Posted: September 9, 2015, 5:49 PM
I was abused by both parents then abandoned for some time by my father. My childhood was horrendous... there was very little joy, mostly suffering. I've seen a lot of pain. I'm happy to elaborate or commiserate with anyone. When I was 18 I realized something was wrong. I was put on clonazepam, 1mg. That eventually went to 3mg. Then some years later I was put on an anti depressant. When I was about 25 i started doing a lot of drugs, mostly cocaine. Once in awhile I would do ecstasy and mushrooms. Then I hurt my back and was put on percocets and morphine. I started to abuse those. So now I'm on clonazepam, percocets, morpine and whatever else I can get my hands on, including booze. The percs went on for a few years, then I moved to Hoboken. I stopped the percs and picked up the drinking and cocaine. That went on for 2 years, then I moved to Jersey City. That's when it really got out of hand. I lost my job and started selling weed. I was on all kinds of drugs: clonazepam, percs, crack, cocaine, ecstasy, angel dust, wellbutrin, effexor, weed, booze, heroin (just snorting) and whatever else could be interesting. Then I lost everything and moved to a friends house in PA. I figured I would stop all the drugs cold turkey. I'm sure I almost died. I was able to stop all of them except clenazopam. I had to go back on. I started weaning off, but that was only the beginning of the journey. Then, I picked percocets back up and went nuts on them. I also started mixing in suboxen. I found some angel dust too, and started doing drugs steadily again. Fast forward to late 2014 (I had moved again). I decided it was all enough. I was just about off the clonazepam and wanted to be off everything. I stopped all the drugs abruptly once again. Not smart, but that's how it happened. My life up this point was an empty void... 2 decades of nothingness. I live to tell and so will you.