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Posted: February 12, 2005, 2:27 AM
Hi everybody, ive been reading the forum for awhile now but never posted, so i just wanted to introduce myself and say hello. ok, so...ive been doing dope for about 3 months now, started off with tiny little lines thats all i needed, now im up to about a bag to get off, lately its been close to 2 bags to get off and usually about 3-4 a day sometimes 6, which im estimating to be about half a gram or so. i last used on wedsday about 12pm, ended up snorting 160mg of oxycontin around 7pm that night, the next day around 10am i snorted the last of my oxys which was two 40mg tablets, so by 530 am that morning i couldnt sleep because my legs were all misrable feeling and i couldnt get comfortable, so i took a 10mg methadose tablet and that was good enough to get me to sleep after about an hour and a half. then i ended up scoring a bundle of dope cuz the methadose was all gone, i did one bag of it and the rest is still in its hiding place. so that brings us up to the present time, my question is this.....is it possible to wean myself completely off of dope without getting severe withdrawls(atleast so i can sleep and work)? im talking about just doing maybe a tiny little bump maybe once a day or less whenever i get to the point that im uncomfortable. do that untill my habbit/tolerance is back down to where it was when i started and didnt get any withdrawls? Thanks Guys, i really appreciate it.
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Posted: February 12, 2005, 3:52 AM
Welcome Curious:
Hello there,nice to meet you and welcome to a place full of amazing people and your amazing also just because your you.Wow that's not a long time to be on dope and for your sake sweetheart I hope you don't go any further.If you have been reading this forum then you know where these drug's can lead you.Don't you see the pain one has for the lose of someone they loved and lost to drug's,don't you see hon., the suffering it's causeing to very beautiful people and the pain and suffering it is causeing the people around them,don't you see what it makes you become,you have a job now but sweetie if you continue and get very bad forget about a job,less alone keeping one. I don't know if you have read the poem that Raerae has posted a while back ,if you haven't then find it on this board on heroin it's called Miss Heroin,read it and get it into your head cause that is what they will do to you.I know your probably saying,me never will I get that low,well honey let me tell you ,Yes you will,I used to say I will never use needle's,cause first I'm petrefied of them and still am and second I'll never get to that point.Hell was I wrong cause I got to that point and beyond,to a place I never knew existed.I shot up anything you gave me if it would get me highI shot it,then I said now there is one thing I'm sure I'll never do,prostitute/escort,Who was I fooling ,got to doing that,got involved with bad people and did some bad thing's,stole ,lied,conned,hurt,threatend,I did everything and anything to get my dose and I mean everything and anything. So please Curious get out while you still can,and what better place to come and talk about it and get the help and support you need we all are here to help. There is this site it's called "OUR WALL",PLEASE go there and see what it has done to inocent and very young people just like you and me.People who like you and me never thought would end up where they are today,so do yourself a favour darlin and stop while your ahead.If you go to this site look at the names: Please your worth it Just imagine the pain and heartbreak it will cause the people who love and care for you.. Yes you can ween yourself off on what your talking about.I had done it once in 1986 when I was 16 yrs old and stayed clean for 9 months while in greece to straighten up my act.I'm now on methadone 100ml's a day and I'm 34 yrs old with 3 beautiful kid's and divorced,living in Montreal,Canada,been on meth since95/86. How old are you sweetheart?where are you from,living at home or on your own?Sorry with all the question's just want to get to know you. I'll let you go now but will be looking back tomorrow to see how everything is going with you.Welcome and we do care a whole lot so you've come to the right place. A Friend Always Teena | ||
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Posted: February 12, 2005, 1:58 PM
Hi Curious, I remember when I was at your stage in my addiction. Man it was all so sweet back then! I was already on the needle at your stage. Now, you've got to listen. Right now, you don't know what clucking is. Your withdrawals are so mild that they're not even worth talking about. I know you are gonna find that really, really hard to believe, coz you probably think you know what it's all about. But believe me, unless you bite the bullet, take a week off work (or not - some people find it easier to have work to distract them) and do your cluck NOW you will be in my place 7 years later, wishing you'd taken my advice. And that is if you're lucky. If you're not lucky, you won't even make it this far. You'll be in jail or dead. Heroin will drive you to do things that you never believed you were capable of. You will sink to such depths of human depravity that you'll be utterly disgusted by yourself, and you'll do irrepairable damage to the relationships you value the most. And then you have to live with yourself, and the s*** you've done, and the s*** that's happened to you. And that is the hardest thing in the world to do. And the more f*** ups you make, the heavy that millstone round your neck becomes. Believe me, by that stage, you'll need the smack just to dampen down the voices screaming in your head.
