Alcohol And Cannibis
Posted: February 10, 2015, 6:42 AM


Posts: 2
Joined: February 9, 2015



Hello,

I hope you are all well.

The reason i'm posting in this section is because ive read some amazing success stories and with every one I get a little boost. Hat's off to all of you who have beaten your demons.

I have been an alcoholic and drug addict for the last 15 years or so, I have drank daily, smoked weed daily for as long as I can remember. Up until about 4 years ago I was hooked on alcohol, weed, nicotine, cocaine and amphetamine. When I write it down like that I am just amazed my body has survived that battering day in day out for so long. Anyway, I managed to kick my 10 year cocaine and speed addiction 4 years ago and have never looked back. However I continued to drink and smoke weed every single day and have done ever since. About a week ago I started reflecting on my life and how much it has changed for the better in the last 4 years and now its time to get rid of the rest and start giving my body and mind the well deserved care it needs.

5 days ago I had my final drink which is a big deal for me as its been a daily habit for longer than I care to think. I am now down to my last little bit of cannabis and the fear is getting stronger by the minute. My fear...(which I know is the driving force behind addiction) is getting so strong because its the final thread I need to break. I used to joke that I have no idea what it feels like to have a body free from poisonous chemicals. My brain has not gone a day in 15 years without being poisoned by some sort of drug. It sounds crazy but the fear of the unknown is getting stronger and stronger and im worried I'm going to cave. What will I do with my time, what will occupy my mind. these sound like really stupid fears but for me they are all consuming

Can anyone who has beaten these addictions offer any advice on how to battle through the fear and not return to the bottle.



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Posted: February 10, 2015, 9:38 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



Do what millions of others alcoholic/addicts do... go to AA & NA meetings.

That's where we go when all else has failed... the last house on the street.

Good luck.

Bob

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
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Posted: February 10, 2015, 11:42 AM


Posts: 6195
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Barry Welcome to the board. I can relate to the fear you are feeling. It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem and it takes even more courage to do something about it. Having courage does not mean there is no fear but it means going ahead in spite of the fear. So please try to remember that when you move forward from drinking and using to a life of sobriety. It will be difficult , there is nothing easy about recovery especially in early recovery. There will be many changes that you will have to make in your life which will include not hanging out in your using places, not hanging out with people who are still using and developing a new life style away from the kind of life style you have grown accustomed too. This is made possible by reaching out to other recovering addicts (which you are doing).. attending meetings if at all possible and meeting others who have overcome addiction. You will get understanding and support and especially in those first few weeks help in staying sober... It is not something that you can do alone but it is possible to do with others who have been where you are... please keep coming back and share with us how things work out for you. Remember every journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step... buy the Big Book of AA or download it online.you can start that step by reading it right now,, here is the link.....

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

This post has been edited by pirate on February 10, 2015, 11:44 AM

--------------------
Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: February 11, 2015, 7:29 AM


Posts: 2
Joined: February 9, 2015



Thank you both for your response and kind words of support.

I am still free of alcohol so only the cannabis left. My biggest problem really is that its not so easy to change certain things, I always drank or used when I was at home doing normal everyday tasks. I also work from home for a lot of the day so I don't have much choice but to continue with my same routine but without the drink/drugs. I never drank with anyone, my partner whom I live with does not drink ever. The friends ive got don't really drink or use drugs so ive got every opportunity to be free from temptations. I just need to re-program my brain to be able to do these things without poisoning myself.....sounds simple enough...ha!

anyway thanks for your support guys and I will definitely be on to write a success story when im free.

Thanks for the advice to join a group or go to a meeting. I know this works for a massive amount of people and its a fantastic organisation. Its not for me though... I do like to get advice from people who have been where i am as i feel they give me the motivation and understanding i need more than a gp ever could but i disagree with the phrase 'once an addict, always an addict'. I beat my addiction to cocaine and speed by researching the drug and finding out exactly how it worked and what it did to the brain and once i had a full understanding of it i found it much easier to break free. I no longer regard myself as an addict in recovery of those 2 drugs. I don't have to tell myself that i don't need them. I never did need them, i just thought i did because that's what addictive drugs do....create an artificial hunger. Ive sat in the company of people taking cocaine and been offered it but it felt no different to if someone offered me heroin (which ive never used). Once i flushed the drug out and got through the physical withdrawal period I have never craved either of them again. The reason i didn't have the same views on alcohol and weed at the time is because they seemed a lot more socially acceptable, alcohol is legal everywhere and weed is legal in certain parts of the world.
I realise now that there is nothing socially acceptable about drinking or enhaling poison in any form so i have studied up on alcohol and am currently studying weed and its effects. The lack of understanding of what was happening inside my body was keeping me addicted. Once you see the drug for what it is and try and see yourself as non users see you it becomes easier.

Anyway sorry to have gone on so long. The problem i didn't anticipate is the fear of being free. That's one that only ex users who have beaten addiction can help me with.

Thanks again for your posts and i wish you all the best in the future

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Posted: February 11, 2015, 8:43 AM


Posts: 178
Joined: April 3, 2013



Hi Barry

Congratulations on your successful efforts to get and stay drug and alcohol free.
I am an alcoholic and sobered up with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, so can only advise on how that has been successful for me.

I wish you well with your efforts to get and stay clean and sober, but know and remember that we are not judgemental, and will help anyone who wants our help with the AA Program.

E.

--------------------
Let me love and serve and teach,
Those who come within my reach.
For miracles begin that way!
Author: Sally Deford
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Posted: February 11, 2015, 11:34 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



AA & NA will be there for you after you have exhausted all other avenues as it is for millions.

Good luck.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
  Top
Posted: February 13, 2015, 1:49 AM


Posts: 653
Joined: March 17, 2007



Hi Barry,

My life used to revolve around getting drunk. I was only sober when during working hours or if I had to drive somewhere.... This forum was huge in my recovery. I, like you didn't go to AA although I respect what they do and believe their program is effective.

You asked what gets a person through the fear of being sober. I guess for me, at first, my fear of being drunk became more powerful than my fear of being sober so I stopped drinking. I then encountered the things I was afraid of; it turned out that once I faced them they weren't much of an issue at all.

That got me started on the sobriety path, I then had to learn to deal with reality and my sober self. Getting sober didn't change things from bad to good it changed them from false to real and real isn't always easy.

Part of the fear of being drunk was the fact that I had an experience that caused me to admit that I had no control over alcohol. It wasn't until I realized that, I by myself was powerless, that I could start moving forward.

Telling other people (on this board) the truth about where I was also helped hugely. Telling other people the truth stopped me from running laps inside my own head telling my self lies.

That's part of my story, I don't know if any of it resonates with you or not.... In any case, be sure that you have my best wishes.... I am ever so thankful to be free of the bondage I was once in and hope you can find your way there also

one day at a time, Cookster
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Posted: February 13, 2015, 9:51 AM


Posts: 6195
Joined: January 5, 2008



Welcome back Cookster! good to see you again :)

--------------------
Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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