Where Is Marykat???
Posted: November 13, 2017, 11:36 PM


Posts: 633
Joined: April 4, 2016



Hey girl . . . haven't heard or seen a post from you in a while. Are you ok? Let a sistah know.

Sending hugs,
Lynn

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I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.


In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
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Posted: December 14, 2017, 1:18 PM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Lynn! I'm here..sorry to keep you hanging. I just lost a typed up response and spent forever trying to put the stupid code in multiple times to have it erased. Bright me didn't realize I was actually already logged in here but had to access different way. Ok..everything is alright. Today is four years off methadone which I guess is why I decided to come around. Wish I had sooner. Thanks for thinking about me! I do think about you too. I also wonder How con and Bonnie are. How have you been? I'll try to check in more. Also if I breakdown and get a fb I Will for sure let you know😉..doubt it though. Also if you get a LINE account my username is lostkat80 (i think???)
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Posted: January 10, 2018, 6:17 PM


Posts: 633
Joined: April 4, 2016



Hey MK . . . Happy holidays!!! Happy New Year!

I apologize for being MIA. I am learning that from late July (J's bday & anniversary of her 1st OD) through New Years is not a great time for me. Too many bdays, anniversaries & holidays. Family & friends expecting that we have "gotten over" this by now. So, we put on our mask . . . and make it through. I'm so glad that it is January 10th today. I feel like I can exhale

Congratulations!!! 4 years off of methadone!!! I'm doing a Snoopy Dance for you. So happy for you. You made me smile!! You should feel so proud and happy with yourself.

You are a success story!!! A bright & beautiful ray of hope. Thank you for sharing!!!

Any words of wisdom or advice to addicts who are in active use . . . or those struggling with their remission? Or those of us who love addicts?

The gang is doing okay. We miss you!!!

I pray that 2018 has been wonderful thus far. I hope that today was kind to you. Have a great evening and "talk" with you soon.

Lynn
xoxo





--------------------

I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.


In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
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Posted: January 11, 2018, 12:39 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Hi Lynn..don't apologize. I go MIA all the time. (though I then apologize too..lol) yeah..I've been checking board more frequently since last I wrote. I did think about the holidays and how must have been extremely hard on you. I almost said something...but didn't want to in case you were in good spirits..didn't want to bring you down. But then I guess acknowledgement is better than none. Actually felt kind of like a dumb a** for simply saying "how are you".
PLEASE don't tell me that family or friends have said those words. Or I know people can be so insensitive and try to guilt you into something and imply things like that. Maybe because of their selfishness of wanting to see you etc. Then I'm just taking guesses here. Yes..holidays are over, I'll take a big sigh with ya! :) thanks for the snoopy dance...you might have almost had to take that one back! Been house cleaning for lady, think I mentioned before..she's a hoarder..and also hoards all kinds of pills. The other day she wanted to SHOW me a bottle (as if I haven't looked at every label!) anyway starts with a 'v' with methamphetamine right on lable. So she's showing off what she's had stashed for about ten years. I asked if I could have one. Luckily she said "no I only have four left". Yeah Idk what I was thinking. That's right I wasn't..any day from period equals low impulse control. Well...I'm gonna try to go to sleep. Was up@4 and stayed up. Had an early three hour meeting at school. School psychologist assesing him. (not clinically diagnosed) but definitley aspergers..or I guess autism spectrum as they got rid of other. I've known...I just let it be. The hardest part is seeing the numbers or whatever for high risk depression,anxiety. Well I'm going on and on..gotta focus on positive. Good hearing from you, as I said before your personality shows through typing I think
That's pretty cool. Talk later *hug*
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Posted: January 11, 2018, 6:53 AM


Posts: 633
Joined: April 4, 2016



You know what I got out of your story??? You stayed strong MK!!! You were tempted but you did not partake. You go, girl!! That's strength.

Please feel free to ask how I'm doing at any time. You will never upset me by bringing up Jill. I love to hear her name. It's actually soothing to hear someone else say her name. It affirms that she existed .... that she mattered.... that she is loved. Saying her name... or checking in on me bc I'm a grieving addict's mom... is welcomed & encouraged. It also validates that this is a loss that I can't get over or passed.

Can't end on a down note. So, here's a song for you.... because I believe in you....

Kim Burrell - I Believe

This post has been edited by hurtingmom on January 11, 2018, 11:30 PM



--------------------

I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.


In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
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Posted: February 2, 2018, 12:35 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Hey Lynn..checking in with you. Long overdue. I think I don't have a lot of positive things to say..and i just avoid because I don't wanna drag anyone down! And then when I'm cool....I'm just doing my own thing. But not being cool to try and send positive things your way..lol. I definitley overthink and then over think Some more..but now I know bringing up Jill is ok. Makes sense... acknowledging.
I just typed a whole sentence out and erased. *blurting out or overthinking* what I do best! I really don't have a whole lot to say. Oh well I could, but like I said im..I don't know trying to be more aware of my negativity. (now idk how great I'm doing at!) but yeah I'm trying.
Btw am I even spelling your name right?? 2 n's? Actually that reminds me of something funny. I'll see if I can find a clip of it later. 💛
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Posted: February 2, 2018, 1:36 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



https://youtu.be/eW2tFwrg1Nc that's the only one I could find. If you don't wanna listen to it all it's at 1:20 that was in his later days and delivery I liked better in earlier..and better to watch him rather than just look at a picture
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Posted: February 8, 2018, 2:12 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



https://youtu.be/D6P5F49nfvk 😂😂😂
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