I Cant Stop!
Posted: February 1, 2018, 9:19 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: February 1, 2018

I dunno why but i cant stop. my cocaine addiction drive all why thoughts. i say im going to change and i mean it in my heart and as soon as i have more money its all gone. ive lost my good job and im going to loose my son. im pushing everyone around me away and treating the only ones who care and help like crap. i minipulate every situation. i can lie so well know im in this horrible loop.
Posted: February 5, 2018, 11:48 PM

Posts: 46
Joined: February 7, 2013

Thats some painful s*** losing your son. I hate to sound cliche but that's what crack does. I've been blessed not to have things go that far, but i have been spared. It very well could have.

I'm here for ya. I too am fighting the fight. I been posting for 5 years, and I feel like its day one. It took FIVE YEARS for me to make my first pre-relapse call. 5 years bruh! This crack addiction real....but so is God, so is recovery, so is a better life. You and I HAVE TO make better decisions.

That crack high don't want us making that call. I felt it today. Real bad. So bad that it finally spoke out of my mouth to the one I called trying to plead the case that using was under control and I'd be ok! SERIOUSLY?? yes ...very serious

I didn't understand what I'm telling you 5 years ago. I had to go through s***. Yes I could have made it much easier on myself sooner, but I didn't, and it sounds as if you can relate to some extent. You're "new" to this, but at the same time, we're all the same. We're addicts.

If you can't make it to groups, then you immerse yourself on the board. That's what its there for. You sit down and read and post as often as possible. You pour your soul out on the boards and you really take in what vets like Larry and others have to say. We may not be with you physically or be available to you now, but many of your answers and advises have already been posted. There is a certain blessing and magic here. You do have to believe, you do have to put the effort in, and you do have to abstain, no matter what.

I hope this helps.

All this happened for the sole purpose to help others fight this thing
Posted: May 6, 2018, 4:10 AM

Good day,
i have always thought i was in control of my usage and sometimes go for days without it. I went five weeks and fell badly. It seem to me that the more i fight it the harder i fall. My family life has fallen apart and it seem no one really understands that i do not want it. I actually hate to be living like this. i have changed approach , i have blocked the dealers but always seem to get caught up. I want to quite this
Posted: May 31, 2018, 9:05 PM

Posts: 1573
Joined: June 27, 2016

Brian - change your phone number. you might be able to do it on line at your cell phone provider's website. I think it can be done pretty easily. delete all the dealers from your phone.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on May 31, 2018, 9:50 PM
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