Day #6 And 6am
Posted: July 25, 2018, 7:19 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Hi Everyone,

I'd first like to start out saying that I've never joined a message board before about addiction and that this is my first one. I don't know where to really start with my story besides the realization that I'm a alcoholic and dependent on Xanax at the age of 36.

I started out pretty early in life experimenting and throughout my 20's partied and then I dealt with a lot of loss and started drinking pretty much daily. These past few years have really been hell for me. I deal with Panic Disorder and drinking would numb me of that anytime I was having an attack. I'd wake up in the morning having an anxiety attack or withdraw from alcohol and start drinking all day and night. I've been doing this for many years.

I don't want this lifestyle no more and I also know it's killing me and I'll be dead soon if i keep it up. I want to stop and not for anyone else, but myself. Today marks day #6 without a drop of alcohol or a cigarette. As i sit here at 6AM in bed I can't breathe good and my chest is tight. I just took some Xanax which I'm sure will relieve me a bit. I've also have started turning my diet around and eating only healthy foods and LOTS of water.

I'm not sure why I'm here right now, is it because I asked the Lord for help and he's showing me the right direction? Or am I just gearing myself up for another binge when i feel better? I hope it's the first.... The Devil tried to throw me a curve ball last night. I was invited to a family party where my cousins from FL are in town and everyone was going to be BBQ'N and drinking and such. I declined on going as hard as it was. I stayed home in bed ( Which I've been in nearly 6 day's) and I'm trying to be strong.

I hope i get a response from someone on here and have someone to maybe talk with. I think that would be great for me and help me to keep my mind off alcohol. Day number 6... I actually smile a bit knowing that I'm trying to do better for myself..

Well this post was all over the place and I'm not really sure what I was supposed to say.

Hope to hear from you guy's

Thanks,
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Posted: July 25, 2018, 11:35 PM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Wishing. I believe you are here because you are led to a life of sobriety. We all started somewhere. The day I called AA I was drunk before noon with no intention of getting sober but shortly afternoon I had called for help. It has been a journey of not only giving up drinking but finding the real me that was buried under loads of alcohol , remorse and guilt. That was in 2008 , it would take me several attempts before finally ACCEPTING that I had a disease. I have been sober since 2010 , doing my recovery work and helping others as much as I can ONE DAY AT A TIME. I live with the motto of JUST FOR TODAY. AA can help as well as other programs. I learned a lot in those 8 years but first I had to have an open mind in order to do so. I do hope you will come back to the board and if you get nothing out of it at least i hope you will know that someone cares and understands you...There is HOPE and there is a SOLUTION...

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 26, 2018, 6:07 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Congratulations Pirate on being sober since 2010. That's huge! Good job :)

I felt very anxious yesterday and the thoughts of drinking were in my mind.
I find myself with a new problem and that's being bored. What am I going to do now for fun?
It seems as if anything I've ever done was surrounded by drinking. I have to find something that
grabs my interest, a new hobby or something. I was invited to go with my Uncles today to go see a band but i declined as it will be pretty much a beer fest. I don't want to go back and I don't want drinking to be an excuse to have " Fun" . I really want to stop this time. I'm trying Pirate.

Today marks WEEK #1 without any alcohol or cigarettes. I'm actually kind of proud of myself and I don't want to let myself down going back to it. ONE DAY AT A TIME right? Well today is my 7th day without and for the most part i feel alright ( A lot better than I would be drinking ) .

I really appreciate you taking the time to write me back and the encouragement helps a lot.

I hope to speak to you again on another day?

Thank you,
Wishing
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Posted: July 26, 2018, 6:46 PM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi. congrats on a week! No matter how much time we have we all just have one day..

In recovery we have to retrain our brain because not only do we have a drinking problem, we also have a thinking problem. We can do this by putting in place a recovery program to help us change our addictive thinking..Recovery takes work but it is so worth it.

Upon awakening in the morning make a list of 3 things you have to be grateful for... this will help you develop an attitude of gratitude..
list one thing of beauty in your life.. this will help you notice the beauty around you
list one thing you have accomplished..this will help you build your self esteem..

There are many sites on the internet that can help as well as AA meetings if you are interested especially if you can attend them in person. Below are some links to recovery sites that you might like to check out .. Take what you can use and leave the rest...

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...nonymous....The AA book to read...

http://stepchat.com/....meetings, chat and support

http://www.justfortodaymeditations..............daily readings

These are just a few that I hope you will find something to help you...also music is a good for the soul of which I have a thread on here where I post songs related to recovery..... take care and good luck...



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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 28, 2018, 9:22 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Hi Pirate,

It's me again. Today is day #9 no Alcohol or Smokes. I was very tempted yesterday as I went to the casino. I was so close from having just 1 Beer, but instead when i went up to the bar i asked for a bottle of water. This morning i woke up early and my mom and I went for a walk in the park along the bike trail while the sun was rising. Then we went and I visited my grandmother and grandfathers grave this morning, after that my mom and I went and had breakfast.

I'm not giving up and taking it one day at a time. I also hope that with me eating healthier and not consuming as many calories as I was daily from drinking alcohol ( 2,000 calories at least ).

I'm just drinking lot's of water and I do believe I've lost a little weight since. I think my drink for today I'm going to make Cucumber water.