And as for your dreams, your hopes for the future? Well, they're down the swanny. You can kiss goodbye to the person you aspire to be. Everywhere you look the words "junkie scum" will haunt you. You'll have to wear long sleeves in the summer, to cover up the mess on your arms. And your feet. Coz you run out of places to stick it eventually. So now I've told you what the future holds, unless you kick this in to touch right now, you don't have to be curious anymore. It will only ever hurt you. I know how good it makes you feel, but that is not without cost. One day you will have to go through the opposite reaction in equal measure. And don't think "Oh that would never happen to me. I would never let things that bad." Coz you won't know how bad it is till it's too late. You only have to step over that line once. Everywhere I go I see the images of people I used to know. But those people are ghosts, coz heroin took them away. Don't do it to yourself. best wishes diff | ||
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Posted: February 12, 2005, 3:27 PM
Het diff, i like your posts you are a straight shooter, i m on methadoone now for 5years straight 140 mgs.(No slips) i love it i go once a month and pu pills, there is only a few of these programs in the USA. It is the best, cost is only $100.00 per month. I have a young gorgeous wife, and 2 little ones Asley 6 and John 2 1/2 c. they are my world, If is was not for them and Meth i would be a junkie(dead) statistic well gotta go! (PS i lost my brother Bruce, to a heroin OD in 1978 in Manhatten,
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Posted: February 12, 2005, 3:52 PM
Curious,
You are indeed at an early point in your addiction and thing will get worse, much worse. Trust me on that. I would suggest that you get on a meth clinic or even better see a doctor that can prescribe suboxone and start a treatment plan. Right now I think that you are not able to think staight and once you're stablized on meth or sub, it will give you a chance to think. Please don't be offended by my comments, I'm in no way mean to insult you. It's just that I've been where you are now so many times. I have been addicted ti narcotics for 25 years and I haven't used for about 8 months with the help of suboxone. | ||
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Posted: February 12, 2005, 5:48 PM
Dear Billedtrain, I'm glad you like my posts. If I can help one person stop making the same mistakes I did, my time here may not be in vain. I feel a lot of guilt about other people who followed my lead. As I said before, I was on the needle pretty much from the start (my first experience of IV drugs was a snowball - coke and smack together), and I didn't know many other people who did it that way. But one by one, they got jealous of me, s***-faced on the sofa with my eyes closed, and one by one they all came to me and asked me to "initiate" them. This initiation normally involved in them giving most of their drugs to me, me cooking up a nice treacly number, me having a big fat 60-70ml gun and them having about 30mls (I always took advantage of those "first hit" nerves). Then I'd just pop up a vein nice and easy on their virgin arms and slide it in and they were hooked forever. And people are scared to do it by them selves. I would literally have queues of people waiting for "nurse Diff" when the gear came in. People fighting over who goes first. One of those people, a young girl, only 18 died last year. I feel so damned s***ty about it. I know she would have done it anyway, and my argument was that if she was with me, then I could keep her safe. But I didn't. She went over 4 times after I cooked one up for us both. Once she got the hang of it herself she was doomed, coz she'd do it on her own. I saw a girl who looked just like her in town the other day, and I just stood and stared, feeling so bad. If I feel like that, how does her mother feel? I just want people to understand what it is they're getting into.
best wishes diff | ||
Posts: 12
Joined: February 8, 2005
Posted: February 12, 2005, 6:19 PM
MY FRIEND GET OUT NOW FOR DIFF IS NOT TELLING YOU A LIE!
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Posted: February 13, 2005, 4:37 AM
hey guys thanks for all your replies, its cool how quickly people respond on here. well like alot of you said, my habbit/clucks is small in comparison to alot of other people and to what it could end up being, and i totally agree although i really dont know. i do know that there hasnt been one single day that i havent used since i first picked up until this past wedsday and by thursday i felt like sh*t. im just hoping that because my habbit is small(which is a releif to hear) that ill be able to wean myself down to nothing without any withdrawls that will make me miss work, because its a new job and i cant take off or ill get canned. right now im sweating slightly but its just the start because i fuked up and did 2 bags today, but i know in a few hour my legs will be feeling like sh*t and thats the most annoying part for me cuz i cant sleep like that. and as i said before..im sure youre all right and my clucks are nothing in comparison to others but it still sucks ya know. so hopefully this weaning idea will do the trick.-------in response to the question about my age/etc, im 27 and my name is Jason :-) Thanks again for all your posts. take it easy everyone
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Posted: February 13, 2005, 10:20 AM
Dear Jason, I can already tell from what I've read that this weaning idea is a bit of a fantasy. You caved in and did two bags after no time at all. I just think you still see this as a bit of a game. You are not giving it enough respect. There simply is no way to avoid the cluck. You have to make a decision and stick to it. I don't know why, but I got a bad feeling about you. I don't think you'll get through this your way. You already love this drug to death.
