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Do I Need To Follow Every Suggestion?

Posted: May 4, 2017, 5:47 PM
I have been in and out of 12-step recovery for nearly 2 decades. I use a few times a year and would like to stop entirely.

However, I have been told that I need to take work that does not make me act like an authority figure until I have a few years of clean time. I have been told I need to think about buying rather than renting my apartment. I have been told I need to upgrade my car.

At my age, quitting my job would end my career. While I understand that increasing my financial obligations would mean I have less money for drugs, it seems a weird way to go about it.

I have heard variations on these suggestions from every sponsor I had, but they seem unhelpful. I think they could destroy my life as effectively as drug use.

My latest sponsor gave me worksheets on the steps. At first I was happy for the guidance. But the second step worksheet took me back to using and I called a dealer after. I was able to call him back and cancel, but it felt like a close call.

Am I unreasonable to reject so much of what is suggested? I just do not feel helped by this. Of course, I have not been able to stay clean, so maybe I am all wet on this.

Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016

Posted: May 7, 2017, 9:50 PM
Em - letting you know someone called Rebozo on Cocaine board was saying similar stuff. It does sound unreasonable, but idk have any personal experience. the sponsors told him to buy a different car, quit his job and move.... sounds like the same advice. you say the point is to exhaust your income in other ways so u don't have $$ for drug use? but it is not practical. and does not sound like a positive thing if it is opposite of what you want to do... yeah it would ruin your life to be strapped with a high overhead of expenses. if the idea is to get your $ out of your hands, put it in an IRA or something that you can not withdraw until you retire.... just a thought, check out Rebozos postings....


Posted: May 10, 2017, 11:56 PM
I think I may have reached the end of the line with 12-step recovery.

It holds out the promise of help and support, but in practice it is all about powergames, hooking up, and ego. Not really my scene.

Posted: May 1, 2019, 5:27 PM
I was doing that when I came to your thread and seen need to click every thread I totally agree hahaaha

Posts: 32
Joined: July 16, 2019

Posted: July 17, 2019, 2:51 PM
N/A is often a meat market, but drug addiction can create certain permanent personality changes that there is no recovery from. "Just say no." The alternative is go back to using which is far worse! Make the best of it and stick with the winners!

Nobody follows every "suggestion." The key to sobriety is taking more suggestions than you reject.

Not every "suggestion" is in fact a good one. The suggestions you refer to seem to be major changes and not everyone has sufficient knowledge to make these "suggestions." It may be necessary to talk to your sponsor or someone qualified to evaluate such suggestions. The second step says that we may be restored to "sanity", soundness of mind and action. At some point you should be able evaluate these suggestions for yourself.

For various reasons, it is suggested that you don't get into or out of a relationship or make any major changes in the first year. Should you be facing any of these, I suggest consulting your sponsor and your higher power.
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