Looking For Reasons To Love Myself. To Save Myself
Posted: February 11, 2016, 1:18 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: February 11, 2016

Life has its twist and turns , and they say God only gives you what you can handle. But there comes a breaking point some times and you start to feel hopeless and discouraged and forced to own everything you have been involved in. Everyone you've been in involved with and in my case left alone to be the reason all my problems have turned to problems. But I don't understand that concept .!!! Coming from anyone pointing the finger at me. I ve been married twice I have. been an addict of meth for atleast 21 years now. .I have 5 amazing children . that I can stand to be without . and have been for most. of there lives ...I would not care if I lost my life today because I see nothing acceptable about myself that pleased people or interest anyone for a good length of time unless I am willing to sleep with everyone. And then I am no longer interesting to them until they want to sleep with me again . namely men . I don't have a relationship with any woman because they don't seem to like me and most of the time there are no reasons known. I hurt, I cry I wonder often why why why?/I didn't choose drugs over my children . my life was so much of a mess and I had no direction because it seemed any direction I chose would have been damned to fall apart
Posted: February 11, 2016, 9:19 AM

Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011

I found direction and strength in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.

Millions of us addict/alcoholics do ... and it saves our lives.

Give them a call. What do you have to lose??

All the best.

Bob R

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf

Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf



--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.

...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.

--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !

---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.

---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.

... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.

---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .

"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr

WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
Posted: February 11, 2016, 9:37 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: December 19, 2015

hi mother of 5, I just want to let you know that even though I am not a meth addict and I cannot possibly understand why it has to make people feel so bad. I don't think less of people who do use. My son is a meth addict and I think he's one of the most loving people I know. I'm praying for you and your family to have a happy, long and prosperous future ahead
Posted: February 11, 2016, 10:06 AM

Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015

Hi there, I just read your post and I feel so sad for you. I'm not the best person to advise anyone because Lord knows I have my own worries. But I wanted to let you know I care and understand how you feel. I haven't lived your life but I've been so down at times that sometimes it's hard to see a way out. That's when you have to say to yourself "enoughs enough" dust yourself off and do something about it. It's hard I know but you have to take charge of you! No one else will so get tough with yourself. I would start with a visit to a doctor and tell her/him how you feel. It would be good for you to get a little help. I know you'll hate me for saying this but life is hard enough without taking drugs. If you want your life to get better try and get help to quit your drug use I am in no way getting on your case here or judging you. I am talking to you as a friend to another friend. Women are preyed on in this day and age and when you have a weakness like drugs you wont be taken seriously and that's when the Hawks come out. I see this with my daughter and I wish I could make her realize this too. The best way for you to feel differently about life is first to get clean! You already have 5 little hearts (your children) who love you and that is a lot of love for anyone to have in their life. So I say you should get clean first so that you can stand tall with pride and in doing this you will be the one calling the shots! I wish you well and your not alone as we're all here to help you as best we can. God Bless Mary.
Posted: June 2, 2016, 1:00 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I myself am struggling with this same problem. I know I am slowly killing myself and have not accomplished anything in my life. I know that my use of meth over the past 15years is to blame for this. I also know that I am not a bad person. I also know that unless I can find a way to quit my life isnt going to change. I know I need help but I am scared of being put in jail for being under the influence. I have never been arrested in my life and have absolutely no intrest on going there.
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