What's Wrong With Me?
Posted: March 4, 2016, 5:10 AM

I just have a quick question to ask and hopefully someone out there can help. I've been shooting meth for the last 5 yrs. However, I've gone from everyday use, to maybe once or twice every other week. But the longest I've been clean is probably 3 months..and I was in jail.
I would like to hear from some people who have been in recovery and been where I am. Stuck...I've got so much to lose, but still take the risk...why??? What are some things that helped you or still help you? Thank you
Posted: March 4, 2016, 11:49 AM

All I can tell you is this: I had 3 beautiful kids and a very abusive, narcissitic husband. Had I not gotten addicted to Meth (and the needle) he would never have been able take my children from me! Once he did, I had nothing left to live for and I went further into my addiction. He made sure to tell everyone we knew including my kids that I was an addict and that I did not want them. They have never truly forgiven me. That was 20 years ago and I still struggle with sobriety every day! Even after everything I have lost! I am 53, I have NOTHING! No job, no faimly,no money, no future, no self esteem! When I finally came out of my drug induced stuper I realized that the world around me had progressed; everyone was living their lives, going places, having fun. But my life had stood still...It is a very hard reality to come to terms with, believe me. Now at 53 EVERYTHING is much harder! I am looking for work but because of my lack of work history am looking at low level jobs. I have a college degree and am biligual but none of that matters now! Anyway, my point is NOTHING good comes from doing drugs!!!! Even occassionally. Especially meth. It will grab you and before you even realize what is happening, you will be in jail or on the streets or worse, simply have lost years of living!!!! Hang on to life!!! LIVE!! It's ok. Really. =]
Posted: March 4, 2016, 2:20 PM

Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011

I have been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous for over 25 yrs.

The 12 Steps saved my life and continue to save it daily.

The reason I am posting this reply, and not dead in 1989, is AA/NA.

AA/NA is in literally every town and city in the civilized world.
It works and it's FREE.

All the best.

Bob R

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf

Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf



--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.

...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.

--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !

---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.

---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.

... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.

---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .

"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr

WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
Posted: March 5, 2016, 11:37 AM

Wow! I've done every drug and was a herion Addict for a couple of years. When I used meth with a needle I was wrecked....like it scared me....I felt so gross and never injected it again. My man and I injected 3 grams and were up for days. We tore up the carpet in our apartment and thought we fought herion. It was nasty. I'm a bad drug addict. But Meth is one drug I could never do. I'm not sure how much you are injecting. If you're only doing it weekly can stop. What's wrong with you....youre a drug addict and you need to quit or you will ruin your life. Hope you get better!
Posted: March 25, 2016, 4:21 AM

I am currently addicted and also ask the same questions.. I pray to God each time but a few days pass and I'm back chasing.. I'm a big addict.. I absolutely hate everything about it..
Posted: March 28, 2016, 9:09 AM

Posts: 20954
Joined: October 17, 2003


We moved your post to Families/Partners of Addicts. The post is called Guilty.

- the moderators
Posted: April 1, 2016, 5:31 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: April 1, 2016

Look for help please it's never to late life is so beautiful and you're till on this earth for a reason. Look for counselling as well there must be a reason why you started doing it fix that emotional Issue. Go to church anything that you feel will help you. God bless you i will keep you in my prayers♡
  top of page  Top