High Function Addict? Or Smart User?
Posted: August 25, 2017, 8:20 AM

So lets start from the beginning I started using a few months after graduating high school, at first it was an experiment i was hanging out with a neighbor he had some offered me a hit i didn't know what it was sad no and later on ended up saying eff it lets try it just once... and at the time i was engaged. and to keep being honest with my fiancee i told her i tried it. this was weeks later and at the time was just that one time smoking. she got concerned told my family and they put me in counseling with our church well by that point s*** was so crazy i was already going back to it and that didn't help. i just turned to it more because my stress and worry went away i ended up getting kicked out of home fiancee left me, moved to some trailer park with fellow users I also ended up taking my connects place, not only was i using but i was slingin at 18-19 years old. and i did that for about a year untill an old ex contacted me we started talking and i decided to get clean and move in with her. well thats exactly what happened for about a year her and i had a beautiful daughter in this time and just after she was born i met this other girl around town we got to talking and this topic came up and she pulled a loaded bowl from her purse.... as you could guess i hit it and started up again. her and i started selling together and one day we got pulled over with a significant amount on us. if it wasn't for me having a clean record and valid drivers license we would have been booked that night. the officer knew her by name from previous arrests with this,so i took that as my clue and got out again, about six months after that i went to Texas on a business trip. there i found a guy to hook it up towards the end of my time there. when it came time to leave i still had some. so what did i do?? i brought it on the plane with me like an idiot. but i had an angel looking after me and i got home safe. since then I've been 4 years clean, until recently. I met a guy we hung out for a bit and then we came on this topic and wouldn't ya know. this guy was into this as well. I gave in and hit it again and this has been pretty consistent for about a month and a half now. i still go to work keep the house clean keep up on all my daily responsibilities i eat and sleep on a normal schedule, its taken place of my morning cup of coffee pretty much. unlike after high school where it took control of me i'm managing it. and i've quit cold turkey before and i could do it again. but i love myself on it. i'm so much more personable with customers at work, confident i'm the responsible adult i have to be, i just chose an alternative energy supplement. i've had another close encounter with law enforcement and got away again. I know this s*** is bad, but i live my life as if i wasn't using even though i am. sometimes i feel i should quit. but why do i need to quit when its not effecting my daily life. i'm holding down my job paying bills eating sleeping and being a father. i crave it a lot by the time my shift is over, and i give in almost every time, just one bump so i can still sleep. i want/feel i should quit. but i feel like i live my live better almost with it
Posted: August 27, 2017, 12:28 AM

You might not think you are addicted at this point and under the impression like so many others that you can control it. Sadly though your addiction clock is ticking and soon your going to want nothing else but this. You've been given chances to stop by having these narrow escapes with the law etc. Stop letting conversations with people you meet go towards drugs and people will stop offering you them. You have a child now. How would you like an addict for a daddy? Your dangerously close to addiction if your not already there.You need to quit for good or you'll lose everything.
Posted: September 11, 2017, 3:58 PM

Posts: 1757
Joined: June 27, 2016

take a look at your karma - you have gone to hell and back. you have gotten thru narrow escapes with the law. how long do you think your good luck will run..... stop. but it behind you. avoid the talks with strangers where this topic comes up. focus on your life with your family. put your efforts into your family's long term goals. I know you think you have it all under control, but you will look back in 20 years and see the time and $$ you wasted because you were not plugged into your family. you maybe thinking no one knows, maybe they dont know exactly, but maybe they can sense something is off. bad karma made hit you when you least expect it.
instead of avoiding stress, problem solve it, problems are not stressful when you are prepared and understand or anticipate the stressful problem. It may be the hiding that is stressful.

look into self help, mindfulness, alternative energy medicine to give you self confidence.

Posted: September 18, 2017, 1:40 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: September 18, 2017

You are dealing with the devil. Only a matter of time before it's tim to pay the piper..... With your soul. The devil comes to you looking like your best friend and smelling like a rose.... then, just when he's got you in the palm of his hand..... the devil will have his way with you. And it won't be fun.
Posted: September 25, 2017, 2:06 PM

Posts: 59
Joined: July 12, 2017


What about what you said makes you think you're a "smart" user? You're not being smart. Anyone who uses meth is stupid. Period. You KNOW what they use to make it and then add on whatever someone who makes it adds into their mix. You're playing Russian Roulette you really are.

You said you have a daughter right? Where is she at in this? Why isn't she your priority? You need to think about how your choices affect her.

Just stop. It's not worth it. You're addicted to meth. You need to find something that helps you whether it's rehab or go to meetings or whatever might help. Also stay away from meth dealers and users. If you keep returning to the environment you'll never stop.

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