Lotsa Anxiety
Posted: December 7, 2017, 9:04 PM


Posts: 2
Joined: December 7, 2017



First post for me
I’ve finally-and for the first time in my life- decided to try to stop drinking.
I am going to AA, I’m being honest with folks and I’m doing so with myself
But I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck
Not physically- I’ve detoxed
Mentally
The guilt, fear, and such are overwhelming
Any advice?
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Lynn
Posted: December 7, 2017, 11:14 PM







Hi. Gosh I've lost track of how much time has gone by since my last drink. (4 yrs maybe) Life is so good now. Yeah, I still have ups and downs, but it's manageable.

You think there is nothing else but to want a drink so much everything else takes a back seat, and it will never change, but you can change. There is hope for a great life, and there is help. People who have been where you are, and worse, are here for you. We are so grateful for our sobriety, we take time to help others find what we have found. Don't believe the lie that life without alcohol can't happen for you, or that life is no fun without alcohol. Wow! I remember thinking those things. I was deceived then.

One day at a time. Don't lie to yourself. Check out AA, it works. Read the Big Book, you will find yourself in there. Get a sponsor. Take a deep breath and smile. You've taken the first step by posting here.:)
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Posted: December 8, 2017, 8:08 AM


Posts: 6239
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi there tired. Oh my goodness! I understand totally . One thing you need to understand is that your disease thrives on these feelings and emotions. The disease will lie to you in order for you to give in and drink again. My anxiety level was so high that once I had to be taken to emergency and sedated to be calmed down. I remember those times as been horrible but please believe me when I tell you that it does get better. I had counselling to help me deal with some of the issues caused by my drinking. You must also remember that the things you did while active in your addiction was not the real you but your disease . I loathed myself but after a period of time and with help I came to forgive myself and I learned techniques to help with my anxiety and at reab I learned tools to start my life over. The steps of AA in combination with counselling, and reab really help build me a new foundation on which to start a new life. I am sober for 7 and half years now and I look back on the hell from which I came and appreciate every day of my life. Try not to look back but to look forward. Let each day be a new beginning , a new start and take it one day at a time..Keep posting and let us know how you are.. I care


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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: December 8, 2017, 9:01 AM


Posts: 2
Joined: December 7, 2017



Day 4
I do feel better
Thanks for the replies and the support
I’ve decided to try stopping many times but never like this
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Lynn
Posted: December 8, 2017, 3:53 PM







Hi, very good! Day 4, soon it will be day 40 and before you know it you'll be amazed you ever let alcohol control you like it did. As for me, I don't know if I'd still be alive today had I not stopped drinking. I was completely out of control, and felt powerless to stop.

Be kind to yourself, reach out for help. Help is all around you if you want it. You'll be surprised at how many people you know really do understand and possibly have been there too. Addictions aren't as taboo as they used to be, so many people have addictions of various substances.

Clean and sober, fresh and alive! There ain't nothin like it! A new beginning, and better life awaits friend! Keep coming back, keep reaching out.

The board may be a bit slow due to the time of year, everyone bustling 'round ya know. But in the meantime you can read past threads, learn about others struggles and what helped and didn't. You're among friends here, people who care. I'll be thinking about you, sending positive thoughts your way, and a prayer.
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 8, 2017, 9:01 PM







Thanks
Today was kinda rough but I still won’t give in- didn’t even come close
I’m thinking this is normal- the temptation more aggressive as time goes by
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Posted: December 8, 2017, 9:27 PM


Posts: 6239
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Tired. Some suggestions for you .Look at what you are putting in your body. Alcohol cravings can be brought on by small amounts of alchol that are in products such as mouthwash, toothpaste, hairspray, body spray, lotions,hand sanitizers, in some foods such as icings on cakes and cookies that contain vanilla extract or any kind of extract. Some medications such as sleeping pills, gravol, benydral and any drug that is sedating or mood changing can bring on a craving. Eat sweets to replace the sugar that your body is missing from the alcohol and drink lots of water and take some vitamin c which helps with detoxing. Look for sites to chat with other recovering alcoholics and attend online meetings if you cant get to a face to face one.. Stepchat.com is one such source. I am also enclosing a link where you can read the AA book online..

Make a list of the reasons why you want to stop drinking and also write a gratitude list of 3 things every day that you are grateful for.

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

you can do it! I had my first drunk at age 14, my last at age 53. If I can do it so can you! Don't give up on yourself. There is a life worth living and you are worth living it...



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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 8, 2017, 10:32 PM







Thanks!
Little better tonight
Rollercoaster of cravings/mind temptations
My cravings are mental and today they were enormous
I’m gonna tell my story in a nutshell soon and see if it’s relatable
I’ve never done that before today
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 12:37 AM







Keep going. Imagine if you could see yourself a year from now. There may be another person out there you will be holding their hand, telling them hang on it gets better. It does get better, I promise. Would you believe life gets even better than before you had a drink problem? It has for me, maybe because before I took so much for granted, then came close to loosing everything~ my health possibly my life, my marriage, my relationship with my daughter, job, home, everything I was close to loosing. That's how bad it was. Now I've never been so happy, life is so good.

A quote that has stuck with me, wish I could remember who said it: Courage does not always roar like a lion, sometimes it is a still small voice that whispers, "I will try again tomorrow". And that's what we do, we fall we get back up. Failure is when you stop getting up.


