Should Have Listened
Posted: June 4, 2016, 2:09 PM

I remember my mom always used to say "you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up, as long as you stay in school and learn. " I also remember those commercials that said "Youve got a right to say no" and the ones that said "this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs. " it had an egg that represented your brain and another was on a pan frying. I knew drugs were bad, but I chose to find out the hard way.
I am now hooked on this drug that I have made myself believe I need to survive. I have been poisoning myself for about at least 20years. I have done so much meth that I should have died by now. Seriously, smoking meth is the first and last thing I do every day. I can sleep and eat on it, no matter how much I consume. I know I need to stop while I still have a few brain cells left. I feel so worthless and ashamed. I know that my addiction is out of control and have made myeslf dependant on this poison. That said, I dont want to stop. Is there a way to make yourself want to want to stop? I havent been a single day without using for more than 12hours and during that time I get suicidal eventually find some excuse to use again. I think I need help, but I dont want to go to jail. I wish I would have listened to those comercials.
Posted: February 6, 2017, 3:18 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: February 6, 2017

In order to get high u need to come down.Your doing it to maintain so you not even getting anything out of it really. Your not gonna end up with a hangover, or be dope sick without it the next day or so. Day 2 is worse then day 1 and you deff sleep like no other regardless of u being able to sleep now. Week 2 is when u deal with effect of sleeping to much. Nite sweats, anxious waking up at 2-3 not being able to go back to sleep b4 u have to get up for sucks...
I'd use the money your gonna spend the next week and book ur self a vaca some place where u can relax asap. You'll feel better when u come back and hopefully it'll make u want to be able that kind of stuff and enjoy life. There's a whole big world out there with lots to do im willing to be you've been stuck in a bubble on same couch w same ppl on repeat for 20yrs's getting old
Posted: February 6, 2017, 5:24 PM

Posts: 1627
Joined: June 27, 2016

depending on what you are able to do, check into a detox, maybe Rehab and then live at a sober living in order to stay in a supportive, less tempting environment. Its a life style change. after 20 years, you will need some firm support in order to not relapse. or maybe you will relapse several times, at least you will begin to see the difference between using and not using. in may take a few months of not using in order to get to the better side of your feelings. another words - it gets worse before it gets better.
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