In Need Of Help
Trinny
Posted: April 17, 2022, 4:09 AM







Hi. This is the first time I've expressed to anyone that I have a problem. I am drinking too much, for a couple of years now. No one knows, because I live alone and do it at night. But I drink about a bottle of wine a night, and sometimes two.
I've had a tough time. Almost three years ago, I found out my husband of 30 years had a secret life. He told me he was a sex addict. He was always gone during the week on business, but he was actually just using that as an excuse to spend his time at brothels and swinger clubs. He said he loved me but was unable to stop. We separated and are now divorced.
But I moved out right before the whole covid lockdown, and found myself suddenly alone in a small apartment, in a town I didn't know anyone, with my children far away.
I was depressed and lonely, and started drinking often.
Since then, I've gotten myself back together emotionally, luckily I have a job that keeps me busy. But I continue to drink regularly, mostly out of boredom. But it has become a problem because every time I decide I won't drink, I still end up doing it by nightfall.
My children (all grown) live far from me, and the scandal about their father pretty much nuked the family. My extended family is on the other side of the earth- I live in a country that is not my native one. I came here when I married my husband, who is french. I haven't many friends, the ones I have tend to want to go out and drink heavily, so I am avoiding seeing them as I try to stop.
But the loneliness is so bad. It seems to be the biggest problem behind the drinking. I don't know what to do.
I just need to speak this outloud, somewhere, as part of my effort to face this problem.
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Posted: April 17, 2022, 11:38 AM


Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014




Hi Trinny ,
well done on taking the first step to recovery, admitting you have a problem with alcohol. Quitting is not easy and even harder to do by yourself, have you anyone to talk to, it does'ent have to be face to face. or have you thought about AA (alcoholics anonymous) works for alot of people at least you will be sure to meet many like minded people there. they have a website which should have a local directory containing a list of local meetings wherever you are in the world. Being lonely is a real problem if you are trying to quit this is something you need to address , that's why AA might be a good start, if family and friends are not an option. You don't have to speak you can just go along and listen, you might just hear something you can relate to as i said it works for many people - is there anyone at work you can confide in ? i know it is not easy, you have to be sure you can trust anyone you want to talk to about this. secondly depression is also very common among those of us that have a problem with alcohol but remember alcohol actually is a depressant so it certainly doesent help with this, perhaps you should seek professional help to deal with this, a GP you trust or perhaps a counselor with experience dealing with addiction , stopping is easy , staying stopped is when it gets hard, hard but not impossible many of us have been where you are so remember you are not alone in this battle , tough as it will be it is worth it, trust me - i wish you all the best - anything i can do to help, just ask - i dont have all the answers but i have 30 years experience of fighting addiction for what it is worth - all the best - TM
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Posted: May 9, 2022, 8:38 AM


Posts: 53
Joined: April 26, 2020



Thank you for the post. it is really easy to hide away and drink a few without anyone knowing. Hopefully with God's help and friends help you can get it under control. Keep your head up
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Posted: May 12, 2022, 2:26 PM


Posts: 293
Joined: October 20, 2007



Hi Trinny,
You've been through a very difficult time when the world you thought you knew was turned upside down. It is understandable that you are feeling some very difficult and complex emotions and your feelings of loneliness and isolation many of us alcoholics can relate to. I'm guessing that the drinking is a way of handling those feelings and a way to drown out the loneliness. The only problem is that the fix is only temporary and the next day those same feelings come rushing back in. If you think that your drinking is impacting negatively on your life there are a lot of options out there if you are genuinely seeking help. As the other people who posted said, in AA meetings you will meet like minded people who are going through their own stuff, just like you. There is no judgement, only a genuine desire to help. You will find support and friendship and those are the only real antidotes to loneliness. Perhaps there are other support groups for women who have had a similar experience to you? People here on ARG are also amazingly supportive and this is where I began my own journey in recovery almost 15 years ago now. Please check in and let up know how you are. You are not alone, just remember that.
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