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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 1:08 AM







I forgot was going to say how right Pirate is about emotions. Those emotions can really drive you, just remember feelings aren't facts. Some very helpful things I did early on in trying to quit was to educate myself about my addiction...so important. You are fighting a war my friend! Learn all you can about your enemy. Get tools in that tool box so you have what you need when you need it. It helps to tell your story too. It's been said "you're only as sick as your secrets." and I reckon that's true enough. My biggest weapon? I got on my knees friend, I asked my Maker for help. That was the best thing.
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 3:55 PM







I hope you are doing OK today. Everyone is different. We all have our own circumstance. I was just remembering what it was like my first week, which is not necessarily how it is for you, but thought I'd share.

I remember it being surreal. It had gotten to the point I was drinking wine instead of coffee first thing in the morning. I needed to get a little buzz going, so I could face my day. then I'd drink all during the day, trying to stay sober enough to function, or so I thought. Then all I wanted after hours. It was all I lived for. So the first week sober, it was like seeing myself without any filters and it was a shock. Every minute of the day I thought about how life would be without drinking, frankly I could not imagine it. Then I got wondering how long I would keep having these thoughts in my head that I wasn't drinking. I was worried it would always be that way, my mind preoccupied with wondering what life is like without drink. Yeah, my head was doing a number on me, but I did not have cravings, so, I don't know what to advise about cravings. I can tell you those thoughts you have at the first will not continue.
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 9, 2017, 4:19 PM







I’m self-educating during this time off from normalcy and finding out a lot of stuff
It’s very helpful, although I guess I’ve always been too afraid to do so before
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 5:21 PM







Yes that's good. Knowledge is power. If we were interviewing for a job we desired we would be preparing for it to the best of our ability. No less important, more correctly nothing can compare to this, to be free from substance abuse. Because the addiction really does get in the way of any other worthwhile endeavor, does it not?

I am reading the Big Book again just now. It's such a timeless book, and in my opinion a good read for anyone, not just people like us who are powerless over alcohol.

I was glad to see you had posted again. For me it was vitally important to stay actively in recovery mode for at least the first 2 weeks. That included staying in touch here, at AA, reading the Big Book and other information, speaking with my on line sponsor, my family. Not to say 2 weeks will do it, then that's it, but the first 2 weeks seemed the most critical.

Also I drank copious amounts of fruit juice and water. Stay hydrated. Don't be sad at all, play cheerful music, or whatever to keep your spirits up. Chin up friend, you are doing great.
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 9, 2017, 6:00 PM







I am indeed posting a lot and it helps to find things out
I stayed in denial for so long
I didn’t want to search for reasons because I’d done so since I was 16 and never did I find answers
I just gave up
and now I see that periods of my life were drenched in alcohol, not just the past couple of years
Stuff I’d forgotten has come to light
All I needed was to be honest with myself
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 6:26 PM







Some of us drink simply because we are alcoholics. When I was a teenager I got drunk a few times. This did not make me think I had a problem because it was so infrequent. Basically the same into my adult years, and don't know exactly when I went from that to drinking every day.

You're gonna get thru this, and be better for it. This may sound crazy, but I would not trade my alcoholism for anything. After doing all the "working thru this" self examination. etc., I have such a grateful attitude about life and people, and anything really that comes my way. Even the difficult things builds my character, and any suffering I may have to go thru, while may not be exactly fun, I know if I overcome, it will only serve to help me and possibly others as well. One experience paves the way to navigate other experiences. Does that make sense?
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 9, 2017, 6:44 PM







Perfect sense
I regret the chaos I’ve created but I feel better with my new thoughts of overcoming this
Finally I’ve gotten my family back
Drinking kept me isolated but now I’ll make changes
I feel awake now
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 7:39 PM







Oh yeah, me too, I've my share of remorse for what I put my family thru, they did not deserve that from me. I won't forget it and know they probably won't forget either, but ya know what? We can not live in that regret. The past is gone, we can not change it. We can be proactive, make amends where it's possible. Live the best life we can and be an example of a changed life. Show our loved ones what it looks like to overcome and be somebody they are glad to call mom, or wife, sister, whatever fits your situation. If ever I find myself thinking about how badly I behaved back then, I quickly return to the now, and don't dwell in it. That would steal my joy, and joy is precious.
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 9, 2017, 8:24 PM







That’s the way I’ve gotta look at it
Saturday Night and I’m home and sober
I know that whatever I must face, if I stay off of booze, it’ll be okay
I’m assuming I’m withdrawing - anxiety, depression and cravings
This is the big one for me
I’m healthy otherwise
If I keep drinking there’s a point where I won’t be
So, this mindset is very new for me
Honestly, I have never even stopped like this before- there was always a part of me that knew I was full of crap
This time that part isn’t present
It’s a surreal feeling
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Lynn
Posted: December 9, 2017, 8:37 PM







I know exactly what you mean, it's kinda like "show time" or something. Kinda like now or never. For me, I knew my health was beginning to decline. Was too thin and very undernourished, heck I didn't eat, just wanted to drink.

Home and sober on a Sat. night, used to be that would have sounded just terrible. Now it sounds like a taste of heaven. Our home is so peaceful now. It's amazing. I used to be so deceived, thinking our arguments had little to nothing to do with my drinking. Ha. What a load of bull. Now we never argue, seriously. We may disagree now and again, but not argue. There is such a difference.
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tiredofthis2017
Posted: December 9, 2017, 8:57 PM







My family is so supportive that I feel even guiltiest
All kinds of truths have been sought
Finally I know I had issues from growing up and they led me to drink so much
Everything seems to be coming together now
I guess withdrawals will be happening for awhile I’ve had them before but always drank and nipped them in the bud
Not this time
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