Please just accept what's coming and do something about it before it's too late. best wishes diff | ||
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Posted: February 14, 2005, 5:55 AM
im fking scared man, i gotta quit this sh!t, how the hell am i gonna get through the next 4 days of work, theres gotta be something i can do to ease this so i can sleep and get through the work week, then i have the weekend and hopefully by monday ill be feeling alot better. will a doctor beleive i have the flu and write me an excuse so i can get out of work for 4 days? --Jason
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Posted: February 14, 2005, 6:11 AM
and ya know, for me atleast, its hard to explain but its not really the high of dope, its the confidence and self assurance that i feel when i do dope,.....like dealing with situations that are usually a bit stressfull or bring on some anxiety are a breeze when youre on dope, thats the most attractive part of all this for me, but i guess when all is said and done that is what the heroin high is? i just really need to get through these withdrawals without losing my job because of it, even if, as some have said, my withdrawals are nothing compared to what it could be its still enough to cause me(and family) alot of grief. Thanks for listening to my ramble, --Jason
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Posted: February 14, 2005, 8:17 PM
I am sorry to say you are in deep, and this is a battle that canot be won, Once the snake gets you, you will chase it forever, go to a detox as fast as your a** will take you, stay abstineent, and pray for a miracle, thats it
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Posted: February 15, 2005, 9:37 AM
Dear Jason, get that sick note from the Dr. You may want to consider telling him the truth. I don't know how it works where you are, but my GP sorted out my subutex script for me. Maybe you could try the sub, but be warned, it only prolongs your addiction. At your stage I would still consider going c/t, it won't kill you. But the smack will, so do what ever you have to to get off it.
best wishes diff | ||
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Posted: February 15, 2005, 10:36 PM
Hey Diff, what exactly do you mean "it will prolong my addiction"? will i withdrawal from dope when i stop taking the pills or do i withdrawal while im on the pills but not feel the cluck? then withdrawal from the pills or is it withdrawaling from the dope? im work construction and im always measuring precise, cutting precise, building, hammering, working with power tools, up on ladders, etc.....its hard to concentrate and do my job correctly if im in withdrawl. Thanks,--Jason
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Posted: February 16, 2005, 5:00 AM
I am new to this website, but was looking for some answers. My son was given Methadone at a pain clinic for migranes, then got into a motocycle accident and was give Oxy. He said he used H for awhile until he came to me asking for help so he could go to a Methadone Clinic. He's now in a Methadone Clinic costing $300.00 a month. Going once a week with take homes. He's on 65m and wants desperatly to rapid detox. The cheepest clinic i've found was $600.00 a day, and he needs to go for a month. Help!!! Any suggestions or insights. He's been mentioning other drugs in place of Methadone, are they any better than Methadone. Also I saw a posting from a young man, "billedtrain", who said he had monthly take homes that were costing only $100.00 a month. Are we getting ripped off at our clinic paying almost $300.00. What a nightmare this has all been, to our son and the whole family.He hasn't use in almost three years now not since he started the Discovery House methadone program.
Thank you, Cat | ||
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Posted: February 16, 2005, 9:08 AM
God I find it hard to believe anyone would consider paying 600 dollars a day for a detox,its a lot of money with no guarantee given that the person will stay away from using again,I would rather do a taper at the clinic he is at,why not ask them to take him down say 5 mls a week,until he finds it getting to tough and then slow it down a bit and drag it out to what he feels comfortable with.
