I was in the dark for 5 months this year from April through October. Almost 6 months.
To introduce myself, 26 years of age, got into marijuana when I was 24. Back then Marijuana was the one and only drug that I ever did and I thought I would ever do.
I was in love with the MJ. Not going to lie. Smoked everyday pretty much. Smoked to class, smoked to drive, smoked to go shopping, smoked to eat, smoked before the gym. I was fine. I was one happy and social person throughout my last college year.
Then I moved to a new location, where had more friends and various people. 2017 January was when I first tried Molly, Ecstasy, and Cocaine. Cocaine was always around me because one of my friends was a dealer. I never paid for cocaine nor worry about having it because it was always there for free.
At first I thought it was so casual to do cocaine because everyone else was doing it.
I used to work out like crazy, every single day and when I got into the party scene with new friends that I met, I stopped working out, I was eating less due to cocaine, I was sleeping less due to cocaine, doing ecstasy on the weekends at the club and I even got into Ketamine which I did for a several times. Back then I wasn't feeling anything and functioning just fine.
Funny, outgoing, social and strong. That's how I was.
I'm not only blaming for the drug use that put me into a dark place for 5 months. I did have a lot going on, car accident, money problems, fraud, and such.. I had the most amazing girl friend that I could ask for for that period of the time.
It was something weird that I had NEVER experienced in my life.
I was in a severe depression like anyone else on this forum.
I neglected on my family, girl friend and friends.
All I wanted to do was sleep and I have been a morning person my whole life.
Getting out of my bed was the hardest thing in the world. Getting to work was depressing.
Before the depression, I couldn't drive without any music on but back then I didn't want to listen to anything.
I tended to forget stuff all the time, I couldn't think of the words that I wanted to say, I couldn't even hold a conversation due to severe brain fog.
My other body functions started to fail as well. Couldn't see clear, hear clear, speak clear, think clear. I had it all. I wanted to commit suicide million times that I would never be the same person anymore. I looked at the online drug forums every single day at work and that was my main task back then other than focusing on work.
Severe brain fog got me really tired. I'm talking about having to lay down all day and not able to wake up because my mental was so collapsed and tired. I didn't want to go out and show myself out there because I knew I was depressed.
My skin started to get darker, and didn't look healthy.
The one thing that bothered me the most was thinking that I'd never be the same person that I was prior to the drug use. I wasn't able to come up with any ideas to talk to people when I didn't have to think about what I had to say to people around me before.
But friends.. It is of course better to stay away from the drugs. It is really hard to get out of it once you are hooked. I'm sure everyone knows. Myself, I got back into weed, even though I don't smoke every day. I have done cocaine a several times after I got better too. Moderation is the key while eating healthy, working out, being social and productive.
You will get better in no time. I know and understand that it is really hard to get you to the gym but please do. Even if you don't work out, sit in the sauna and sweat out the toxins. It does help. Go walk around. Go run. Go do something. You will be getting closer to the place you want to be if you breakthrough.
I'm not back at 100% yet but I feel happy again. Happy again with my girlfriend, my family and friends. and I'm confident again. I wake up at 4 everyday because I'm so happy that I'm back. and YOU can be in the same place you want to be in no time if you put effort into it.. I know it's hard but you really need to try it before you just let it go because you are so frustrated.
Supplements that I took
Please remember that you will be better in no time. It is not permanent. Stop the drugs now and breakthrough. You can be here with me in no time. I support you. If you have any questions feel free to leave comments.
You can do it.
Wow dude I just read this whole post and this is exactly what I am going through almost word to word it's scaring me. I have been doing cocaine on and off for last 3-4 years. The last year I was at my peak,doing atleast couple of grams a week. My family planned for a two week vacation and due to this, I was forced to go cold turkey which is the best thing that's ever happened in my 22 years. I no longer crave cocaine at all but th psychological withdrawal symptoms are really worrying me.
I feel slightly depressed but I know I have a great life, friends and family and a nice job and I'm in school which keeps me going.
I have been having lots of trouble concentrating lately, which worries me the most as well as anxiety issues.
I really hope I can get in touch with you and talk a bit about how you got through all of this.
I he been doing hot yoga which has really been helping, I just started taking fish oil, zinc, and l tyrosine.