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Posted: December 23, 2014, 8:56 AM
So I started using coke, crack,meth, opiate pills and drinking heavily when I was 14. I became a full blown meth addict while I was 15 and finally got sober when I was 16. I still continued to take pills, drink, and sniff a little coke, but very very rarely. After I had a short phase of anorexia and bulimia, but I overcame it quickly. After my year sobriety passed, everything seemed to go downhill again. I had an abusive drug using boyfriend and although before drugs he was an absolute angel, he became a truly evil human being, and I began popping a few percs and drinking (didnt let anyone know) to not let it bother me so much. Which led to buying coke again, and shortly after I left the town I was living in for a "fresh start", I began using coke daily. I met my old crack dealer at work and we began talking, I moved into his house whilst intoxicated, he started using the coke with me,and relapsed on needles. I tried and binged at his houze for a month, then decided id never touch it again in my life.. Recently i began seeing my ex and doing mdma for days in a row, and drinking and sniffing coke. Not only have i lost another job, but my mom is so upset and angry with me, im losing all of my friends again, falling way too far behind in school, and starting to feel crazy. The drugs arent getting me high like they used to, and everytime i get high i just worry about coming down, because it keeps getting worse and worse. I feel so unbelievably hopeless, like I. Cant see myself ever getting anywhere more than this. I just dont enjoy anything without them anymore. And my anxiety becomes brutalIm 17, stuck in gr 10,no license or job..I really needhelp, I cant keep doing this to my family.the paranoia also continues to get worse, its starting to really mess with my head. If anyone has any advice or personal expiriances it would be
greatly appreciated...... I feel completely powerless to getting high, it rules my life, i am so sick of this..... :(
Posted: December 23, 2014, 10:20 AM
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous (AA & NA) saved my life and will do the same for you if you apply yourself to it.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous
Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf
AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf
NA's HOW IT WORKS:
--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.
---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
... I need AA more than it needs me.
--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.
...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.
---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.
--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !
---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.
---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.
... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.
---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .
"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
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