I guess if you can afford to pay that type of money,then go for it,I just wouldnt like to pay these places on principle lol,Im not tight,I just dont like to see these places make money out of peoples suffering. | ||
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Posted: February 16, 2005, 9:57 AM
Cat,
I am a methadone patient, have been over 4 yrs now. I have really been wanting to get off it (my clinic is $400/month). I am coming down slowly, about 5mg every 2 weeks. I went off it cold turkey once and found that it was an excruciating detox. I even resorted back to heroin to ease the pain of withdrawal. Heroin was easier for me to cluck. Methadone detox goes on and on for like, 10-12 days. So as of lately, my family has been pushing me to go in for ultra-rapid detox. Have you really researched it? It's very dangerous, many deaths associated with it. The body of an addict is already in an altered state of functioning, so flushing the body at such a fast rate, well sometimes it leads to shock. There's not many docs in the U.S. that will touch it. And fatality rates are way higher than they should be in the U.K. The closest doc to me that will do the proceedure is about 3 and a half hours away. And still, he won't do ulta rapid detox. He does a detox that typically lasts 2-3 days. It is called an accelerated detox. Supposed to be much safer. He also endorses a naltrexone implant upon returning home. This implant blocks all opiates from the brain. So, if a patient were to use, it would not get them high at all. My friend went through this, and he is doing very well. Of course, he attends NA meetings religiously and does other things for his recovery as well. The people from the docs office told me that a methadone detox in this manner will take up to 2 days longer than the usual 2-3 days because of the longer-lasting effects of methadone (it's half-life effect). The cost was over $3,000. Plus, every couple of months or so you must follow-up with him, change the implant, etc. But to me, whatever the method of detoxing the MOST important thing is what happens afterward, not the actual detox. Many times I have left a rehab center or institution completely free of all drugs, only to be using again later. Please consider the risks of Ultra-rapid detox. Speak with some people from local inpatient facilities, addictionologists, counselors, anyone! It's a big decision and wish you and your son the very best. My thoughts are with you. Curious, I tried repeatedly to kick on my own. I could not make it that way. I really didn't want to do the inpatient thing again either. Because, let's face it, it had been done to death and I still wasn't ok. And those places cost mucho $$$$. I didn't want to lose my job. And I didn't want to drop my classes either. The last resort for me was an outpatient methadone clinic. Subs were not available to me at the time. For me, it was the right decision. There are pros and cons to everything. That's definitely true about this. It still took a big commitment, going to get my dose every mornin. Sucked!! But now I gotta deal with coming off meth. And don't let em fool ya, it's nothing to f*ck around with. But at least I can do it safely, slowly,with a minimal amount of pain, and for me right now, legally. It's not an ideal situation but it is MUCH better for me than the dope was. I don't regret it. You gotta lot of choices. Only you know what is in your heart, what is best for you. I guess it depends on where you live as to what's available to you. I hope you find a great place to help, it's way too hard to go it alone. Don't give up either, just because one place might not be what you're looking for, doesn't mean they're all like that. Man, I know where you're at right now. I can remember that fear of finally seeing how out of control I was. I was in denial for the longest time. Then I finally saw how it was. And then it took me even longer to decide to do something about it. I think the longer you wait, the harder it makes it, for sure! I really admire you for wanting to do something about it. Takes alot of courage. If you need us, we're here for ya. It's like the family you never had. For me anyway. Well.....best of luck, hope it goes alright. Let me know. congrats on new life, h-girl | ||
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Posted: February 16, 2005, 1:27 PM
Dear Jason, subutex mimics the action of heroin/methadone. It stops you from clucking. The idea then is to reduce slowly to get off the subutex. If you just stop takin them you will go into withdrawals. I'm really worried about you working and using, since you do a dangerous job. I sometimes nodded off at work, but I was just on the phone all day. Nobody died if I f***ed up. Please be careful. Subutex doesn't dope you out the same way H does. You'll have a much clearer head.
Where do you live? Subutex is free to addicts in the UK. It's a shame it doesn't work that way the world over. best wishes diff | ||
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Posted: February 17, 2005, 12:08 AM
ok, i have another question, i know this is going to sound like a step backward in the wrong direction but i gotta ask anyway because im trying to minimize any and all the "bullsh!t" as much as i can. first i want to say, ive done oxys for a period of a week or two straight and stopped with basically no ill effects at all, so, my question is this.....since i have pretty much unlimited access to oxys, could i take those when it gets really bad during the withdrawal period to ease the cluck untill im basically detoxed and then stop taking the oxys? or would i still get H clucks when i stop taking the oxy? as i said before, i know this sound like a step in the wrong direction, but i have without a doubt taken oxys for over a week and stopped with basically no bad symptoms. Thanks everyone, -Jason.
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Posted: February 17, 2005, 12:53 PM
Jason. Read my lips! There is NO WAY to avoid the cluck. You have an addiction to opiates. A physical addiction. Taking oxys is no different to taking heroin as far as your opiate receptors are concerned. All they will do is put yout cluck off till you run out of oxys. And the longer you are leaving it, the harder it's going to be. You are in over your head. Get yourself help. Do it today. Ring a drugs helpline or something. Find out what help is available to you and for God's sake take it!
best wishes diff | ||
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