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Posted: November 15, 2005, 2:59 PM
I'm a mid-40s male trying to overcome a 20+ year porn addiction. The Internet has made porn so accessible that it's hard to fight. I work on a computer in a private office most of the day and know that in 30 seconds or less I can access any type of porn I desire. As I sit typing this my fingers are restless and itching to seek out a porn site. My longest streak of late is 44 days. I binged yesterday and am trying to start over today.
I've tried all kinds of mental tricks, some filters, I have people I'm accountable to, but I still can forget all that, enter a "tunnel-vision zone" and pursue porn almost at all costs. I feel like @##$$% after I binge on it, I abstain, and then it starts all over again. I usually begin looking a non-nude, swimwear, or lingerie sites and avoid nudity. I rationalize that this is OK, though I'm still lusting. Then, once I see a breast or two, I feel I've broken the barrier, and then I pursue hardcore with a vengeance. I'm also triggered by women I see at work, especially in the summer when they wear less clothing. Insights? | ||
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Posted: November 16, 2005, 3:07 PM
Hello
I am sorry to hear you have such a problem. I don't know much about porn adddiction but I am wondering if some information would really help you in terms of how damaging pornography is to women. Perhaps then you wouldn't find it as appealing. I am a woman myself and I used to find female porn exciting but since I have educated myself about how it degrades and damages women it doesn't do it for me at all anymore. It has totally opened my eyes because I never understood why people said it was damaging to women, I didn't see how since the way I saw it was they were choosing to be there. I am coming from a differnet place I know because I am a woman myself and only occassionally looked at it rather than had it as an addiction but it's funny that what I used to find so exciting completely turns me off now. What about your relationships otherwise? Do you have a g/f or a wife? I'm just wondering because addictions, particularly sexual addictions are a primary way to avoid intimacy because you spread your sexual energy about rather than concentrate it in one place. Therefore there is less danger of you becoming really involved and therefore in a position of getting very hurt. Sex and love addicts annonymous is a great place to start if you want help. Hope you start to feel a bit better soon, Lynn | ||
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Posted: November 28, 2005, 6:57 AM
Angstriddensoul
You may have to get something for your computer like NetNanny or some other "child filtering" program. Trust me, programs like these are ment to keep porn from people not needing to see it. They will work. You embarrised about having the program? Well - compaired to what you were looking at which would you want people to find out about? I set the program up as my wife stood by, (we did it as a team not as her looking over my shoulder to pounce when I screw up again). I made sure to list every site that I often visited and search words that I used. In netnanny you can filter the porn type sites and you can also list sites that are ligitimate but may be filtered because of one thing or another. When I wasnt around - my wife set up the admin portion so that I cant go back and change anything. It is kinda degrading I admit - but so far I'm porn free for about 3 weeks !!!! I have been addicted to porn for a short time however, it was evident that I needed some help. My wife found all the pictures that I had saved and that is what started my road to recovery. Granted the road has been bumpy as heck but its been a positive endevour. Hope the best for you Good Luck, "B" | ||
Posts: 5751
Joined: November 6, 2005
Posted: November 28, 2005, 8:49 PM
Hey, First off I would think it's a good thing that you are seeking help or insight. Good for you.
Secondly, I have to say I don't know anything about porn addiction, but it has to be awful. Here is another addiction that actually can be brushed aside by society because it's so prevelant, and almost acceptable in our society. You can drink, gamble, and be addicted to porn, and they're all so easy to get. I wish you all strength, and some decent help in your endeavors. It certainly sounds like you want the help. | ||
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Posted: August 6, 2014, 9:09 PM
This may as well be me talking! Word for word it sounds as if I wrote this. I am 46 and share the same experience as you. i try so hard, think I have it beat, then I am back in. You went 44 days? Thats about my record. I would like to know of a chatroom for people with the same problem.
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