post replypost new topic
If I Dont Quit I Will Die


Posts: 1
Joined: November 26, 2019


Posted: November 26, 2019, 9:25 PM
I had a terrible cocaine addiction for 3 months last year after suffering the worst grief any mother or parent could imagine. After I was raped and left for dead at 14 my depression and anxiety started and I started self harming to cope with issues if I was depressed.. for years I battled self harm until I had my son 8 years ago. I stopped and only had a couple of self harm relapses. but last year after suffering my grief I went of the rails alone and was in a bar toilet about to self harm and someone stopped me and told me theres another way to take my pain away and introduced me to cocaine. for 3 months my habit was that bad spending about 1400 pounds a week on it on average around 50 pound half g i had 26 to 28 bags a week. leaving home daily and returning at night once everyone asleep. pretending I was working. my husband and mum never new at the time. never took any home coz of my son. but day I.quit was due to looking after my son but I couldnt physically play. it was hard and went cold Turkey never asked for help even went away. managed to get clean. but had a relapse 6 months ago and now its getting worse my habit. my husband and mum now know and they to support me. but I cant talk to them feel a burden. my habit has got that bad I have overdosed several times and have been in hospital a few times from seizures I have had from drugs. now been diagnosed with tonic clonic seizures epilepsy. I had open heart surgery in may this year and since then and all illnesses I have had since and my anxiety and depression got worse which started me using again. started once a week a little but now. dreadful cant live without. I was 13st plus 85kg before surgery now and probably due to drug abuse I now weigh 9st 56kg. i struggle to walk alot and hate being this thin and look bad. I have to stop. I dont want to be like this anymore I struggle even to.get out of bed most days. and the worst thing is my sleep deprivation I go sometimes 4days and nights constantly no sleep from the drugs. I love my son and want to beat this for him. he means the world to me. thankfully he doesnt know or ever seen me at my worst. I know if I dont quit I.will die. people say to me just stop but any addict knows it's not that easy. I need help


Posts: 10
Joined: January 4, 2020


Posted: January 5, 2020, 12:18 PM
Hi guys,

I was addicted to crystal meth, methcathinone, cocaine and a drug called mandrax for about 8 years.

Eventually, it destroyed my whole life. Lost my family, reputation and career, criminal records, employment history, etc.

There was not one time when i received money and didn't spend basically every single cent on drugs. Even though every time i regreted it, i told myself that i would never do it again - my life seemed totally empty when i wasn't on drugs.

I was invited by a friend, to a Christian addiction program which set me free once and for all. It is absolutely free and they have centers all over the world. I would really love to share what I received. I have been 4 years clean and eventually the cravings dissapeared too.

If you are keen and willing to try anything, i am more than happy to refer you to them.

PS. They will also guide you in dealing with all of your inner issues associated with the addiction.

God bless
post replypost new topic