smallest, most seemingly insignificant motions. Get the ball rolling, it's never too late. | ||
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Posted: January 26, 2016, 12:01 AM
quitter, you're a lot like my friend by the sounds of things. you must be driven by a fear of the unknown. he is simply too scared to do what needs to be done, blaming it on circumstance as you are blaming it on family. addiction is serious, yeah, but i can tell by the way you write that you wont make it - making it attempt no. 11?
I've gone through hell and back these last 14 days, you got to too. EVERY family has a history of mental health problems. You must really fill up every second of your time with real things to do, tiring things, things that are what life is. What kind of house maintainance can you crack on with at home? Wash your windows, re-paint rooms, do things which you cannot do high (too dangerous) and that you can blame the irritability on. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff I've sorted for my family over the last two weeks of hell. Re-arranged my room, tired myself out and demonstrated to my family I'm not pathetic - most importantly, slipped out of the old ways of thinking. COME ON MAN be like this chef who works in this kitchen - he had the same habit i did and now he's head chef, dating a cheerleader always cracking jokes, a legend. Countless other characters like him I met. Not pathetic stoners smoking away their issues. there's nothing to talk about the period in which you must go through hell - 4 month later you can still relapse. q-tip - 'i'm not an INVALID although i used to smoke the weed out, ali shaheed muhamed used to say i had to be out' Eat a smoothie for breakfast tomorrow, give away your stash. you're only making it worse for yourself. Or throw up your hands and blame it on your DNA, I know you will - that's why you like softly spoken words from 'people who understand me'. bruv everyone in the world gets the same thoughts. prove me wrong, please climb the bridge. | ||
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