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Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004
Posted: January 29, 2018, 4:26 AM
Its been a while since I have posted, but this place has been a big help to me over the years.
A while back I didclose to a years worth of rehab in Tennessee and in California a couple times. I put together 9 months completely clean and I was doing really well, better than I had been since I was a kid. I was happy, meditating, going to meetings, and my life was getting better and better. Then for some reason, for no reason that I could figure out, I got a strong desire to use again(not a craving). I fought it off. At the same time I started feeling not so great, meditation became a meaningless burden, meetings became an absolute drag. My feelings were famialiar, like from those years and years ago, when I wasn't using and felt miserable. Finally I said to myself, well your gonna use anyway so you might as well get it over with. And I did. Of course that became a complete relapse. A few months later with everything quickly falling apart-I got back into detox rehab. One of the things I learned there was about a phenomenon of SWS--SECONDARY WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME. It is not an idea, it is a fact. Due to chemical brain changes while your brain heals, sometime between a few months and a year you can experience SWS. It's not like actual withdrawals but it can be nasty. I think it is helpful to be aware of this. In my case I thought I was back to feeling miserable all the time, so what was the point. Now I will be aware that if it occurs again, it won't last forever, so maybe I can choose more wisely. This post has been edited by Browndog113 on January 29, 2018, 4:28 AM -------------------- No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you | ||
Posts: 243
Joined: August 18, 2016
Posted: February 1, 2018, 5:15 PM
This phenomenon is known as Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS).
These are the symptoms that manifest themselves after the acute withdrawal is over. It includes, but is not limited to insomnia, restless leg syndrome, anxiety, depression, loss of interest in activities Etc. Post Acute withdrawal syndrome can easily lead to a relapse if it is not recognized and dealt with when it happens. If you are going through post-acute withdrawal syndrome reach out and get the help you need! | ||
Posts: 56
Joined: June 25, 2017
Posted: February 1, 2018, 8:05 PM
What I hated about w/d was the constant thinking of the pills, I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and stare off into nothingness,no appetite no fun. Bad nerve's thoughts wanted to jump out of my skin, what ever that feels like no calming feelings at all. Thought of all the bad things I did, my nose smelled every dame thing in the house outside, went to grocery store smelled cooking made me sick. Omg bad. When I wake up in the morn,no pills.omg my brain would think and think about how am I going to get them. Omg was a nightmare,went to sleep than woke up and though o god no pills went back to sleep for 5 min. god not again...and than when I did get them I felt high before I even picked them up got even sick when I took them because I was so dame excited,,ok
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Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004
Posted: February 1, 2018, 8:46 PM
You're right. It is PAWS. Nowhere as bad as original wds. But the sudden feeling of hoplisness, having lost desire again to live life, not being able to connect with others or spiritual activities and on and on and on, makes the recovering addict feel it is all for nothing. THE ANSWER TO THIS LIES IN AWARENESS OF PAWS. Knowing it is a real thing that is going to pass can enable the recovering addict to go on in recovery. At the time, I wasn't aware that PAWS was happening. I think this knowledge would have enabled me to get through it, maybe.
Now I have been clean again, but I am on suboxone. I might be on it for life. I am still having a hard time getting value or even going to meetings. Here in central florida it just seems to be the same tedious thing over and over again. I am sorry that this is so. When I was in Ca for rehab the meetings were so different-alive and welcoming were u almost always felt u belonged. -------------------- No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you | ||
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Posts: 56
Joined: June 25, 2017
Posted: February 3, 2018, 8:55 PM
Hello brown. Hope you feel better soon. I miss all of you Sammy bad. I loved her so.cowgirl all the older group...poopie
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Posts: 2268
Joined: October 17, 2004
Posted: February 5, 2018, 5:23 AM
Hello, its been a while. Im not noticing any of the old timers. We had some good discussions back then.
-------------------- No matter what right you did or what wrong you didn't do: When you're the black sheep, all blame belongs to you | ||
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