One pitcher of Ice Cold Water
One Lemon
Several leaves of fresh mint (5 or 6)
One cucumber

It sounds refreshing. Well that's my update. I plan to keep on giving more updates every day or other day. Thanks for listening,

Wishing
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Posted: July 29, 2018, 6:01 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Day #10

I'm up early feeling good. Going to go for a walk and go to the grocery store and pick up some ingredients to make a chuck roast stew. Then probably make it to church. I was feeling so good yesterday and had so much energy till out of nowhere i had a huge panic attack and felt alcohol was the only thing to help me right then and there. I fought it and relaxed took some of my medication and within 30 minutes i was feeling comfortable and ate a little something and went to bed.

I'm not giving up! I feel to good to feel bad again :)

Wishing
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Posted: July 30, 2018, 5:43 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Day #11

Still doing good!

Wishing
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Posted: August 1, 2018, 6:54 PM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Day #13

No drinks for me !!!

Wishing
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Posted: August 3, 2018, 2:05 PM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



15 Days Sober!

Two weeks Yesterday :)

Wishing
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Posted: August 3, 2018, 9:35 PM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Congratulations Wishing! Be proud of your accomplishments and know that you are worth staying sober for.....

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: August 3, 2018, 10:18 PM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Thank you very much Pirate!

It feels so good to be going to sleep early and waking up early watching the sunrise and getting things accomplished. It feels good to be out in the sun all day. You should've seen me today I was out in the hot sun all day at the beach with people drinking and they kept trying to offer me beers and i kept saying NO.

I felt so strong today being able to say NO and watch them drink. I must've had like 8 bottles of water!

I don't feel as bloated, my face isn't red and swollen like it was. I think I lost a little weight.

I want to keep on keeping on!

Wishing
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Posted: August 4, 2018, 7:29 PM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Wishing just sending along some support and encouragement . Keep on keeping on.. YOU CAN DO IT!

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: August 5, 2018, 11:33 PM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Still no drinking for me! :)

I really appreciate it and this group Pirate. I think it helps me just to say I'm doing good, it's like a reminder to myself a sort of pat on the back if you will.

Thx a Million!

Could use some prayers though as I have a echo-cardiogram in the morning .

Thank you,

Wishing
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Posted: August 6, 2018, 11:02 PM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Hi It's me again.....

No drinking... Day number 18 and will be falling asleep soon waking up to day


19!!!!


I had my echo-cardiogram test done this morning.

I'm very nervous about that. I hope everything is okay...

Much Love,

Wishing
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Posted: August 8, 2018, 5:29 PM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hey Wishing Well. How are you doing?

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: August 13, 2018, 1:02 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Hi Pirate,

I'm happy to say it's day #24 without alcohol. I did go back to smoking which is unfortunate, but as for the drinking I'm doing great. I find myself always having a bottle of water in my hand. I'm getting addicted to drinking lots of water. I can't really say I've had any urges to drink and I'd like to ad that Im mentally blocking it out knowing I don't want it. I know I'm not in the clear, but I'm happy where I'm at right now. I had my echocardiogram and the results came back normal. That made me feel good.

I'm sorry I have not posted lately . I have not forgot about this wonderful group that's helped pushed me to where I stand today 24 days clean . July 19th was my last drink ice had.

I'm not going anywhere. I'll continue to be apart of this message board and I greatly appreciate you.

Thanks

Love,
Wishing
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Posted: August 13, 2018, 10:25 AM


Posts: 29
Joined: August 13, 2018



I'll piggyback on WW's intro. This is the second message board I have been on, and the first related to recovery.

Glad you are doing well; for me, this time, I have 74 days.


Off to look for music thread
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Posted: August 14, 2018, 5:46 AM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hey there Wish...YOU keep on keeping on!You are doing wonderful. I would like to see you post 3 things you are grateful for and a thing of beauty and an accomplishment . I will share mine with you

I am grateful for my grandchildren (3)
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for my job

Beauty: the sky with all it's clouds and sun at day, the moon and stars at night.

accomplishment. Kept my cool when irritated

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: August 14, 2018, 8:25 AM


Posts: 39
Joined: July 25, 2018



Hi Pirate! Day #26 :)

I am grateful for my Family
I am grateful for carrying a caring heart
I am grateful for waking up this morning

Beauty: Waking up at 5AM. Walking with my mother on the bike trail for 2.5 miles, inhaling fresh crisp air, hearing the birds chirping, the dew on the grass, the smile on my mothers face while looking at me. Gods work.

Accomplishment: Over 3 weeks not drinking with 1 month of sobriety just a few days away. It's been at least 10 years or more since this has happened.

I'd like to thank you again Pirate and I really do look forward to these posts as they make me feel like a better person and keeps me in a great state of mind.

With lots of love,
Wishing
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Posted: August 15, 2018, 7:01 AM


Posts: 6110
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Wish.

Today I am grateful that loved ones are coming to visit
I am grateful for the food I am cooking
I am grateful for healing

Beauty: wild flowers

accomplishment. Did some cleaning.

Reading for today:


Keep It Simple
August 15

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
—Shakespeare

We are addicts. We suffer from an illness. We go to Twelve Step meetings because we know who we are. We have a sponsor because we know who we are. We ask friends for support because we know who we are. We know why we need our Higher Power to guide us. Recovery is a spiritual journey. In this journey, we are followers, not guides. It’s a journey that change us. We don’t know how recovery will change us, but we know it will. Is my faith strong enough for my journey? Part of how we get strong for our journey is by knowing who we truly are: addicts.

Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember who I am, so I’ll learn to respect the power of my illness.

Action for the Day: I’ll take time to remember my past, both good and bad. I’ll also take time to think about who I am now. How far have I come?



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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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