How Do You Actually Stop?
Posted: May 21, 2016, 5:30 PM

How do you actually stop.

I have been to 12-step groups and got a sponsor. So I know doing the steps will help me.

But I have really bad cravings. What do I do? I do not think I can stick it out long enough to ever actually get through the steps.

They say you just have to hang on. My sponsor says I just have to get through this.

But how do you get through it?

I try one day at a time, but it gets harder each day.

Posted: May 28, 2016, 11:41 PM

It is less about what you are giving up and more about you gaining a life back.

Posted: May 29, 2016, 5:39 AM

Of course it will be hard.

If it were not, then would you be an addict?

Hang on, think of allll the benefits and goals you want to achieve- write them down.

Think of all the negatives using brought you, write them down.

Remember the hangovers, the paranoia- the debt- the anxiety etc.....broken relationships....numb feelings....etc... the come down- the depression....

Well hang on--- have faith in recovering addicts words- and you will soon see a light.

Just keep doing what your aponsor tells you and write us here

Posted: May 30, 2016, 7:20 PM

I pray like my sponsor says but it does not help. I feel so alone when I do that, maybe because I am not a religious person.

Maybe 12-step is not going to work for me since it is built on prayer.

I am still open to suggestions.
Posted: May 30, 2016, 7:24 PM

I do go down a list of all the bad stuff that can happen, and think about the consequences, but that only helps for a few minutes. I think about it and it makes me feel doomed because I cannot do it.

I think so much of what has been suggested here and prayer are really just willpower. And I do not have the willpower.

If I had enough money, I would hire someone to sit with me during those times. I need a keeper.
Posted: May 31, 2016, 11:05 AM

KEEP COMING HERE! We will read and pay attention to your struggle. The program of recovery works if you work it. It's less about religion and more about knowing that we are not alone because humankind is a social group of people who struggle in this world to find out what is important to us all and learning to love one another is more difficult with addiction thrown into the mix!
Posted: May 31, 2016, 9:32 PM

I am ready to give up. As nice as people are here, when a craving hits me I do not have the strength to stand up to it.

While it is nice to be listened to, and while I wish it were enough to help me, I already know that it is not.
Posted: June 1, 2016, 5:31 AM


It seems you haven't had enough.

Posted: June 1, 2016, 8:55 AM

You may be right.

I do not have the ability to stop--just a desire to.

I would rather not use again, but that is not the same as being able to stop myself.

My fear is that however much I use, I will never have the ability.

Posted: June 1, 2016, 10:06 AM

Posts: 176
Joined: August 24, 2014

None of us have the ability to stop alone.

that is why we need the program and steps- daily recovery
Posted: June 1, 2016, 11:55 AM

Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011

Just substitute your drug-of-choice for alcohol.

If you are an alcoholic/addict like me then AA/NA (same 12 steps) will save your life.

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line:

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste

Copy & paste



--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.

...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.

--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !

---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.

---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.

... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.

---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .

"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr

WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
Posted: June 1, 2016, 12:11 PM

I have tried to do the steps and I cannot figure out how. I have read the book and they do not explain how to do any of the steps until you get to step 4.

I have asked people in these programs what to do and they show me the same passage.

I still do not know how to do that. I have been in meetings where I said that I don't know how to do this and the only answer I got was to not worry and pray.

So I tried not to worry and I prayed.

And I am still using.

This is too circular in its logic for me. You do the steps by doing them and if you do not know how then just do them.

I know that part of the program is to figure out the program, but that is not something I think I can do. Maybe someone with more clean time or someone smarter could, but I cannot.
Posted: June 1, 2016, 4:00 PM

Posts: 6296
Joined: May 27, 2005

You are not expected to understand the steps. That's what a sponsor is for. Why isn't your sponsor taking you thru the steps? If he isn't, find a new sponsor. Meetings alone won't keep any one sober.


१२ स्तैप्पैर!

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town

Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor.

Posted: June 1, 2016, 6:26 PM

It just sounds like there are always excuses in the program.

I don't understand the book, so now I hear that I am supposed to be doing this from a sponsor. A few weeks ago, I was told I was not getting it because I was working with my sponsor instead of the book.

And no one ever can actually give you any concrete idea about what you are supposed to be doing. It is always somewhere else that the answer is---when the book does not work, you go to a sponsor, when the sponsor does not work you go to meetings, when meetings do not work you go to the book, and so on and so on.

Lets see how it goes tonight.

Posted: June 15, 2016, 10:05 PM

Still want to stop.

But I just do not have the ability.

It is stronger than I am.

At least I am not taking anyone else down with me.
Posted: June 26, 2016, 4:34 PM

Not rocket science but it is only you who can do this for yourself.
lil lady
Posted: June 26, 2016, 5:51 PM

It is so hard I agree Ive been struggling on and off for almost 20 years im more of a binge user but if i coud id use everyday all day!!!!! Ive left my husband several times over my binges he alsways looks for me and I come back Im tired of the insanity I wanna get better I just feel like this drug is so hard to quit completely!!!! Im tired of hurting the ones I love over this
Posted: June 29, 2016, 7:21 AM

Bill, I will just say I know what you are going through.I was there for years and so many people made me feel I wasn't getting the steps because I was doing something wrong. There are other options - Lifering Recovery and Smart Recovery are two that offer face to face, secular non 12 step meetings. They saved my life
Posted: July 5, 2016, 6:00 AM

Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008

Bill...I wish the fck I knew how too also...I'm a heroin addict...and I'm having the same kind of problem...can't say clean once the craving starts...I have noticed one thing though...if your doing AA...try the makes more sense least to speaks to the addict...I did methadone for almost 9 years...was the only way to shut the monkey up long enough so I could there's always that option if its a no win situation anymore and you've got to get clean...I just keep trying and going to meetings...I'm hoping eventually I will get it...


This post has been edited by constantine on July 5, 2016, 6:01 AM
Posted: July 10, 2016, 5:07 PM

Hang on! Your goal is right around the corner. After 10 years of heavy daily use...Ive been 100% clean for 4 months. Look around and appreciate all youve gained for not using even for one day..appreciate simple things, like getting sleep and being able to speak to someone in a normal state of mind. I look back and just cant believe the stupid things I did, and just shake my head. Praying for you. Stay positive..your life/freedom is worth it
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