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Daughter’s Addiction & Grandkids

Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018

Posted: April 13, 2021, 8:50 AM
Sallyana, I'm so sorry & yes, Jeffrey is right - we all understand! We all have to step sometimes, for our own mental health. Addicts (as we all so very well know) will suck out your soul & sell it to the devil and then complain we don't help them.

Jeffrey - I'm glad the kids are safe, your parents have realized how bad your daughter is and she hasn't abandoned her kids. Fortunately my son didn't have children.

Posts: 58
Joined: January 9, 2017

Posted: April 13, 2021, 10:37 AM
Hi, MTNmom

I hope you are doing well.... yes, the grandkids are doing much better.

I've been teaching in an urban school districts for + 25 years and unfortunately I've seen so many young lives affected by parental addiction.
Find some sunshine my friends,

*Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of
who do the things no one can image.

Posts: 58
Joined: January 9, 2017

Posted: January 6, 2022, 11:38 AM
I see this message board has been quiet.
Everybody is probably just worn down with the Covid and our addicted children.

But here's an update: Nothing Positive. The grandchildren are still with my addicted daughter.
My daughter is still with her boyfriend that is also an addict. The grandkids go to their father's on weekends. Both my daughter and her boyfriend have not had a job that pays with an actual paycheck for a year. She supposedly cleans some houses and he does odd jobs. Plus the Covid income tax advance money each month, until this month. Plus my mother and ex-wife still continue to give her money with no strings attached.
My granddaughter is in kindergarten so that's an all day break from the chaos- and her brother goes to Head Start half days. My ex-wife continues to get one of the kids overnight each week. They are too wild and unruly to handle together, So ex and I try to split them up when we have them.

Around Halloween was a bad episode of my daughters drugged up behavior- her son was left at school. I confronted her and again just denials, lies and blame from her.
Again, Police was called and Children's services but again, nothing was done.
I refuse to be around my daughter since that Halloween episode. I do not communicate with her at all now. My granddaughter has a phone so with her phone or my ex-wife is how I coordinate pick ups and communication with grandkids. My parents and my ex say one thing but do another thing. So I don't discuss my daughter with them any longer - my anxiety was thru the roof and I need a break from the endless cycle of daughters addiction.

I was hoping that my decision to not have anything to do with my daughter until she got help for addiction would wake up my EX and my mother but it seems to had the opposite effect. Two months later and nothing has changed with their behaviors.

The holidays were strange because my wife, son, oldest daughter and her family had Christmas together with the addicts kids only. Meanwhile, my addicted daughter & boyfriend, had my Ex wife and my parents up to her house for a Christmas together.

As I read my past post, this board acts as a journal for my memory to remember all of the chaos.
Thanks for Reading, I would love an update on your situation.

This post has been edited by jeffreyrunner on January 6, 2022, 11:49 AM

Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018

Posted: January 18, 2022, 2:55 PM
Awww Jeffrey - I hate this addiction & what it does to everyone involved. It's even more hurtful when some people enable the horrible behavior & then you are the bad guy. When my son was using, both my other sons completely disappeared. Neither would help or even give us emotional support. One even said he did want to hear anything more about his brother's bulls***. My husband & I were left to deal with the emotional toll of lies, rages, hysterical phone calls, arrests, violation of court orders, fees, etc. alone. We were on a 40th anniversary vacation during this time so we were getting collect calls & international phone fees.

FORTUNATELY, he is holding it together, has a job & a new girlfriend. I believe my son is not using however I also know that for 20 years he was using, held a job, marriage & lying almost every word out of his mouth. I also know he is always one bad decision from catastrophe.

I wish the courts & children's services would use their authority to force your daughter into a position to get clean & stay clean for the sake of her children.

Try to care for yourself Jeffrey because that's really all you can do

Posts: 83
Joined: January 18, 2022

Posted: January 19, 2022, 9:28 AM
i live among addicts and am a man who chose my way out of addiction, though i am just sum guy. best you can do is love them and let your heart out to them as often as you can, and be true to your own hart. do not hide how you feel, at all. my heart goes out to you, may our creator bless you with a way to help your loved ones.

Posts: 58
Joined: January 9, 2017

Posted: January 20, 2022, 10:54 AM
mtm MoM

Thanks for the encouragement- Glad to hear your son is at least keeping it somewhat together.
It's such a long crazy train ride.

just sum guy

Thank you. Keep fighting and stay strong.

Nothing has really changed in the last few week. She continues the lying and cheating her enablers.

Posts: 83
Joined: January 18, 2022

Posted: January 20, 2022, 8:30 PM
sounds to me like your a god send for your family. i would be as open as you can, and pour your heart out on em es often as posable. truth can be hard, but worth it EVERY time. Once they decide they have suffered enough and want to clean up its going to take a lot of free time and love. hang in there, i believe you will work it out. god bless ya
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