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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: March 24, 2017, 6:19 PM
Hi, I was reading posts on here as I do sometimes because I have a kid that's an addict. I'm always looking to learn as much as I can about heroin addiction. Why do you have to have clean time or I take it your in trouble if you don't?? Then it's good to get in clean time to avoid the darkness and the insanity. What about or what is the darkness and the insanity? I want to be able to understand. I'm sorry if I sound dumb about this or insult anyone by asking, it's not my intent I always appreciate your input. Thank you in advance. Mary 🌻
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Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008
Posted: March 24, 2017, 7:15 PM
Hi Mary ....idk if I can explain it right...
continual use after reaching a certain threshold...which is different for all of us I think... seems to bring on...idk... a deep bad depression... things can get a bit weird in our heads...it's hard to explain in a way...it's like being ...lucidly insane... ..it...makes our thoughts ....very dark....very bizarre. ..it's like going to the very edge of sanity....and into a night....pulling back...weaning....detox...or whatever. .kind of....turns the light back on...there is also a certain despair that comes when you know you have no options anymore and have to use....just my personal explanation and my experience. ...not everyone may feel the same.... This post has been edited by constantine on March 24, 2017, 7:21 PM | ||
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Posted: March 24, 2017, 8:10 PM
Hello Mary. This is from my experience. When your a heroin addict you need to have heroin ( or opiate replacement) everyday or you get violently sick. When you get your heroin and do it you only have so many hours to feel well before you get sick again. Your always trying to not get sick. That for me drove me insane and into deep depression. Everyday you have to have money to buy your heroin. Insanity over how I was to get my money daily. Then you have to have a source to get your heroin from daily. Insanity and depression over that was huge for me. If your dealer is out or isn't answering the phone or got busted you might get sick before you find another place to get it from. I was everyday chasing a bag of heroin so I wouldn't get sick. I was scared of that sickness that feeling of the flu and food poisoning a bad case. (Kinda my description of how you feel) When you are starting to feel sick it will gradually get worse as time goes by. Your a ticking time bomb so to speak. BUT heroin will take it away instantly. The insanity you go through making sure you don't get sick was huge for me. Then there's the quality of the heroin. If you get some heroin that's not as good as your use to you get sick and that made me insane. Getting heroin that doesn't make you feel well is something I had to worry about. Years were spent for me like this. The toll of this type of life was so very depressing for me. I was a basket case. Just writing this post I can remember how desperate I felt daily.
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Posted: March 24, 2017, 8:12 PM
Con I like how you described this in your post.
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: March 24, 2017, 10:36 PM
Do you think when you get to that darkness it's actually the part of the brain that releases the seratonin that's ran low, it can't produce it enough to sustain a normal everyday amount therefore it takes you past what anyone else would call bad depression to a new level of such severe depression that can only be described as dark insanity? Thats why you have to stop and get clean so that this part of the brain has time to get back to a level of normality.Is my explanation close to understanding your dilemma? What would happen if someone didn't stop but continued to use? Do you think it would bring them to the point of no return and that's when some think about suicide? The darkness takes over completely. Thank you. Mary 🌻
This post has been edited by Mandm on March 24, 2017, 11:40 PM | ||
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Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008
Posted: March 25, 2017, 2:13 AM
When we get to that point where we know we need to pull back...suicide has already been considered several times over...it's part of the darkness....your explanation sounds as good as anyone's Mary...might definitely be that....we build crazy tolerances at times and need to maintain it..we don't get high anymore in a way.. .if we don't pull back...or can't...and keep using we usually end up oding....sometimes on purpose ..or end up in hospital... psyche ward or jail...we fear the sick... constant use and the life to maintain the habit gives us other health issues that usually kill us before the dope will. .we sometimes will use a different substance for awhile when pulling back..idk....I've been told that many heroin addicts may already have had a problem with serotonin not being adequate to begin with...which is interesting....it may be why methadone works so well on some of us...stabilizes the level...anti depressants do not seem to reach that part of brain or chemical make up that it maybe needs to...I've been prescribed every med in universe I think. ..and nothing worked correctly or well....only the juice has ever worked. ..but you give up alot of yourself on it....sometimes though. ..that's a fair trade
Dark insanity....indeed This post has been edited by constantine on March 25, 2017, 5:59 AM | ||
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: March 25, 2017, 10:42 AM
Con, Overfifty, I'm sorry you all suffer like this! It makes me so very sad just thinking of the suffering that you all go through daily. Hopefully one day in the near future they'll develop a cure. Until then strength, determination and willpower are also part of the cure! I've said enough I'm sure! So I'll leave it at this in fear I wear out my welcome!! Thanks! Take care, Mary🌻
This post has been edited by Mandm on March 25, 2017, 3:06 PM | ||
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